Splitting and the Narcissistic Sociopath

Have you been riding an emotional rollercoaster because you don’t understand why your partner seems to oscillate daily (and sometimes hourly) between loving you completely and hating you with every bone and nasty word that comes out of his body?

This is called “splitting” and is one of the hallmark traits of a pathologically disturbed mind.

The sociopath divides or “splits” everything we say or do into two categories, each with simple criteria. (The criteria is simple, because the pathologically disturbed person is so simple it’s a shame we spent so many wasted hours, days, weeks and months trying to figure out him/her.)

Category A: All-Good

Everything you do that the sociopath asked you to do is all-good. You are all-good when you do these things. When you do these things you are the best thing that happened to him, the one, his soul mate, the best mother and lover he could ever ask for. As long as the things you do were his idea and directed by him, you are all-good.

Even if you do things that you know aren’t ethically good, the sociopath will still think you’re good because he’s doing those things, too.

The way he makes fun of his best friend’s girlfriend behind her back or invites them to go out to dinner just so he can talk about how “screwed-up” they are later is all-good. If you participate in this all-good behavior, you are all-good, too.

When we are perceived as all-good, the sociopath will be happy with himself and SEEM happy with us. He’ll laugh and smile and reach for hugs and give you kisses. Even if the all-good act you committed was actually, kind of morally bad, the sociopath will treat you as if you were a goddess worthy of admiration and praise.

Outwardly, you like it because you enjoy seeing people happy with themselves and with you.

Internally, you are becoming a bit confused and struggling with understanding how something so bad can be perceived as so good. After all, your momma didn’t raise you that way!

Category B: All-Bad

Everything you do that the sociopath did not know about prior to you doing or had explicitly forbade you from doing in the first place is all-bad. You are all-bad when you do these things. When you do these things you are a cheating whore, a bad mother, a hateful wife or girlfriend, and someone who doesn’t deserve respect. If you do anything that was not his idea in the first place, you are all-bad.

Even if you do things that you know are ethically good, the sociopath will still think you’re bad because you’re doing something, thinking something, or desiring something that doesn’t involve him.

When you take calls from a friend who is going through a divorce or a rough patch and just needs a shoulder to cry on and a voice of understanding is all-bad. When you participate in this all-bad behavior, you are all-bad, too.

When we are perceived as all-bad, the sociopath will be very, very angry with us. He will rage and pound and stomp and shout. He will throw lamps in your direction. He will lift his laptop over his knee and crack it in two. He will call you a whore and your mother a bad mother and your sisters poor excuses for family members. Even if the all-bad act is actually accepted as morally good by the rest of society, you are evil, hateful, and a disgusting excuse for a human. 

Outwardly, you agree your behavior was all-bad because it hurt the sociopath and why would you want to cause a person who you love to be so hurt and upset?

Internally, you are becoming a bit confused and struggling with understanding how something so good can be perceived as so bad. After all, your momma didn’t raise you that way, either!

It’s very important to always remember that whenever you share something with the narcissistic sociopath, you are instantly judged as either all-good or all-bad. These judgments are instinctual to the sociopath and require very little thought on his part. It’s either about him (good), or it’s not about him (bad).

Crazy-making: When all-good and all-bad collide simultaneously

You come home and start a conversation, “I was thinking about you today…”

But before you can even finish telling the sociopath what you were thinking, he jumps in and interrupts with, “Oh, you are so sweet, Baby. I was thinking about you, too.”

He then spends many minutes showering you with kisses and smothering you with hugs. Even though you hated being interrupted, you enjoy the attention. Humans love attention.

Finally, you are able to continue with your previous thought and say, “I was thinking it would be better to cut our trip from 10 days to 5 days. I think I’ll miss my son too much if we…”

Again, he interrupts you, this time screaming, “You ungrateful whore! You’re always crying about spending time with your son. What about spending time with me, you fucking whore?!?”

In an instant, the loving attention becomes hateful abuse. You spend the rest of the next few hours dodging more insults, crying for him to be reasonable, and wishing you were anywhere else but there.

This is your crazy-making relationship with a narcissistic sociopath (or with any person afflicted with a pathological Cluster B personality disorder). Does it make any sense that a person can love you so, so much one minute and then despise everything about you the next?

Healthy people are not equipped to handle this and shouldn’t be expected to handle this. The longer a healthy person remains in relationship like this, the more he/she is harmed and the more he/she compromises his/her core values, beliefs and ability to love themselves and others.

