Survival story #15 – Ophelia’s story: Surviving a sociopath’s cruelty and mind games @commdiginews


October 15, 2014 – Ophelia’s story: Surviving a sociopath’s cruelty and mind games

BETHESDA, Maryland, October 15, 2014 — Ophelia* is a survivor of domestic violence and pathological abuse living, raising her daughter and energetically healing in The United States.

I waited until my 40’s and met a handsome doctor who was also an impressive musician and who seemed to have the same values and goals as I did. He lived in another state but drove to see me often, showered me with affection, attention, gifts, trips and fancy dates.

I loved who I thought he was, which I later realized he created by mirroring me. Because of this, I thought I had met my soulmate. He had children from a previous marriage, so I moved to be with him, where I knew no one. I got pregnant and jumped in with both feet and woke to discover I had married a sociopath. Read more...

Each day during the month of October, column author Paula Carrasquillo will feature a story written by a survivor of domestic violence. At the end of October, a compilation of all stories will be available for free as an e-book.

*All names have been changed to protect the survivor and the survivor’s family and friends.

The narcissistic sociopath’s game of cat and mouse

Cat and MouseThe cat and mouse game of the narcissistic sociopath: either give up or try to escape. Better yet, give up so you can escape.

The thrill a sociopath gets from controlling his victim through gas lighting, the silent treatment, projection, raging, and other forms of mental, verbal, emotional, and physical abuse is like a cat playing with a mouse: once the mouse gives up and surrenders, the cat looks confused and then walks away. The thrill is gone!!!

Mouse: “So, you spent all of that time wearing me down only to walk away once I started behaving exactly as you wanted me to behave?”

Cat: “Actually, I never wanted you to comply with all of my demands. I never wanted you to lie down and take it. It was much more fun and satisfying to watch how pissed off you became with each bat of my paw and to watch you try to run off just to have me bat you back with my other paw. When you stopped resisting, I got bored. It’s no fun controlling something that’s so willing to be controlled and compliant.”

The next time you find yourself backed into a corner and put on the defensive, remember that fighting back is exactly what your abuser desires. The more you scream and cry and scratch and push back, the more abuse the sociopath will inflict.

Surrendering is not easy for strong-willed people. But there comes a time when you must learn to reserve your energy for positive outcomes like planning your escape.

Remember, the narcissistic sociopath has the same motivations as any schoolyard bully: the more you cry and shout and beg him to stop, the more excited he is to continue tormenting you.

The victim/survivor holds ALL of the power. Use it for goodness sake!!!


%d bloggers like this: