What I Learned from Living Through Hell – The Narcissist Slayer Award and Nominees

Narcissist Slayer Award - Paula's PontificationsI’m a Narcissist Slayer. Narc Slayer for short. I know several other Narc Slayers. I bet you do, too.

Roughly two (2) years ago when I started actively writing on this blog about my experience with the boy in my story, I never imagined that one day I would be awarded with a Narc Slayer Award. But that day has arrived, and I couldn’t be more thrilled.

Kim, the very talented and insightful blogger over at Let me Reach with Kim Saeed, presented me (along with ten (10) other bloggers/Narc Slayers) with this honor on December 13. Thank you, Kim!

Check out her full post and the others she awarded.

Like all blog awards, I have a responsibility as a recipient. I must:

1. Thank the person who nominated me and link back to them. CHECK!

2. Place the award logo on my blog. CHECK!

3. Write a blog post and nominate other blogs for the award – there is no minimum or maximum number of blogs required to nominate. CHECK!

>> Deliberate Donkey

>> My Abandoned Self ©

>> Madeline Scribes

4. Inform my nominees on their site that I have chosen them for the honor. CHECK!

5. Share one positive thing I took away from my relationship with the Narcissist.

Well, crap! I can do 1 – 4 with relative ease. But #5 stings my eyes just reading the words. Something positive? Other than the fact that going through hell has given me a greater appreciation for all of the beautiful people and encounters I experience on a daily basis, the positives are best described as things I have learned as a result of the toxic relationship:

I learned how NOT to live and navigate this world.

I learned that I may make mistakes, but those mistakes do not have to define who I am forever and eternity. I’m allowed to change and be better without constant and repeated shaming.

I learned that love has always been abundantly present in my life. I was just too stupid and blind to recognize and appreciate it. (I love you, George!)

I learned that loving with my whole heart is possible and even more fullfilling when I am with those who also love with their whole hearts.

I learned that change is possible, real change, as long as I remember that falling down doesn’t mean something’s over; it means I get a chance to try again with greater insight and understanding.

I learned that love truly is patient and kind; but in order to receive it, I must really love and value myself first.

I learned that regardless of how alone and powerless I feel when it comes to any and all challenges life throws my way, there is someone, many someones, out here who feel as I feel and desperately do not want to feel alone either.

I learned that there is strength in numbers and anything is possible if I simply have faith…faith in myself…faith in my family…faith in my friends…faith in God.

I learned that I do believe in something greater than myself and that something is with me every day as long as I never stop believing.

I learned that judgment truly is the root of evil, and that judgment of others begins when we judge ourselves. I’m finding peace in just being and not judging.

I learned that stating facts and responses to how I was treated are not judgments and that silence only encourages evil and abuse to perpetuate, grow and fester.

I learned that injustices eventually “get served” and that good truly does triumph over evil. However, unlike the drama-fueled victories depicted in movies, real-world victories are far more subtle and happen unexpectedly. There’s no applause or obnoxious cheering, but there are many silent smiles and feelings of validation and accomplishment.

Above all, I learned that patience is my best friend. (I wish I had met her sooner!)

Namaste!
~Paula

© 2014 Paula Carrasquillo and Paula’s Pontifications

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