Relationships like this cause hidden, internal confusion for the victim. This internal confusion resembles the outward chaos of the physical and verbal battles.  Even when the victim is alone, he/she battles inwardly to end the conflict. On one side, the sociopath is telling the victim to do this because it’s good. On the other side, the victim’s conscience is telling her don’t do this because it’s bad.

Which side should we listen to? We all know. We should leave this person.

You speak to yourself, “But I can’t abandon a person; that goes against my moral code.”

You answer yourself, “But the sociopath is forcing you to go against your moral code every day.”

We are left with a choice: choose the sociopath or choose ourselves. If there is ever a time to be selfish, it’s now.

Choose you. Is that such a tough thing to do? You matter more. Namste!

(image source: SlamEVIL)

Category:
abuse, Cluster B disorders, domestic violence, Emotional Abuse, Family, Health, Love, Mental Health, mindfulness, Narcissist, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, NPD, Peace, Psychopaths, Relationships, Sociopaths, Spirituality, Writing
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Join the conversation! 41 Comments

  1. Great article, I just keep thinking omg. omg it’s all so true!! I cant tell you how many times the ex called me a whore! The minute to minute changing attitudes, leaving you in a wtf state constantly. It ‘s great to find a place with such kindered souls. Thank you all for sharing so much of your lives. It seems the same situation every single time. Unreal. I am still being harassed by the ex, he asks “are you really done with me?? You must really be in love this time’ Blaming me because he cannot blame himself for being the real whore in the relationship. And to think they are all like that is incredulous. I was never unfaithful to him, nor do I date now, I am still working on myself, not to mention the fact I will not bring this baggage to a kind hearted man. He emails still, I just don’t answer. No more monsters under my bed or in my life, thank you very much. Thanks Paula for your great work and your caring. Jp

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    • Thank you, JP, for the thanks. It sounds like you were dating my ex’s twin. Stay strong and continue honoring yourself through no contact. 🙂 ❤

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  2. Mo, my heart aches for what you’ve gone through…but know this…the situation he’s in now WILL end and it will end badly. It will be ugly and the woman he’s with will feel your pain one way or another. Men like that cannot have healthy relationships. Do whatever you have to to stay strong for your son because he needs you to help him through this and you need him too! I was married to a man like this for 10+ years and have been divorced from him for about 5. It has taken me a long time to get my confidence and self esteem back. The damage he did was much more profound than I had thought. Be kind and careful with yourself and ask for help from wherever you need it. The sooner you can cease all contact with your ex the better. Healing is so much easier when he is completely out of your life. These men don’t love anyone…not their wives, their girlfriends and not their children. They aren’t capable of love or empathy or kindness or any positive emotion. Keep him away from you and from your son and move forward. I wish you all the best.

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    • it strikes me when I read these articles Paula it’s like everything I was thinking and been through. The only thing my ex could love was her dog and on her computer it would say love your pets unconditionally and I always used to say to her that such a Joe because the only time you can love is conditionally me or any other human being if you do this or that and this right I like you if not it was hell

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    • It’s VERY frustrating! I think dealing with a female sociopath may almost be worse, and I’m not one to put degrees on suffering. However, it seems, from my experience, that female sociopaths have a remarkable ability to use sex appeal and the women’s liberation movement as a mask for their selfish behavior. They have every excuse in the book why we should forgive them and feel sorry for them…they’ve been so influenced by the media and abused by men their entire lives and only used as sex objects…blah, blah, blah! Did you get that from her, Steve, all of these “convenience” excuses that blamed her gender and not herself?

