Share and pass along my latest Communities Digital news article: The Pistorius narcissist diagnosis: The experts got it wrong

The murder of Reeva Steenkamp and the Pistorius trial has really affected me, and I believe it has affected many, many of us. It all just feels too close to home — the text messages, the blaming, the shaming, the drama, the crocodile tears, the wrong diagnosis/misdiagnosis, and the frustration surrounding society’s “civil” need to consider this murderer’s defense.

Despite the closed-minded folks who refuse to listen to those of us who have lived this hell and instead rely on the inexperienced and money-driven experts, we need to let the world know how we feel about the conclusions being drawn and bring the focus back to proper awareness and education about pathology and the harm caused.

Does it matter what we call it? Psychopathy, sociopathy, narcissism?

No, because regardless of the source or cause of the individual’s behavior, the behavior harms and continues to harm and re-victimize the victims and everyone within range of the sociopath’s sphere of influence.

In the case of Pistorius, his sphere is the entire world thanks to the media coverage and his Olympic past and notoriety.

And our sphere of positive influence can be global, too.

People don’t go to the news anymore; news must come to them. That’s why it’s important to push any news story with narcissist, sociopath, psychopath in the title to your favorite, go-to social media feeds.

Please share my latest story on Communities Digital News, so it gets picked up by Google News. Tweet, Google+, Pin, Reddit, or whatever you like to do with stories you deem interesting or important.

Find me on Twitter. I follow everyone who follows me, and I also follow as many DV awareness pages and shelters and foundations that I can find in search: https://twitter.com/paulareeves821

We really can get the message out and our voices heard if we work together.



abuse, Cluster B disorders, CommDigiNews, domestic violence, Emotional Abuse, Narcissist, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Narcissistic Sociopath, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychopaths, PTSD, Rape, Recovery, Relationships, Sociopaths
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Join the conversation! 28 Comments

  1. a very good article… as for the “sociopath harming everyone around him and the drama he creates” :

    I am getting tired of hearing about “What do you think of the Oscar case”, “Doesn’t any attorney want to be as good as Gerrie Nel?” comments and the “Did you hear why Oscar shot Reeva was because she was pregnant, and the baby had legs and feet, that’s why he got mad and shot her”, and the New going to the toilet phobia for the fear of being shot jokes… and the Endless attention seeking schemes on Facebook where people write REeva’s mom poetry and even write how they prey for her……….and how the Media says that REEVA’s mother during interview confessed to how she feels her daughter’s spirit around her all the time and that she won’t rest until the case is finalised.

    It is all just such a superficial hype….people want to identify with it to sound smart but frankly to me they have become irritation, joining in on the drama. And I wonder if such a response to it, does not also come down to some type of sociopathy desiring attention feeding off the whole story.


    • I think you are wondering if Oscar enjoys the attention, even the bad attention. I would say it does. Much like my blog serves my ex’s ego. Otherwise, he wouldn’t come lurking about on it almost every single day curious about what I might say about him next. He’s probably getting aroused just from reading this very comment. 🙂


    • I don’t stalk my ex’s facebook, the ex I know and the spouse of said ex can stalk mine and I KNOW THEY DO……..just shows who is the real mental one….and who is really obsessed with who…i am waiting for them to come with their nonsense…….i wait patiently for them to show their true colours to the world being everything they accuse me of.


    • …. and they will show their colors… it’s inevitable…. they come out….. always does! Try to remove them from your thoughts…. don’t give them your time.


    • I, also, have to wonder why you waste your time reading them…… I’ve very interested in this case, yes, but even I never fall for the sensationalized titles of those articles you point out. Just don’t click on them, don’t read them — you are giving those journalists and the entity itself validation. Find yourself a good news source and stick there. And, if the news, in general, bothers you — just don’t ‘consume’ it. Oscar Pistorius is not innocent… and if that bothers you, don’t read any of those headlines. You will not be able to sway anyone your way by ranting or belittling others — just the opposite from what you’re wanting will happen. Peace! Let it go!


    • Good advice, Jeanie. I don’t read those headlines or comments or posts, either. I’m sure there are many who see “sociopath” in an article describing Pistorius and run from those, too. 🙂


    • uuhmmm i do not read them…the people I work with bombard me with it, even my family when i come home form work …….


    • I can certainly understand your frustration if you live in South Africa. I also know it’s not easy to ignore members of your household, especially if they have a differing view point. But, they must be interested, so you may just have to nod for a few moments that their points are valid — all points are valid, actually. Good luck with this one. I believe I get it now.


