The Sociopath Cocktail: Entitlement with a Splash of Delusion

gatsbyEntitlement is dangerous. Entitlement mixed with delusion is lethal. Sociopaths are lethal.

Entitlement is when a person believes he has the right to own or possess any “thing” or any “person” he desires. An entitled person believes his mere existence qualifies him as unique, special and somehow more deserving than others and above all laws and moral codes.

Sociopaths believe they are entitled.

Entitled sociopaths do not work or strive for what they have. They simply take it.

But the sociopath will argue that he does deserve what he has and what he takes. The sociopath will argue that he earned everything. He will argue that he worked long and hard to get what he has.

And the entitled sociopath is often very convincing in his arguments. Entitled sociopaths are good at justifying their con games. Entitled sociopaths believe that the art of arguing and conning people is synonymous with working hard.

How wrong could they be!?!?

Sociopaths are preposterous and delusional to believe they are somehow entitled to take everything they covet and desire. This kind of entitled thinking begets greater and greater delusions and results in the sociopath exerting greater and greater control over others in hopes of convincing others of the sociopath’s delusions.

The sociopath’s ultimate goal is to make you as delusional as he is. You must think as he thinks.

Why?

Well, for starters the sociopath can’t stand being surrounded by people who have independent thoughts. The sociopath is threatened by the creativity and ingenuity of others. If it doesn’t serve to propel the sociopath in status or reverence, the creativity and ingenuity of others is without purpose to the sociopath. He must be surrounded by people who think just as he thinks to feel complete and whole and powerful.

Once you become zombie-like and convinced of the sociopath’s delusions, the sociopath becomes that by which you measure all others. And once you start measuring all others against the sociopath’s delusions, a funny and ironic thing happens to your brain:

You become rewired to think that non-delusional people, people you once admired and respected, are the delusional ones and that the sociopath is completely sane and reasonable. You become convinced that the sociopath’s entitlement is justified and all others are simply too jealous or too stupid to understand.

“No wonder those people don’t like the sociopath! They’re just super jealous of the sociopath! Makes total sense now!”

Sociopaths are often successful in exerting their will onto us and making us zombie-like through influence and control. The greatest tool the sociopath has in his bag of tricks is his ability to invalidate us. The sociopath invalidates us with subtle language, suggestions and passive-aggressive behaviors:

  • You’re just not thinking clearly right now. Soon you will see things the way I see things.
  • Have you given enough thought to that idea you have? It seems you haven’t thought this through.
  • You’ve clearly been damaged by someone in the past. No wonder you don’t trust me. No wonder you lash out at me.
  • How could you be doing this again? Don’t you ever learn?

As soon as someone, anyone, begins using this type of language with you, be cautious about continuing the relationship. Better yet, don’t respond and stop engaging.

Unfortunately, it’s never that simple, is it? Our stubborn default is to become defensive. When confronted with a sociopath’s attempts to invalidate us, we seek answers and ask questions like:

  • Why would you say such a thing?
  • How could you think such things of me?
  • I thought you cared about me. I thought you thought I was smart.

These questions simply validate the sociopath’s invalidation of you, because if you have to question the question, you must be confused by what you believe to be real. And that’s exactly what the sociopath will keep asking you, too:

If you have to ask me, you must not understand what I’m saying. Let me explain it again.

(Oh, and he’s so sweet about it too, isn’t he? So helpful and open, huh? Pfft!)

And each time the sociopath re-words the same points, you continue to have the same questions. Why? Because it doesn’t make sense to your logical and free-thinking mind. Forcing someone to think just like you has never been a goal. So being confronted by a person who needs you to think just like him makes no sense. It goes against who you are and your understanding of the world. It causes confusion and even makes you question yourself. And once you start questioning your beliefs and measuring them against the sociopath’s beliefs, you’ve been caught in the web.

Ask yourself:

  • Am I confident in my abilities?
  • Do I really believe I am worthy of feeling the way I feel about life?
  • Am I convinced that I am just as important as the next person?

(The answer to these questions must be “yes.” If not, you have some work to do.)

If confronted by a sociopath, you must believe in yourself and your ability to be you. Otherwise, you’ll end up getting intoxicated by the confusion the sociopath spins, and your life and what you once knew of yourself and how you once thought about the world will spiral out of control. You will lose yourself to the control of the sociopath, giving him total and complete access and control over your life, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Learn to love yourself completely and learn to spot and recognize language that invalidates so you know not to react or respond to it. By not reacting or responding, you disarm the sociopath and force the sociopath to go in search of someone willing to take the bait.

The more people willing to take the bait, the stronger the sociopath’s entitlement and delusions become.

We can’t really blame the sociopath for being so delusional and feeling so entitled, can we? Wouldn’t you feel powerful too if people changed their entire perception of the world just because you told them to change it?

Namaste!
~ Paula

© Paula Carrasquillo and Paula’s Pontifications, 2012 – 2013.

