in my honest opinion mug

Message to Sociopaths: IMHO, Sharing Your Crappy Opinion of Others Does not Equate to Being Honest

in my honest opinion mugBeing an opinionated jerk is not the same thing as being an honest person.

A sociopath will fog up the honesty window by telling you he’s honest to a fault:

“I always tell people what I think of them. I always give them my honest opinion about what they wear and what they eat and what they drink. What do you mean by saying I’m a liar?”

Telling people, unsolicited, what you think of them isn’t exactly the same thing as being honest about who you are and what your motivations are.

Telling people that you don’t like this or that about them is you being a smug prick. It’s not being honest with them.

Being honest with them would be:

“I hate this gift you gave me, because I really don’t like or care about you and don’t care if I hurt your feelings or not because you are nothing to me. Next year I won’t like the gift you give me, either, because I don’t like you. I just love seeing your disappointed look knowing I made you feel so disappointed about yourself.”

A Sociopath could never come right out and be 100% honest. Ever!

So don’t let these fools claim honesty by pointing to a time they were “honest” with you about something you said or did that they didn’t like.

Pfft!

That just proves they’re an asshole, and anyone can be an asshole on occasion, but not everyone can be honest about why they’re an asshole.

I’d love to hear a sociopath explain his asshole-ness to me. Wouldn’t you?

IMHO, sociopaths are disgusting, delusional jerks who go against all decency and righteousness. Why do I think that? I think that because I have witnessed, first-hand, how they have verbally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically caused harm to others and lack any remorse for doing so.

As victims and survivors, the closest we get to receiving an apology is more like an excuse:

“Well, it’s your fault. You knew I was like this from the beginning.”

My response to the boy in my story when I received the above excuse went something like this:

“No, I thought you were just an immature asshole who needed some life experience to see what an asshole you really are. I guess you like being a cocksucker, huh?”

(Needless to say, that response didn’t help bring peace to the situation.)

I take full responsibility. It was my fault for accepting the sociopath into my life. Shame on me for thinking he was human like the rest of us.

Good morning! Namaste!
~Paula

(image source: http://pinterest.com/pin/152629874841562497/)

The sociopath will be the death of you

Sociopaths will be the Death of Us…But Only If We Allow Them to Be

The sociopath will be the death of youLast week on my blog, a commenter disagreed with me. Let’s call that commenter Commenter X.

Commenter X disagreed with me for viewing narcissists/sociopaths/psychopaths as evil and unworthy of our time or attention. Commenter X wants to help these people because they are people after all.

I admire Commenter X. Commenter X has a blog and is highly intelligent and has had two unfortunate relationships with sociopaths/narcissists. (I’ll just call these people pathologicals moving forward. It’s easier.)

And because I admire her work and patience as a blogger and recognize that she is in the early stages of healing, I let her disagreement go. I understand that due to her super trait of having a conscience and being empathic leads her to continue looking upon pathologicals as normal and healthy and capable of long-term change like the rest of us. Only if someone would take the time to listen to them…

But we know that any change made by a pathological person is out of their sheer will to continue their con game one day in the not-so-distant future. We know that they will appear as humble and intelligent and understanding for a while. They’ll even do it with counselors. But they’ll especially do it with their new victim (new love interest) and anyone gullible and kind enough to give them equal footing in life along side us non-pathologicals.

Another blog follower wasn’t so gracious.

The following was a comment left by another blog visitor, let’s call this blog visitor Commenter A.

Commenter A proposes, in a sense, the creation of “Evil Island” with Commenter X as the caretaker. The rest of us non-pathologicals are lumped into the “meanie” bucket because we refuse to have any part in taking care of all those pathological losers while we live in ecstasy, far away from Evil Island…


Commenter X, I’m so glad for you! You are so open-minded and thoughtful of psychopaths! You are just the sort of person we are looking for. Now, since you’re so up for it, we are gonna start protecting the non-psychopaths with education, free genetic testing etc. and we are gonna give them a chance to live in a society free of these people, if that’s their choice.

We are gonna start places for psychopaths as well, and we’d like to hire you.

Now, you will live with only people like yourself (those who think being positive and loving can help or cure psychopaths) and then the psychopaths themselves, and once you agree to this job, you will not be able to go back. You can choose to foster or adopt children who are genetic psychopaths. You will be completely responsible and completely to blame for them, just like the natural parents who unfortunately (unlike you), didn’t have the chance to know it was nothing more than a genetic/chromosomal trait, but you will have the advantage upfront and I’m sure your unconditional love will fix them. I mean science can prove that they will never feel love, empathy, shame, guilt, gratefulness etc. (so you will never get any gratitude for your efforts), but you will be able to show those meanies who have been so abused by psychopaths that if THEY were only as thoughtful as you are, they could have such good results!

Bear with us as we know that YOU know that each psychopath is different and that some are aggressive or sneaky and/or creepy, but I have the utmost confidence in your capabilities. 

Day after day, year after year, with all blaming you, including you in the guilt of the problems of the child, I’m sure that you will not give up and say that there is no help for these people or ever regret your decision to blame the victims and not weep for them instead. Perhaps you would like to have several of these children. Never mind that they all know curse words without ever hearing them, they also seem to have the know-how to molest at a young age even when they’ve never been molested, so you may have your hands full keeping safe from this.

You also know that psychopaths can work together and gang up on a person, and it usually happens to be the one person who can feel emotions such as love etc. So, you could end up being gang-raped emotionally etc. by young children. I’m sure you will find a way to justify it.

But again, you will only be with those like yourself and psychopaths. There will be no others who have been damaged by evil psychopaths and KNOW the torment they inflict and who will then be able to help you heal. Oh no. These mean people will be together, learning to love again, knowing that all they live with know the truth about psychopathy and know that because science REFUSED to admit it was nothing more than another birth effect, denied them the right and choice to get involved with or to get away from psychopaths. They will be glorying in each new day, each new sound and thought, now that they aren’t forced to pretend that all are born as a blank slate. They will have the chance to find out who they were created to be because all will know that each person is born with inherent traits and temperaments and we are not trying to force everyone into the same mold, (which psychopaths have little problem with as they ALWAYS believe they are unique).

The meanie society will know that some psychopaths use whatever the social norms are in order to present the facade of normalcy, all the while violating it in every way. (That, depending on the type of psychopath they are, they may choose to be the most conventional looking people on the outside, but on the inside they are sizing everyone up to see their weak spots and exploit them. Or they may be sexual deviants who love raping in broad daylight.)” 

“We don’t know for sure how these separate societies will turn out in the end, but we can guess that when psychopaths know that those who are around them aren’t fooled by the mask they put on, well, I’m afraid that they may not even bother with social norms. As they always think others are stupid, weak and worthless (ESPECIALLY non-psychopaths), so you may be raped and demeaned or killed right away. We’ll see how it all plays out though.

Oh, don’t forget, the pay is GREAT! (Non-psychopaths who unknowingly, due to science refusing to let them know the truth, are often financially, emotionally and physically destroyed for life).

Again, you will not be able to leave once you’ve made the choice (just like parents who were never given this as a choice when their child was born a psychopath, or a spouse who kept being thrown back into the ring by therapists who never told them their mate could be a psychopath etc.) as these are all the things that were foisted off on those of us who, too late, discovered the truth.

No worries. You sound like someone who, through the sheer force of your convictions, can solve ALL of life’s little problems. (I’m sure this is after years of abuse by a psychopathic mate, child or parent. And with all telling you that you’re part of the problem.)

Does this sound mean? Well, Commenter X, this is EXACTLY WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU CLAIM TO BE A “BETTER PERSON” because you are so accommodating to psychopaths. Have you been having your boundaries violated since birth? I doubt it as you sound like you have some reserve, like you’ve been perhaps loved or listened to by at least one person in your life. I’m sure because you’re so smart and so educated on psychopathy that you realize that many people raised by psychopaths and alongside psychopathic siblings, have NEVER been loved or helped or believed and guess what (this should come as no surprise to you as you are the expert), that these people are now more susceptible to psychopaths, so they are abused for years.