  2. I often wonder, if this story were reversed and it was a Reeva who shot Pistorious, would she have been given as much press coverage (or more)? Would she have been given the benefit of claiming “I’m disordered” “insecure” etc… Would she have been granted such leniency?

    I doubt it!

    This is patriarchy at it’s best.

    The sad fact is, most women live in fear – on various levels.

    For example: I work in the city and commute in/out via the train. Occasionally I have to stay late and ride the later trains home. I also walk to/from my home/train station 5 days a week which is 1 mile; 2 miles round trip. When I ride those later trains are my senses heightened? You bet. When I walk home in the dark, are my senses heightened? You bet.

    Whether we recognize it or not, we women live in various states of fear and who is it that we fear: mostly men.

    I rarely fear being attacked by a woman, even though it could happen. I generally fear being attacked by a man.

    Men have had power over us for far too long and this court case is egregious display of patriarchy and misogyny.

    Sorry — I’m ranting without a point. 😐


  3. Hi Paula-

    Thanks for driving home the importance of this case. Just posted it on my facebook page. Here’s my comment-


    Jerry Sandusky, (Penn State sexual molester,) also used a defense strategy based on Character Disorder. He was convicted despite the belief that, indeed, he was a character disordered individual. The concept of “disorder” is not that it is an illness, but rather, that it is normality for the person in question. It is flawed morality, not a flaw in the thinking process. And because disordered people do, in fact, know the difference between right and wrong, they make a conscious choice to do wrong, and thereby knowingly, convey harm and are accountable for their actions.

    The self-image of a Narcissist is two dimensional. It is a flat reflection coming back at them without the “rounding out” of the third dimension that the world perceives from their behavior. The experts are correct in Pistorius being “insecure,” as are all Narcissists. That’s why they engage in grandiose schemes to protect their image. Not everyone who is insecure, however, is a Narcissist….. just the ones who also lack empathy, remorse and conscience. Pistorius seems to possess all the traits that exemplify Narcissism.


    • Thank you, Joyce! Yes, I find it egregiously inaccurate for them to claim he is insecure, yet, despite all of the other behavior patterns, NOT find him to be narcissistic. Boggles the mind. I’ll check out your post on FB.


    • Wasn’t REEVA also a narcissist?


    • Nothing shared about her back story would indicate that to me. She was a model, yes. She was interested in looking good, yes. But, in my opinion, she displayed a healthy level are narcissism called self-appreciation and self-love. But who am I to come to that conclusion? I don’t even know her. 🙂


    • I believe she used Oscar in the same way he used her……each to their own…it is exactly these types of relationships that is based on TWO SOCIOPATHIC personalities, leading to a disaster in the end….those who seek superficial relationships will get what they deserve… Just as I don’t mind my ex being in the relationship with another psychopath…….they deserve each other…and I wish them a very long long life together….where they can grate and pester each other to the very end.


    • I don’t believe Reeva Steenkamp was a sociopath or a narcissis. I’ve not seen data to that. You are entitled to your opinion, of course, but without you breaking it down for me and sharing why you came to that conclusion, you have stalled our exchange. My opinion is that Reeva was a selfless person – I believe the term is altruism- the principle or practice of concern for the welfare of others. My opinion can be veiwed on utube as well as in other videos and interviews. My opinion is that Reeva and Oscar were dating each other because they were attracted to each other. They were equals, of sort, being that both were celebrities even though she was upcoming, she very well was headed in that direction. Reeva was where she was in life on her own merits – not anything Oscar supplied to her. People gravitate to each other because they have commonalities and I see that in their attraction for each other. I’m sorry, I just don’t see it your way, at the moment.


    • I agree with you, Jeanie. Reeva was a well-educated and successful woman who worked hard to accomplish what she had accomplished. She had a passion. Not everyone in the spotlight and media is a narcissist. Many are simply filled with healthy confidence and drive. There is a difference.


    • I’ve only read good things about her and really not much of that was from her family. Those who worked along side her in the reality show were broken hearted. I agree with you. She was very accomplished. Where Oscar was accomplished because because of his physical abilities (misnomer, right?), Reeva was instead, accomplished intellectually and because of her beauty.


    • Interesting question and certainly not out of the realm of possibility. What is your resource? How did you come to your conclusion? There is a video or possibly more than one that tells about her life. It’s been awhile since I watched it, but I do recall only good things told about her from teachers and others, about her thoughts and what she did and wanted to do. Honestly, I never saw anything that would have brought me to that conclusion or I never thought that and believe me, I’ve been ‘into’ this case. But, hey, I’m open to new conclusions. Send them to us…


    • I’m on the same page as you, Jeanie.


  4. Reblogged this on The left side and commented:
    A must read


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