Being in a relationship with a sociopath resulted in a brain balance that causes us to think and function in a non-desirabe way. We can attribute this non-desirable brain balance to any number of factors: trauma, cognitive dissonance, emotional, spiritual, sexual and physical abuse.
Once outside of the pathological love relationship, we find ourselves flailing and desperate to change and change quickly.
In our desperation, we fail to realize that it’s not our will to change that we’re battling; it’s our chemistry. Our bodies got comfortable and balanced even in our suffering and despair. Just because we want to change that, doesn’t mean our bodies will cooperate freely and instantly. On the contrary, our bodies desire to maintain whatever balance has been established.
Asking our minds to change is the same as asking our minds to be okay with being thrust into a period of imbalance. Our mind doesn’t like that idea and fights against that imbalance.
With lots of patience in our ability to fight this internal resistance, we can create a new and improved balance, one that allows us to feel peace and a renewed sense of self-love and hope.
*I edit and write for Elephant Journal Literary Magazine. I was tasked with reviewing and posting the following story yesterday, which inspired this post.
Neuroscience & Why Changing Our Habits is Hard
The article provides some insight into why our desire to change and move beyond the pathological love relationship isn’t instant and requires time, dedication and persistent motivation.
It was like an addiction after all…
Namaste! Happy Monday! ~Paula