Now, because psychopathy is genetic and runs in families and oftentimes these are families of religious and don’t allow or encourage birth control, and because these religious people hang out together, they also intermarry or force their children to intermarry and voila! You have families of mostly psychopaths, societies of large amounts of psychopaths, so the few non-psychopaths are taught to feel that it is THEM that are wrong or odd or different. 

I’m SURE Commenter X, that YOU YOURSELF are NOT a psychopath, and since you’re not, you can feel empathy. Well, it’ll come in handy when you’re stuck with mostly psychopaths, as you will need this empathy for yourself.

Tired yet? I’m sure you aren’t, and don’t fret. The psychopaths won’t really CARE if you’re tired nor will they CARE if you gave up your life/ career/ hopes for the future/ meaningful relationships with others who could SHARE your love, YOU will get no rest or recourse. 

You will be told you are lazy no matter that your fingers are bleeding from work. You will be told you are fat, ugly, dumb and worthless even though you may be deathly anorexic, still attractive (just superficially as your soul will be destroyed, oh what the hell, you’ll end up looking like you’re fifty when in actuality, you’re only twenty!), and have several college degrees.

Although you gave up all, you will be considered rubbish in the psychopath’s eyes.

Now, I’m sure none of this is not a problem for you as you really have it on the ball. So, might I suggest that you get a good rest (perhaps a holiday), before you sign your life away? 

You are at least armed with the knowledge and genetics of psychopathy (unlike those of us forced into these relationships due to birth families, children, non-education about psychopathy, and people like you who denied us the ability to learn the truth about them or speak about it afterwards), so you will go in equipped with this knowledge.

I doubt you’ll be able to see my point as people like you really buy your own crap. Os Guinness wrote in one of his books about evil, that it’s usually the philosophers who lose their ideals first, when faced with the truth of evil. (I think he was talking about the Nazi prison camps but you are too smart to learn from the wisdom of others.) 

You sound like the perfect contender for our proposal. So what do you think, Commenter X? 

(See, all your bull**** ideals ONLY WORK if there are people who CAN feel empathy around you, otherwise all your crap is just that, a big pile of BULL****. Good luck though. You’re a treasure!)

~Commenter A


(image source: http://pinterest.com/pin/202028733253757983/)

The Top 5 Reasons to Date a Narcissistic Sociopath

Top 5 Reasons to Date a Sociopath

You’re probably asking yourself, “Really, Paula?!?! What the F&%* has gotten into you? Have you gone nuts on us?”

No. Not exactly. However, I have gone nuts listening to the same justifications over and over again from victims as to why they won’t leave or think they can “fix” their abuser.

Once and for all, “YOU CAN’T FIX A PERSON WHO DOESN’T WANT TO BE FIXED!”

I realize it’s not a simple thing to escape or leave your partner. I understand. But I also understand that if we don’t start changing our way of thinking while we’re in the hell that the narcissistic sociopath has created, we will never get out of it. We will just fester, lose ourselves, and eventually die with lots of regrets.

This post is for all of the men and women who think it’s more compassionate and human to stay with their abuser.  Who hold out hope for a better future, because they don’t want to give up on someone. Who need to take a good hard look at where they are and what they have or will become.

The Top 5 Reasons to Date a Sociopath

1. You never have to speak.

We all have trouble expressing ourselves and sometimes we just wish we didn’t have to make a case for why we think the way we think. It’s grueling on our brains and can cause headaches for some of us.

In a relationship with a sociopath, you’ll quickly learn that you don’t need to use your brain anymore. It’s really a moot exercise that goes something like this:

While sharing your most intimate feelings and your best ideas with your sociopathic partner, he’ll sit there seemingly listening while he nods, grunts “a-hem, a-hem,” and rubs his hands together in anticipation for you to hurry up and shut up. As soon as you finish your sentence, he’ll says, “Well, but you’re wrong. It’s actually X, Y, and Z; not A, B, and C.”

