Thank you, Melanie, for providing us with a a safe place to speak out and tel our stories. You rock! Namaste! ~Paula

Deliberate Donkey

Twenty-three years ago at the age of 18, I was strangled, kicked, beaten, smothered, had my life threatened and my family’s life threatened and had a gun held to my head.

The perpetrator was my then 18-year-old boyfriend.

I didn’t come from poverty or ignorance (and even if I did, it shouldn’t matter). I was an honors student. I earned a merit scholarship to college. I was an athlete. I had a loving family and lots of friends who liked me and whom I liked. I thought my boyfriend was a good guy. He had friends who liked him. I liked him, as well…at first.

I was too afraid to tell my father about what this boy did to me. I was terrified that my father would end up killing him and spending the rest of his life behind bars. I opted not to tell my father or my mother.

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Join the conversation! 11 Comments

  1. Thanks for turning me on to a new blog!


  2. Paula,

    I am not sure how to start my writing?
    I was abused by a supposedly loving uncle from age 3 approx. until 7 approx., had an emotionally distant father, was bullied by my brother & beaten. Married a dysfunctional man, gambler, drunk & verbal abuser, systematically destroyed over 19 years until he walked out & left me with nothing. Then I rebounded into the arms of a Soc for 10 years hmmm so, where do I begin? That’s just a snippet!
    Here I am recovering the pieces bit by bit & sticking them back together & have a greater self awareness but, how do I start to tell the story?
    Any advice would be appreciated. I am in Australia so, cannot contact you via your site except here.

    Love & Light 🙂

    PR xoxo


    • PR, you just started! This comment is a start. It’s your summary for what to write. There is no formula or perfect way to get it out there. As you write, even more puzzle pieces will fall into place and the order and organization will take shape organically and naturally. ❤


    • Thank you Paula 🙂

      Once I write it what should I do, blog it or what do you suggest?
      I appreciate your help 😉


    • I think you should share it in any way you feel comfortable. Blogging it on your own blog would be just as freeing and helpful as asking another blogger to publish it for you. You’ll know once you’ve written your story how and where and with what frequency you want it shared. ❤


    • Thanks Paula, I will do that 🙂

      Love & Light always 🙂

      PR xoxo


  3. Wow Paula,

    Thankyou for your voice & like you I will tell my story & speak out against my abusers.
    It’s the only way to bring such violations like the Sociopath experience out into the open because, it is such a misunderstood abuse & hidden by so many 😦
    I will no longer protect my abusers as it only passes the baton to the next victim.
    Continued strength to you for your courage to speak your truth & stand up for your convictions.

    Love & light 🙂
    PR xoxo


  4. I am sitting at my desk in my bedroom and I just finished reading your post on Melanie’s page. No sooner I posted my comment, I turned my head to the right and what book is sitting in the pile of crap I pulled out to go through for a yard sale next week…Night by Elie Weisel. So bizarre but proves we’re all connected in someway.


    • Yes! Not bizarre at all! Since beginning of this journey, I have learned that there are no coincidences, and we truly are connected. ❤


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