Brain machine

Changing Our Brains After the Toxic Relationship with the Sociopath @ElephantJournal

BrainmachineOur brains like balance. Even if the balance doesn’t produce positive results in our life, the brain fights to keep the balance.

Being in a relationship with a sociopath resulted in a brain balance that causes us to think and function in a non-desirabe way. We can attribute this non-desirable brain balance to any number of factors: trauma, cognitive dissonance, emotional, spiritual, sexual and physical abuse.

Once outside of the pathological love relationship, we find ourselves flailing and desperate to change and change quickly.

In our desperation, we fail to realize that it’s not our will to change that we’re battling; it’s our chemistry. Our bodies got comfortable and balanced even in our suffering and despair. Just because we want to change that, doesn’t mean our bodies will cooperate freely and instantly. On the contrary, our bodies desire to maintain whatever balance has been established.

Asking our minds to change is the same as asking our minds to be okay with being thrust into a period of imbalance. Our mind doesn’t like that idea and fights against that imbalance.

With lots of patience in our ability to fight this internal resistance, we can create a new and improved balance, one that allows us to feel peace and a renewed sense of self-love and hope.

*I edit and write for Elephant Journal Literary Magazine.  I was tasked with reviewing and posting the following story yesterday, which inspired this post.

Neuroscience & Why Changing Our Habits is Hard
http://www.elephantjournal.com/2013/05/neuroscience-why-changing-our-habits-is-hard-stephen-light/

The article provides some insight into why our desire to change and move beyond the pathological love relationship isn’t instant and requires time, dedication and persistent motivation.

It was like an addiction after all…

Namaste! Happy Monday! ~Paula

Women Who Love Psychopaths Cover by Sandra L. Brown

Spotlight: Relational Harm Reduction and Public Psychopathy Education

Women Who Love Psychopaths Cover by Sandra L. BrownWhen I come across another blogger or author or advocate who is actively bringing awareness to others about pathology, psychopaths, relational harm, abuse, recovery and healing on a regular and frequent basis, I share my discovery. I re-blog or re-tweet or write a Facebook status update on my book page dedicated to that person or organization.

For several months, I have been highly influenced and motivated by the work and research of:

The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Psychopathy Education (The Institute)

Sandra L. BrownThe Institute is lead by CEO and founder, Sandra L. Brown, M.A. Sandra has over 25 years of experience as a psychoanalyst and has written several books, including Women Who Love Psychopaths and How to Spot a Dangerous ManRead Sandra’s full bio...

Sandra’s partner at The Institute is Jennifer Young, LMHC. Jennifer’s career spans more than 19 years. Read Jennifer’s full bio

The following is taken from The Institute’s website:

The Institute is a rapidly growing body of people seeking to impact public education surrounding issues related to pathology, personality disorders, and psychopathy.

This growing body are survivors—women, men and their children who have sustained psychological injury because of someone else’s pathology. The only way to give meaning to the horror they lived is to find a ‘voice’ from which they teach others.

I recommend:

Namaste! ~Paula

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