destiny old womanSince becoming aware of and accepting the reality of what struck me when in the relationship with the sociopath, the boy in my story, I try making decisions related to telling more of my story based on what I may or may not regret.

So when I was contacted this week by a researcher interested in interviewing me and learning more about my story for a new show on relationships to run on A&E’s Biography Channel, I hesitated to respond:

A.) I needed to run the idea passed my husband. He is ultimately affected by every decision I make related to telling my story. If he worries it will affect us negatively, I worry too.

B.) On the heals of my HuffPost Live appearance, I was feeling defeated and couldn’t help but ask, “Is continuing to speak out worth the stress and regret when I get it wrong or when I do a half-assed job of trying to express myself?”

C.) Can I really do this? Do I have the resources and the time to dedicate to something like this? Just a few weeks ago I was writing about not writing as much about this subject matter.

I immediately texted my husband. He immediately responded with, “Go for it!”

So I am going for it. I have a phone interview later next week and will be provided with more details. Once I am able to share more, I will.

In the meantime, please let me know some of the major focus areas related to sociopaths and recovery from pathological relationships that you think should be touched upon if the show allows.

If it were not for the support of my family and friends and all of the wonderful people I have had the privilege of meeting through this blog, I wouldn’t have the confidence and motivation I have to keep trying.

One day soon, I wholeheartedly believe, the words sociopath, psychopath, relational harm and pathological love will be understood by the majority and not over-used or misused like they are today.

Namaste! Peace and love!

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Join the conversation! 10 Comments

  1. I am so glad you are deciding to do this and your husband is so supportive! I think you are too hard on yourself. This is not an easy topic to speak about and you do an eloquent job. I think sometimes we judge ourselves because it is difficult to find the words/language to express these ideas to those who have never suffered this form of abuse. It’s almost like we are speaking a different language. What you say, though, has so much value. You have transformed so many of my thoughts with your work.


  2. I would definitely touch on Martha Stout’s 13 rules for dealing with sociopaths in everyday life on pages 156-162.


  3. Paula, I think one of the major hurdles that we face is that most people think of sociopaths as murderers and hence our stories seem so unbelievable. I think that one of the issues that needs to get out there is that these people are charming, could be living right next door to you as a pillar of the community but the reality is that they are wolves hiding in sheeps’s clothing and are very dangerous.


  4. Paula, you are certainly able to do this! don’t let a bit of stage-fright stand in the way…many a great person had to start SOMEWHERE at the beginning! before you go ‘on’ again, have a list for yourself of important points you want to address. I’m here in your corner


    • Yes, we are all in your corner! You can do this and you are doing so much good brining attention to this problem. thank you.


  5. I was married to one for 29 years. I knew he was controlling but I was not aware how damaging it was to me. He got better, worse, better for long periods of time until he got MS. IT got a lot worse and he blamed the MS for his behavior. It wasn’t that I didn’t see that he was controlling, I knew. What I didn’t know was how he manipulated me and how much he lied to me. I never knew about personality disorders or what NPD was. When you are living in it, with it daily, it’s impossible to understand what is happening. The lies got worse when he realized he could no longer control me and when I told him I wanted a divorce. He lied to his family, he lied to our children, he lied to everyone. He wanted to make everyone I cared about believe I was the one lying, that I was stealing money from him, having an affair, etc. His family were so angry at me that they refused to talk to me and they caused so much pain to me and our children. Suffice to say, I thought I was losing my mind and I was afraid of him and everyone else. I didn’t know who believed what and I guess I am trying to say the lies are what are the hardest. The lies about everything. I realized there are people who have no empathy or conscious and I still have problems knowing I trusted this person and (loved him) I do not know who he was. I never did. Or his family. I never knew there was such evil (and good) in the same person. I say the good as long as I cooperated and let him control me and put up with the “bad”. The lies are the worst thing for me because you can’t wrap your head around it and you can never get back what was lost through the lies.


  6. How they charm “the world” but are vicious raging monsters. It’s so hard to have anyone believe us about these people


  7. Paula, one of the bigger issues with sociopaths is the parental alienation syndrome they cause when someone has children with them. My daughter had 2 children with one and though she has been divorced since 2001 and her ex is remarried with a new family, he works overtime to this very day to alienate her children from her. He is extremely wealthy so it is very easy for him! Millions of men and women in this country are affected with alienation from narcissists/sociopaths!


    • I definitely want to discuss (or get a chance to discuss) the affect of these types on children, inside and out side a relationship or marriage. And how the torment and abuse doesn’t end but often becomes more painful, controlling and tiresome. Thank you for this reminder about parental alienation. It’s REAL! And it’s not normal!


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