No Need to ‘Stoop to Conquer’ the Sociopath

No need to Stoop to Conquer the SociopathThe biggest lie Sociopaths tell is to themselves about themselves.

Sociopaths “honestly” think they are superior and better than others and feel entitled to treat people any way they wish to treat them as long as it benefits the sociopath.

The Sociopath will kiss the ground that his current supply/girlfriend/boss/social group walk upon until they serve no material benefit or purpose.

And every other person that crosses the Sociopath’s path will also be looked upon as a means to an end:

>>The waitress
>>The bartender
>>The police officer
>>The lawyer
>>The Judge
>>The social worker
>>The department store clerk

The Sociopath will use his charms in the moment to get the best results he feels entitled to receiving. He’ll smile to their faces and call them morons behind their backs. And these people are so unsuspecting of the Sociopath’s evil and despicable intentions that they WILL grant the charming Sociopath exactly what he desires.

We can’t defeat these charming assholes at their own game. Why would we want to?

When we try battling them at their own game, we are stripped of our morals and ethics, and we end up becoming more and more distraught and guilt-ridden at OUR behavior.

(I did this. I don’t wish anyone to experience what I experienced.)

Sociopaths want us to stoop to their level. It validates them. Let’s not do that. Let’s, instead, leave them on their island at the center of their world. It’s where they think they belong, anyhow, so let’s give it to them. Let’s just leave them alone and go about our lives.

Let’s nurture our conscience, our empathy, our care, our joy and our love for all living things. Let’s step away from the hate. It’s not really the Sociopath that we hate, anyhow. It’s the continued injustice of never getting justice for the despicable acts the Sociopath inflicted upon us.

What we actually feel for the Sociopath in the end is NOTHING. A NOTHINGNESS. And NOTHINGNESS is difficult to process, but it’s possible. We just need to stay focused on ourselves and the people in our lives who bring us true joy, connectedness and hope.

There is no hope for the Sociopath, but there is unlimited potential for ourselves.


© Paula Carrasquillo and Paula’s Pontifications, 2012 – 2013.

(image source:

Armando and Paula

Letting Go of our Desperate Need for Justice

After leaving the sociopath, I fought my anger related to the injustices against me and, in particular, my son.

After about 18 months, I was able to finally let go of the abuses against me, because I understood that the sociopath could not help himself. Causing harm is what feeds the sociopath. Making people doubt their worth and goodness gets them off. I accepted that and realized the sociopath was not a person I would ever want back in my life or my family’s life. I knew I would never receive an apology or anything close to justice. So, I let go.

But letting go of the abuses against my son has been more difficult.

How do you explain to a child that the treatment against the child was not the child’s fault but the fault of a sick and twisted human being?

As parents, we are supposed to teach our children about love and forgiveness. We are supposed to be models for our children.

How was I to expect my son to forgive the sociopath if I did not forgive the sociopath? After all, only people worthy of love and friendship deserve our forgiveness. If a relationship was built on quicksand, there is no foundation for personal forgiveness, in my opinion. And generally, forgiveness means we understand that the person who committed the offense against us will never commit that same offense against us in the future. We trust the person.

With a sociopath, there is no trust, so there is no forgiveness.

But I was able to forgive myself for putting my son in harm’s way, for exposing him to the darkest human type in existence.

I apologized a lot to my son. I talked to my son about trust and expectations of those who love you. I talked to him about shame and blame.

But I also held back from telling my son the truth about the sociopath. Can a 5-, 6- or 7-year-old really understand that kind of evil? Do children have the capacity, without the life expereince, to understand evil among us?

My son knows I wrote a book. He can read and has read the title, but he doesn’t know it’s about “Mommy’s” experience. One day he will read my book and have lots of questions…or maybe he won’t.

Maybe by the time he is able to sit down and read my book cover-to-cover he will have completely forgotten about the sociopath and that the sociopath is the boy in my story.

My son’s forgetting would be the ultimate justice.

Peace! ~Paula

(with my son on his 2nd birthday)

WTF?: Maryland State’s Attorney’s office protects “intimate” rapists

Dude, WTF?The Washington Times Communities
Maryland State’s Attorney’s office protects “intimate” rapists.

Help Angela and other rape victims receive the justice they deserve. We need to empower ourselves to be heard and not fear speaking out against this evil. There is something wrong with a society that keeps blaming the victim and forcing the victim to change and forcing the victim to prevent crimes against them from happening.

A crime has been committed, and it seems the perpetrator is getting off in more ways than one. WTF is wrong with us?

The Washington Times Communities: Maryland State’s Attorney’s office protects “intimate” rapists.

Maryland prefers prosecuting “stranger” rape. And torturing and killing cats is okay, too.

AngelaWarning: This post details an actual rape and may trigger victims/survivors and elicit strong emotions in everyone and anyone regardless of experience.

Sign the petition now!

If you think rape is only something that happens between people who don’t know each other, stop reading and go back to whatever it was you were doing. This petition won’t change your mind. So, save yourself time. Just stop reading now.

  • It seems Maryland doesn’t consider rape by a spouse or intimate partner to be a crime worthy of prosecution.
  • It seems Maryland thinks forcing your penis into your wife or girlfriend’s vagina or anus is intimacy.
  • It seems Maryland thinks such a case is too much of a “he said; she said” battle.
  • It seems Maryland thinks the burden of proof is too high even though there is a living victim and a living offender both available to provide testimony.
  • It seems Maryland doesn’t think 12 people would be convinced.
  • It seems Maryland thinks the victim is allowing the death (murder) of her cat to cloud her judgment.

It seems to me Maryland prefers to protect abusers and allow victims of domestic violence to “deal with it” and “get over it” and “move on.” I wonder what the Maryland Attorney General would think if this happened to one of their own?

Angela contacted me personally asking me to share her story and encourage everyone to sign her petition. She is the victim of a brutal rape and the owner of a cat allegedly tortured and murdered by her alleged rapist. She is seeking justice asking each of you to sign her petition so her alleged rapist can be judged by a jury of his peers and NOT by the office of the Maryland Attorney General in Montgomery County Maryland located in Rockville, Maryland.

This petition will be delivered to:
Douglas Gansler, Maryland Attorney General
Sherri Koch, Assistant State Attorney

Sign now! Maryland Attorney General: Put Angela’s rapist on trial

Angela, 33, was brutally raped, both orally and anally, by her then boyfriend. Her account is below.

He grabbed my head and forced his penis into my mouth. Previously he had rammed his penis into my anus as I screamed in agony. After he repeatedly raped me, he commented that we had more sex that week than we had in a long time.

Angela found the courage to report her rapes to local police. However, her attempts to seek justice have been put on hold, as Maryland State Attorneys are unwilling to put Angela’s rapist on trial. They typically only prosecute ‘stranger’ rapes and have moved to dismiss the case.

This is not good enough. According to RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), approximately two thirds of rapes were completed by someone known to the victim. There should be no impunity granted to men who rape women under the guise of a relationship.

We call on the Maryland State Attorneys to proceed with a trial and give Angela a chance of seeing justice.

This could happen to your daughter, your granddaughter, your sister, your mother. Would you want the accused brought to justice? Sign the petition. Bring a rapist and animal abuser and murderer to trial. Let his peers make the decision, not a bunch of people in suits who seem bothered by this business of protecting an innocent woman and others in similar situations.

Sign the petition now!

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