And it doesn’t matter what the topic, you will always be wrong. (Unless it’s knowledge or experience you have that he wants to suck from you. Just don’t ever expect a “Thank you” for your free lessons. Sociopaths take with impunity.)

If you’re in a relationship with a sociopath, it doesn’t matter what you think or say. The sociopath isn’t going to listen to you anyhow, so you may as well stop.

2. You never have to change.

Those 10 pounds you’ve been wanting to lose? Keep ’em! That class you wanted to take in hopes of helping your career? Stop worrying about saving up for it. Why? Your sociopath likes you just the way you are, the way you were when he spotted you and set his sights on ensnaring you. The idea that you would want to improve yourself when you are already so “perfect” is absurd to the sociopath.

Change is a dirty word to the sociopath. Change means you are spending time doing something that doesn’t involve pampering and tending to his needs. Only his self-improvement, reputation, and goals matter. Find out what your sociopath wants to accomplish and help him grow and change. Your self-improvement is completely unnecessary.

You can finally breathe a sigh of relief knowing you don’t have to bother with all of the hard work that goes into being successful and accomplished. You can feel completely content being a sub-par human. It’s not like anyone would notice improvements anyhow, right? Pfft!

3. You never have to make hard choices.

Decisions. Decisions. They’re pesky little buggers, huh? If you’re lucky enough to be in a relationship with a sociopath, he’ll make those decisions for you. No need to worry your pretty little head about making any for yourself, okay?

The sociopath knows what’s best for you after all. And he will tell you often what’s best for you. It’s quite amazing how much he knows after only knowing you for a short time, too. It’s like you are soul mates or something and you’ve been waiting for him to come and save you from being burdened by all of these tough choices and decisions.

4. You never have to make new friends (and you can forget about old ones!)

Maintaining healthy relationships with friends and families can be a burden sometimes. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I just want to turn off my ringer and not listen to my sister complain to me or to my best friend tell me about another argument she had with her husband. Another exhausting part of life I would like to do without on occasion.

Enter your sociopathic partner to the rescue! Thanks to him, you will never have to worry about that again.

Your sociopath will single-handedly make all of your friends and family members disappear. In record time. It’s like magic, really. One day you’re getting calls from your mom, dad, sisters, and long-time friends; the next day you’ve got no one. (What a fucking relief, huh? They just drained you anyhow and expected too much of your time.)

But how did the sociopath accomplish what you never could with your friends and family? How did he get them to leave you alone for a change?

It seems your sociopath’s charm can be VERY selective when he puts his mind to it. He puts on a prince charming mask for you but a Darth Vader helmet for everyone else. No wonder you keep ignoring all the warnings your friends and family give you about him. You can’t see what they can see, and it is just how the sociopath likes it.

And now you have no more friends. It’s just the two of you. You and your sociopath against the world. Isn’t it so romantic?

5. You never have to love yourself.

The most difficult place to get to in life is a place of self-love. Self-love requires you to care for yourself, respect yourself, take responsibility for yourself, and know yourself. If you’re in a relationship with a sociopath, the struggle to find self-love is over, because the sociopath will strip away every last ounce of your spirit. You will be rendered spiritless, and it’s only with a spirit guiding us that we can journey toward the inner peace self-love provides.

Your sociopathic partner will convince you that you are worthless, shameful, and damaged. Through gaslighting, triangulation, projection, and manipulation, you will quickly be convinced that you are garbage.

You are a bad mother, a bad father, a horrible employee, a person in need of learning lessons. Everything you accomplished in life up until the time you met the sociopath means absolutely nothing. Why? Because it didn’t involve the sociopath.


Get a head start today. Go ahead! Delete your Facebook account. Delete your blog. Throw away pictures from your past. You are stuck with a sociopath who can’t be bothered with your tears, your hopes, your desires, or your ambitions. But most of all, he can’t be bothered with you behaving like you matter.

Do you matter? Of course you do! I don’t want you to give up on yourself. Please don’t give up on yourself.

Namaste!

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