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  3. This article really hit home with me. I am 38, married (currently separated since 2/2012) to a narcissist/ sociopath. We ha ve a 14 year old son together, and I have been in this relationship over 15 years. Even though I have been separated from my abusive husband for over a year, I still can’t “move on”. I can’t date, it seems. If I do meet someone I like, within a few days, maybe weeks at best, I am completely “turned off” in the new relationship. However, my husband met “the love of his life” literally within days of him being evicted from our home, because I had filed a PFA. He is still with this woman, who adores him, and I feel like I am worthless and unlovable. He has been emotionally and mentally abusive to me, then became physically abusive about 4 years ago. Convinced I had an affair (?), he became irrational and violent when his suspicions would boil over. For example, he would go through my purses, gather receipts from places I had shopped or eaten, then weeks later onfront me and say “why were you here when you told me you there?” Because the receipts would be weeks, sometimes over a month old, I would become confused and that was a sign of “guilt” to him. It got to a point where I made sure I locked my purse in my car at night, hide my car keys, lock my cell phone, etc. Looking back, I know that just solidified hisconvictions I was a tramp, cheating left and right, calling me a “c&$# sucking Whore”, and all the while nothing I did or said mattered. It ended in a fight one February night when I had taken our son to a friends house to play. Only the friends father was home, so while the kids played, we sat in the kitchen discussing my marriage, and what I should do. After the play date was over, we went home. When my husband came home, he immediately questioned my son where he had been with me. My son answered, my husband only heard that the father had been home, so he came running into our bedroom where I was and began screaming at me “how could you?!” and attempted to physically drag me out of the house at 11pm at night. My son heard the commotion, ran out of the house (pajamas and bare feet in Feb in PA) and banged on our neighbors door, screaming for help. The neighbors called the police, and that night officially ended my marriage.
    Since then, I have attempted suicide twice, have been committed to a mental hospital, lost my 14 year long career, lost my home to foreclosure, and have severe depression. I feel like I completely lost control of my life, meanwhile he has found and kept a beautiful woman who is divorced herself with a 11 year old daughter. My husband, meanwhile, has not seen or spoken to our son since December 27 2012. He says he won’t because of me.
    I don’t understand how he can pull off being “normal” and happily move on, and I am stuck mentally. He has abandoned all of his possessions at our home that is in foreclosure. All his clothes, shoes, personal things, photos of his 2 other children (I am wife #2, 12 years younger than him) and walk away. It’s like we never existed. He ignored our son’s 14th birthday this past April. I am completely heartbroken for myself, but mostly for my son who had to endure life with a father who was a ticking time bomb, then watch his mother go to pieces. When I attempted suicide, my husband didn’t even bother to see if I was ok. What pushed me over the edge was when I received an email from my husband with photos attached of his new “love” performing oral sex on him. They both decided to send photos so I would “leave them alone”.
    I can’t wrap my head around his behavior, his hateful email, and mostly the fact that he would prefer my son and I don’t exist. Can anyone relate?

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    • Dear Mo, so sorry that you have had to go through all of that. I would love to say that your story is unique but sadly it is not as many women share the same story. Just know that it is not about you and has never been about you. The choices these men make have to do with their disorder and not with our behavior. They would even rage at and accuse Mother Theresa of cheating. It’s what they, the narcs do, and they are projecting their own behaviors and allowing a glimpe into their mind set. This man is not worth your life or your son growing up without a mother. Forget the father, these men don’t care a whit about their kids. You will recover. It just takes time but you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. Read and learn as much as you can about NPD–that helped me alot. I highly recommend, Malignant Self-Love by Sam Vakin and Women Who Love Psychopaths by Sandra. L. Brown.

      Hang in there my dear. hugs out to you.

      Ivonne

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    • Mo,

      Ivonne is right. Your story is shared by so many of us. You and your son no longer serve his need for narcissistic supply, so you are easily discarded. It’s not because of who you are; it’s because of what he is and his lack of empathy and a conscience. Good people don’t just throw away a life like they throw away a gum wrapper. And good people don’t try to hurt those they claimed to have once loved by throwing their new “love” in their face. Remember that this new woman is no more valuable to him than you were. She’s providing him with an outlet to vent and to be rewarded. He’s winning, he thinks, and she probably thinks she’s winning, too. But life isn’t and shouldn’t be about defeating others. It should be about supporting and encouraging others, even the ones we have grown apart or lost touch. People like your husband and my ex are not deserving of a good place in our memory banks. But we keep them there because we are human, and humans can’t just discard another person, no matter how cruel or unusual their treatment of us was or continues to be. Have pride in your grief. It will pass. Your grief is indicative of your ability to care and be affected. Pathological people are not affected the way we are by life’s relationships. 🙂

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    • Thank you so much for your responses. Reading what you have to say has allowed me to look at myself as a caring, sensitive human, rather than seeing myself as a weak, unlovable piece of trash. When you allow someone to consistently berate you, accuse you of unthinkable acts, or tells you that your a deceitful person you start to believe what they say is true. Because of wanting his love and affection for so long, and wanting to be the wife that pleased him (I listened to countless stories of his miserable first marriage, all at the hands of his first wife) you begin to lower your standard on what level of treatment from them that you will accept. I believe in karma, and what you do and say is what you will receive in return. I wonder if that will ever happen, and I inwardly hope it happens to him (and her for the hateful pictures)and that I will be able to witness it. However, I am telling myself now that I may never see what I want to see happen. He’s a very accomplished liar, a “well put together” sociopath that can convince almost anyone that he is the victim, unless you knew us both. We did not have friends that we shared together. My family detests him and his friends are single alcolics. He becomes very attached to his “partner”, making them feel that they are all he has. In reality it is true, because he was an only child between his mother and father who both have passed. So, as a woman and a mother, I wanted to “take care of him”, protect him and bring happiness to his life. Ultimately I did not do that, and there is still a part of me that feels responsible for him, because I know he is sick. I can only imagine the picture of me that he has painted for his new girl, and I’m certain he has latched on to her as he did me in the beginning.

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    • No one can “fix” him because he doesn’t see anything wrong with who he is. He wants to control everyone else and manipulate everyone else into taking care of him and following his twisted lead. You did everything you could and it still didn’t satisfy him. Why? Because he’s living for only himself and no one else. It’s a sad reality to accept. It was the hardest for me to accept.

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    • I agree. For me, I feel like if I don’t accept his behavior (in any form or way) then I also cannot forgive. To me they are one and the same. I want to forgive, and leave this heavy load of guilt, shame and heartbreak on the side of the road. I cry almost every day. I lost my home, my job and my family all within the same year. It’s hard to watch and imagine him leading a perfectly happy, loving, NORMAL life with his “love of his life’, with her 11 year old daughter and meanwhile my son and myself are completely ignored. It’s like he never knew us. No responses to anything I sent him, no returned phone calls. Nothing. Silence.

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    • I understand completely, Mo. Once you can accept that he is what he is, you’ll be able to stop crying and realize that there are more worthy people in this world who you should focus on loving and getting to know better, your son included. I ache for you because I know what it’s like to be dismissed and to be ignored. “I’m a human being, dammit! My feelings deserve consideration.” But these ugly people don’t see that. All they see is themselves and their needs. This new woman may provide him with what he needs for several months or years. If she has any kind of backbone, self-love, imagination, dreams or desires, they will eventually be crushed, sending her into depression. And he’ll walk over her to find a new source of supply just like he walked over you and your son. It hurts. It doesn’t make sense. And the more you try making sense of it, the crazier you will become. Acceptance is key to freeing yourself from this sorrow and grief.

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    • Thank you, Paula, for your insight and sharing your knowledge with myself and others. I want answers, I want to vindicate myself not just for me, but my son. The more I try to do it, the crazier I look. I have tried, several times, to execute “no contact” from me. I have gone back and forth, doing well with this but having set backs for no seen reason. I am finally ending this chapter in my life, by making the decision to give up living in the area I moved to over 12 years ago just to be with my husband, and move 175 miles away to my hometown where I have my REAL family and friends, who have stood beside me through my good and bad days. My son and I will live together in a rented mobile home, quite a difference from the $225,000 home we had together that is now going to sheriff’s sale…along with that goes all of my husband’s clothes, personal items, his photos and memories from his first marriage and his other children, furniture that was his prior to me, the China that was willed to him from his grandmother…
      I know that once I am gone from here, I will very likely never hear from him. I have told him we are moving. Not once has he asked for an address, contact information for us. Nothing but silence.

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  4. […] and if you hear this, think “splitting.” This is a great example of their black and white thinking. All good and all bad. I’ve met […]

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  5. […] and if you hear this, think “splitting.” This is a great example of their black and white thinking. All good and all bad. I’ve […]