The covetous sociopath type: The boy to a “T”

Sociopath with a pacifierCOVETOUS SOCIOPATH, PSYCHOPATH, ANTISOCIAL PERSONALITY TYPEFeels deliberately deprived & denied, rapacious, very greedy, jealous, envious, begrudging, endlessly yearning, seeks retribution. Finds pleasure in actual taking more than having.

I have read, studied, researched, put to the test, and read some more on just about everything I can get my hands on related to narcissists and sociopaths. I spent 11 months (from late March 2011 to late February 2012) trying to disprove my own findings supporting the fact that the boy whom I escaped is a sociopath.

I did not want to believe I had fallen victim to such evil. I did not want to believe that I had introduced family, friends, and (most of all) my son to such a disgusting excuse for a human being. But I did. And the mental confusion and anguish took its toll.

In my research, I have focused on the branch of psychiatry known as social psychiatry. Social psychiatry studies the interpersonal and social/cultural context of the occurrences of mental disorders and well-being and uses training techniques and perspectives of fields such as social anthropology, social psychology, cultural psychiatry, sociology. (Social psychiatry contrasts with biopsychiatry which focuses on genetics, brain neurochemistry, and medication.) I’m not interested in “why” sociopaths exists as much as I’m interested in knowing where and how to spot them and avoid them at all costs.

To me, it is far more valuable for the non-mental health disordered members of a society (like me) to understand how to recognize the destructive and mentally disordered members of society (like the boy).  Delusional and mentally disordered individuals are incurable. They don’t even recognize they are majorly flawed. When a healthy person comes into contact with people like the boy, that healthy person soon becomes unhealthy and appears to be the “crazy” one because a healthy person reacts in the fight/flight/freeze mode to a mentally disordered person’s abnormal behavior. So, when a healthy person fiercely lashes out verbally at the unhealthy and abnormal behavior and communication strategies of a sociopath, we are deemed the ones who are unstable. How convenient for the sociopaths like the boy, huh?

Case in point…

Christmas 2010. The boy and I went to Toys R Us to look for gifts for my son who was 5 at the time. We walked to the learning games section where Leapfrogs and similar products were stocked. Staring at the huge selection, I couldn’t remember if my son’s father had already purchased something I was interested in buying, so I looked at the boy and said, “I’m going to call his dad and see if he already bought this. Would you help me look for book XXX?” The boy nods with what I translate to be a “yes.” I dial my son’s dad on my cell and have a short and sweet conversation lasting less than a minute. Less. Than. A. Minute.

I put away my phone and turn to speak to the boy, but he’s not there. I go to the next aisle. He’s not there, either. I walk up and down the aisles in this section but can not find him anywhere. I walk to the front of the store toward the cash registers. (This is a HUGE Toys R Us.) I see the boy standing over by some dolls in the girl’s section.

I walk up to him frustrated and demand, “Why did you walk away from me? You said you would help me? What is wrong with you? I have been searching up and down the aisles trying to find you? What are you doing?”

In typical delusional fashion, the boy screams, “Don’t talk to me like that! I was looking for something for my niece. You have no right to talk to me like that!” Then he walks out of the store. I walk to the registers. I had toys to buy. I wasn’t dealing with the boy’s childish mind games.

I purchased my son’s gifts, walked to the car expecting to see the boy waiting there, but discovered he was nowhere in sight. I got into my car and drove around the shopping center, the nearby neighborhoods, and finally gave up looking for the boy and drove back to the boy’s house. I “wasted” more than 30 minutes in search of a grown man who was acting more like a 5-year-old than my 5-year-old.

I pull up to the boy’s house, park, and enter through the side door. What do you know?! He was sitting all cozy on his sofa with his dog on his lap licking himself. (The dog was licking himself, not the boy. Hehehe!) Hmmm?

I immediately scream at him that he shouldn’t just walk away and not tell someone where he is going. Silence. More silence. He continues to ignore me, giving me the silent treatment. I wanted to scream. I wanted to leave. I couldn’t take dealing with this fucker ignoring me and trying, in his silence, to punish me for his own childish behavior.

You see, he walked away from me in the store because he WANTED me to get upset with him and yell at him in order to accuse me of being hateful. But it was out of his own self-hatred that he projects onto me and my son that my disgust for his actions manifested. My attention was being taken away from him in the store when I called my son’s father. He HATED that I was focused so much on my son and buying gifts for my son. His narcissistic supply was drained that day, and he knew exactly how to get more. And he got it, just like a child who drops his pacifier and cries until someone comes along and gives it back to him.

I should have walked away from the boy’s demented life that day and left him to find another pacifier, another healthy woman to drain. But I waited a few more weeks.

(He never did buy a doll for his niece that Christmas, by the way. Another controlling distraction created by his delusional mind.)

(source: http://depressiond.com/sociopath-sociopathic-personality-disorder/)

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