I find this comment about as insulting as asking a cancer patient what they did to get cancer.
It doesn’t matter how smart you are, how many degrees or certifications you earn or how old you are. There are no absolute parameters to protect anyone from being a potential victim.
If you have a conscience and are capable of empathy, you are a potential victim.
Sociopaths don’t announce themselves.
They don’t say, Hey, I’m going to make you think I am smart, intelligent and caring. Once I have you convinced we were born to be together, I’m going to start tearing you down. Why? Because I’m a piece of trash, and I’d like you to feel as worthless as I feel. Misery loves company after all. Your mind is going to become so confused. You will experience cognitive dissonance comparable to that of military combatants. You are going to love me and struggle with hating me. You are going to start thinking you deserve everything I put you through. Everyone is going to tell you to leave me, but you are going to stay because I’ll make you pity me. I’ve lived such a rough life. No one sticks around for long. I need love, too. Unfortunately, everyone leaves and abandons me in the end, because I have no idea what love is. I know how to hate and break down good people with ease. However, I have no interest in making them feel good about themselves (unless, of course, telling them gets me something like money, sex, power or advantage).
Would any of us give a person like this a second glance? No. Why? Because we aren’t stupid. We are smart and intelligent and filled with life experiences. We’ve been hurt in the past by relationships and are on the lookout to not get hurt again.
But even due diligence isn’t enough when dealing with a sociopath. They come to us very needy. That’s how they hook us.
They are depressed or stuck or in need of a person or group of people to lift them up. Good people fall for this victim role every. single. time. Don’t be ashamed that you fell for it. Be ashamed if you didn’t.
Having known and experienced a sociopath makes you and me and her and him stronger. We aren’t weak or foolish. We have experienced and survived the darkest side of humanity. Now we know it exists. Now we know anything is possible, including the existence of people without a conscience.
We may not recognize the sociopath at first in the future. But we will be less likely to allow sociopathic characters to infiltrate our lives the same way we allowed it in the past.
Knowledge really is power when it comes to protecting ourselves against pathology.
What’s that Who song? Won’t Get Fooled Again. Yeah. That’s my mantra.
Good morning! Namaste!