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  6. wow,
    I ‘found’ a ‘passionate’ relationship a decade+ ago, I wanted to take it slow/ I needed to end my current relationship … not good enough for him, he could NOT understand how I could remain friends with my ex,… listening to him I blamed his abusive adopted mother (she was; another adopted lesbian sibling had a worse experience) so, I began to hate that he must have been ‘raised’ wrong; … I soon realized passion came as a pendulum, good was GREAT, bad was AWFUL, and began to wish for no more ‘highs’ and ‘lows’ — I knew I was screwed up the day I called myself ‘stupid’ and hurt MY feelings……… I blamed the alcohol, I blamed the hard drugs, I thought I was the wrong one….. I wondered why he couldn’t see I loved him… I made the mistake of (not just ending it) / not standing up to him ‘he is used to losing his cool, I don’t think of the consequences when I snap, I need to control my reactions’ … BAD DECISION, led to physical abuse, eventually, I realized the ‘spark’ had been gone for years – I actually fell for ‘we can’t have sex, I might get hurt emotionally’ …we could be having a great time and then he would ‘twist’ and things would get scarier by the second —- then, (after ‘sponging’ waayy too long) he almost killed my roomate ( another/braver roomie stepped up to halt the madness) I told him to leave MY house and got a break, long enough to realize he was probably NOT for me at all, he returned for the holiday season and I had enough New Years, – and he left, WITHOUT a major incident, THAT I still find unbelievable,
    I apologize for expounding but I’m still working through the whole experience and there is still occasional contact so I know things could go wrong again no matter what I think right now

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    • Arlene, don’t apologize. What you have shared is very similar to experiences and excuses I made and many others have made, too. But you don’t have to think you will end up back in that relationship or another like it. I recommend that you read “Women who love psychopaths” by Sandra L. Brown. Although I have not read it yet, I follow her Facebook page and listen to her blog radio show which started two weeks ago. You can find invaluable information on her site: http://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com

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  7. Reblogged this on Jesse Talks Back and commented:
    Very well written, and agreed. Amazing how easy it is to be taken in by the good and ignore the bad.

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    • It’s VERY easy. I think we assume people will realize and see how their bad behavior hurts others, and we expect them to stop behaving badly so they don’t cause harm. But they don’t care that they are harming others, so change is a foreign concept for them. The abuse continues with impunity. Thank you for reblogging, Jesse!

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    • 🙂

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  8. Oh wow Paula, thank you for visiting my blog, but also, thank you for this post. It touched my soul. Strange also how you write about sociopath, but also spirituality in your tagline. I am a spiritual person. Having been involved with 3 of them, the worst was after my daughter died, he was heavily narcissistic sadistic and distempered. My head was spinning, getting out of that relationship was hard. I had no idea that the next relationship would be with classic charismatic sociopath. Wow, he ticked every single box of lies manipulation, deception. But oddly enough, he did heal the psychological damage done by the one who was narcissistic. This is a great post, thank you!! :)…… and I still have the final sociopath in my life. He is more haphazard…. (he did cost me my job almost lost my home and got me into thousands in debt)….. but I got all of that money back x 4 (not from him). So, I watch him, observe him, and he is my inspiration to write. Last night he went crazy about something…. he had to later admit that he had gone onto my phone to read my Facebook messages. Oh, he had previously hacked my Facebook, Hotmail, I would say that the narcissistic, distempered one is the worst of all – and can do horrendous psychological damage. you can never win, and you can never make them happy. loving your work.

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    • Thank you and Wow! I can’t believe you’re IN a relationship with ONE and able to sneak away and write. And you’ve been writing a lot the last two months. Good stuff. Please be safe. 🙂

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    • Ah no!!! I am not in a relationship with him. We split in summer of 2012…. He is in my life but not as my partner. I have had enough of relationships 🙂

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    • Oh, good. A break from relationships is probably a good idea and gives you a chance to focus on the most important person in the room…YOU! Somehow I doubt you’ll be picking the wrong ones in the future, though. 🙂

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  9. Excellent point about the moral trap. I know I have been caught in it before and it has prolonged my interactions with people I should have ended relationships with long ago.

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  10. Wow! This is scary.

    So are Narcissistic Sociopaths born or made? Just curious.

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    • That’s the puzzle no one has been able to definitively solve. Many believe some are born that way and refer to those as “Psychopaths.” Other researchers believe our society and their childhood influences them. Those individuals are referred to as “Sociopaths.”

      There are studies in neuroscience and cognition being performed. You might want to read a blog I follow: “Blame the Amygdala.” He is a grad student studying decision-making and the brain with a lean toward the brains of psychopaths/sociopaths. Interesting stuff.

      But regardless if they are born or made, they cause harm to healthy, non-pathological people. Bottom line. 🙂

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    • Wow! Thanks for explaining — you are very patient with me every time I ask questions that probably seem inane. Ha-Ha! Thanks for the insight. I’ll go check out that blog. 🙂

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  11. I thought I was reading the Old Testament for a moment there.

