Since becoming aware of and accepting the reality of what struck me when in the relationship with the sociopath, the boy in my story, I try making decisions related to telling more of my story based on what I may or may not regret.
So when I was contacted this week by a researcher interested in interviewing me and learning more about my story for a new show on relationships to run on A&E’s Biography Channel, I hesitated to respond:
A.) I needed to run the idea passed my husband. He is ultimately affected by every decision I make related to telling my story. If he worries it will affect us negatively, I worry too.
B.) On the heals of my HuffPost Live appearance, I was feeling defeated and couldn’t help but ask, “Is continuing to speak out worth the stress and regret when I get it wrong or when I do a half-assed job of trying to express myself?”
C.) Can I really do this? Do I have the resources and the time to dedicate to something like this? Just a few weeks ago I was writing about not writing as much about this subject matter.
I immediately texted my husband. He immediately responded with, “Go for it!”
So I am going for it. I have a phone interview later next week and will be provided with more details. Once I am able to share more, I will.
In the meantime, please let me know some of the major focus areas related to sociopaths and recovery from pathological relationships that you think should be touched upon if the show allows.
If it were not for the support of my family and friends and all of the wonderful people I have had the privilege of meeting through this blog, I wouldn’t have the confidence and motivation I have to keep trying.
One day soon, I wholeheartedly believe, the words sociopath, psychopath, relational harm and pathological love will be understood by the majority and not over-used or misused like they are today.
Namaste! Peace and love!
(image source: http://pinterest.com/pin/46302702388466751/)
I find this comment about as insulting as asking a cancer patient what they did to get cancer.
It doesn’t matter how smart you are, how many degrees or certifications you earn or how old you are. There are no absolute parameters to protect anyone from being a potential victim.
If you have a conscience and are capable of empathy, you are a potential victim.
Sociopaths don’t announce themselves.
They don’t say, Hey, I’m going to make you think I am smart, intelligent and caring. Once I have you convinced we were born to be together, I’m going to start tearing you down. Why? Because I’m a piece of trash, and I’d like you to feel as worthless as I feel. Misery loves company after all. Your mind is going to become so confused. You will experience cognitive dissonance comparable to that of military combatants. You are going to love me and struggle with hating me. You are going to start thinking you deserve everything I put you through. Everyone is going to tell you to leave me, but you are going to stay because I’ll make you pity me. I’ve lived such a rough life. No one sticks around for long. I need love, too. Unfortunately, everyone leaves and abandons me in the end, because I have no idea what love is. I know how to hate and break down good people with ease. However, I have no interest in making them feel good about themselves (unless, of course, telling them gets me something like money, sex, power or advantage).
Would any of us give a person like this a second glance? No. Why? Because we aren’t stupid. We are smart and intelligent and filled with life experiences. We’ve been hurt in the past by relationships and are on the lookout to not get hurt again.
But even due diligence isn’t enough when dealing with a sociopath. They come to us very needy. That’s how they hook us.
They are depressed or stuck or in need of a person or group of people to lift them up. Good people fall for this victim role every. single. time. Don’t be ashamed that you fell for it. Be ashamed if you didn’t.
Having known and experienced a sociopath makes you and me and her and him stronger. We aren’t weak or foolish. We have experienced and survived the darkest side of humanity. Now we know it exists. Now we know anything is possible, including the existence of people without a conscience.
We may not recognize the sociopath at first in the future. But we will be less likely to allow sociopathic characters to infiltrate our lives the same way we allowed it in the past.
Knowledge really is power when it comes to protecting ourselves against pathology.
What’s that Who song? Won’t Get Fooled Again. Yeah. That’s my mantra.
Good morning! Namaste!