Always be inquisitive and watch sociopaths run in the other direction


Practice being the smart, caring and inquisitive person you were born to be, and eliminating sociopaths from your life will be that much easier!

It’s not cool to be an asshole. Sociopaths think they’re cool.

Sociopaths are so delusional, they think the rest of us are envious and wish to be bold and as straight forward as the sociopath is.

Do you think these are enviable and/or brave behaviors?

1. Lying to get what you want.

2. Crying crocodile tears to get sympathy…so you can get what you want.

3. Yelling profanities to get people to listen…so you can get what you want.

4. Shaming people into believing they’re bad and you’re good…so you can get what you want.

5. Stealing knowledge, ideas, resources and connections from others…so you can get what you want.

I don’t know about you, but in my book those are all indications that the person is lazy, cowardice, ignorant, childish, selfish, delusional and someone I wouldn’t want to call a friend let alone a spouse or significant other.

How can you be proud to stand next to someone who is a leech in every aspect of their lives?

>> Sociopaths steal from their parents, children, spouses/lovers and business partners.

>> Sociopaths would rather buy the Cliff’s Notes on life than wade through the tough parts and the good parts with equal interest and passion.

>> Sociopaths have zero creativity; their ideas about life and love are mere words stolen from true poets and artists. They are masters at clichés. They know them all! It’s quite something to listen to them talk about life with so many over-used platitudes and commonplace stock language. Sociopaths lack emotions and continuously betray themselves, unknowingly, with each passing conversation and protestation they attempt to invoke.

This is why sociopaths NEED us; we don’t need them.

More specifically, they need us to suspend our disbelief long enough so we become convinced the sociopath holds all of the answers.

Although sociopaths are unable to explain how they come to think what it is they spew, they can’t stop spewing it.

Sociopaths are so convincing with what they spew, we tend to just take what they say as having come from their own minds and thought processes.

(I’d put this up their as the #1 reason we stuck around longer than we should have; we trusted someone undeserving of our trust just because they sounded good.)

Once we start to question the sociopath, we’re immediately raged upon and accused of disrespecting the sociopath’s authority. And, more than likely, we become ashamed of ourselves for inciting such a reaction from someone who called us his soul mate and reason for living over breakfast just hours before.

In the words of Cher to Nicolas Cage in Moon Struck, “Snap out of it!!”

(You did. You have. You won’t go there again!)

Today, thankfully, we are all very discerning individuals. (We wouldn’t be participating in pages like this if we weren’t!)

We are smart and articulate and expect anyone and everyone who claims to be an expert to provide proof. Gone are the days that we’re going to blindly trust someone just because they are charismatic and appear well-studied and knowledgeable. We are no longer suckers in our public or our private lives.

Therefore, if we hear someone preaching, we will feel safe and comfortable asking, “Why should I consider what you have to say?”

An honest and passionate person will answer, “You shouldn’t,” because an honest and passionate person has learned that the door to thinking, living and understanding closes the moment we abandon our independent thought processes and instead, rely on others for answers.

The answers are inside you. Don’t let a sociopath (or anyone for that matter) scare you into thinking his answers WILL BE your answers or else. The second a person says, “You’re wrong for thinking that way,” you need to remember that it’s your thoughts that make you who you are. Your thoughts will guide you to your truth and to your imperfect but perfect self.

I’d rather live alone with my imperfect self than share a space with a delusional and controlling sociopath any day!


© 2013 Paula Carrasquillo and Paula’s Pontifications

Paula Carrasquillo Salvador Dali Perfect

Perfectionism and the perpetuation of abuse

Paula Carrasquillo Salvador Dali PerfectBeing a perfectionist is a tiresome way to be and it can lead to finding ourselves in relationships with others who criticize us repeatedly and incessantly, like narcissistic sociopaths.

When we emotionally abuse ourselves by demanding perfection in all we do, we run the risk of blindly accepting the emotional and verbal abuse from others. After all, we’ve been hearing those same “you’re not good enough” attacks most of our lives — from ourselves.

As perfectionists, when we hear criticisms of our choices and behavior coming from the sociopath, it seems normal and natural because we are already so hard on ourselves. What the narcissistic sociopath says simply reinforces our self-sabotaging thinking. We agree with the attacks, and we become more focused on being perfect to the point of losing sight of what is really happening in our toxic relationship. We don’t even question the abuse and control being inflicted upon us until it’s almost or often absolutely too late.

Fortunately, there is an easy fix to this. I believe that if we can stop emotionally abusing ourselves and turn off our need and quest for perfection, we will be more able to stop accepting emotional and verbal abuse from others. We’ll recognize it sooner as foreign and squash it like it’s a cold bug.

Many victims and survivors of pathological abuse from sociopaths and other Cluster B personalities think it’s enough to know how to spot these predators/abusive personalities. But that’s just step 1; there is a step 2 we must consider, because recognizing what an abuser “looks” like is not a guarantee that we will avoid getting sucked in by another one in the future.

Step 2: We must take a good hard look at ourselves and be willing to change our thinking and do the work to get there.

Perfectionism could be the thing about you that needs remedied. Are you a perfectionist? Are you ready to free yourself from this burden and start living in the beauty of realistic expectations and life?

You can read about my battle with perfectionism on Elephant Journal.

You can also learn about perfectionism and depression from Dr. Nicholas Jenner, a blogger and a counseling psychologist in private practice. He also offers cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and online counseling.

Namaste! Happy Saturday! ~Paula

My first article on Elephant Journal ~ “Letting go of perfect.”

Read the full article:
Letting go of perfect. ~Paula Carrasquillo

Letting go of perfect ~Paula Carrasquillo

source: Creative Commons by gnuckx

“Find the source of your perfectionism and open the door to your true potential.”

“Most of my adult life I was a perfectionist. I allowed myself very little wiggle room when it came to making mistakes. My perfectionism led to little mistakes becoming huge mistakes and little victories becoming completely diminished in my mind. I beat myself up over bad stuff and never gave myself any credit for the good stuff I created. Thankfully, I now understand the source of my destructive perfectionistic thinking, and it has made all of the difference in finding my path in life.” Read more…

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