    On Wednesday, March 13, 2013, Paula’s Pontifications wrote: > Paula posted: ” Have you been riding an emotional rollercoaster because you don’t understand why your partner seems to oscillate daily (and sometimes hourly) between loving you completely and hating you with every bone and nasty word that comes out of his body? Th” >

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  12. YES! This is so accurate almost as if you had been in my house witnessing what you just wrote. Whoa! Absolutely, exactly. If he thought of it Yay I was so good. If he didn’t think of it, watch out! Even so far as simply going to the bathroom. I’m not kidding! I practically breathed when he told me to, but not until… I was so conditioned to want to please, make it okay, it was so insidiously manipulative.

    If there’s one thing he taught me it is how to be selfish!! I HAD to learn it, or I’d’ve died. So those of us who have endured this kind of abuse and have gotten out and are safe have also gone through a most amazing initiation into almost sorcery or shaman like skillfullness. I can see things now, know things, and am very very discerning. And I get to choose good for the truth of it, not for that pitiful needy excuse for a human being.

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  13. Great Post Paula, I remember the first time I saw JSB temper. I told that I was going to work with a friend/associtate of his to help him produce a show. He had a hissy fit, which I didn’t understand because “we” had taken a meeting with this guy and “we” both thought the show was a great idea. I did not understand why he was so bent out of shape. You know what he told me< Well how are people going to know you as his producer or my manager? WTF–neither one was paying me at the moment. As it turns out the other guy was a flake as well but that is when I saw the flare of his temper, when I told him that I was going to work with the other guy whether or not he liked it!!!!! I look back on these moments and just laugh my butt off.

    ivonne

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  14. the father would switch like that all the time, one min. happy and laughing and the next angry rage, sometimes even at what we were both laughing at…it’s so confusing, scarey and walking on eggshells all the time…i know you know sadly.

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  15. As long as i was married to him, I was all good. He was certain my visits with my girlfriends of 20 years was just a cover for cheating…so he gave me “Permission”. He said “You can leave your wedding ring here. Enjoy yourself, and have a good time.” Absurd, right?
    But once we got divorced, I am all-bad. I’ve raised our children on my own, he left 3 years ago, and I’m worst mother according to him. Apparently, I always have been. I was a cheating whore of a wife while we married too. Who knew?!
    The way the switch seemed to flip is really scary.

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    • It IS frightening! Normal people don’t flip like that. And to think I was the one who was always called crazy and borderline. It’s truly a blessing that I discovered the truth and can finally stop blaming myself the way he blamed me. Nothing’s worse than having two people, yourself and the sociopath, beat you down. Let’s beat them down to reality, instead, for a change. 🙂

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  16. mine is a ‘reunited’ sister from adoption…all sweet and love, until you cross her, then you are dirt….and the two-faces kept coming..

    I love you, sister, but you are not a good mom, I love your children, but you & 2nd hubby can’t adopt, that’s bad and to show you that you are a bad mother I’ll call child abuse on you! Oh, what’s this, you MOVED away from me with your children…I’ll show you, another child abuse report.

    10 years go by…one afternoon visit, oh sister I love you, tell me about yourself, what’s new….but by evening you are a victim again of her slander, for she tells parent that you are in serious ‘mental health because of your religion’!

    6 years ago by…a letter arrives saying… I miss you and I know that so & so wants to make trouble for you..please call me. So you call and she screams at you and hangs up on you.

    6 more years go by…and you’d like to end the bitterness and call her. She LOVES YOU, etc etc. except….it’s all a big lie that you believed.

    5 years later you find out that SHE wrote a libelous book! and because you say ‘hey wait a minute this is JUST PLAIN WRONG….she declares OPEN WAR on you and everyone in the family!

    And I’m only one person in my family that has had this back and forth crap from one sick b….

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    • I thought of you as I wrote this, Gert. The dynamics are different, of course, when it’s not a romantic relationship. But the crazy-making is just as damaging and maddening.

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    • My sister. Found out she hated us all for years. She abused my parents to the point they had to move in with me. It amazed my how she could convince grown professional women to engage in open war…based on one side. Lots of people in and out of her life.

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  17. What I saw was the “all-good” became all bad in a heartbeat, and after that there was no redemption. No for me, and not for anyone else. He would marvel at someone….think that person was so smart, so wise, so great, so all knowing. Then that person would find him out and let it be known, or make a misstep. Then that person, and I include myself, was “out to get him,” just like everyone else in the world. Pity, pity…he needed pity. I ran out.

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