February turned me inside out

“Opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves come when life seems most challenging.” – Joseph Campbell

The above quote captures what the month of February 2012 was for me…challenge upon challenge.

Most of my readers know that on February 1 I started (and will be finishing tonight!) a 30-day Bikram yoga challenge. Honestly, I don’t think I could have completed it without the help of my husband and son, who complained only slightly about my stinky-ness, sweaty-ness, and tiredness. (I’ll be preparing a surprise for them this weekend. They have NO idea!! wink, wink)

Also this month, my readers were aware that I started the process of having my tattoo removed. It’s been bitter-sweet but fairly painless. If you missed any entries, get caught up now!

However, you, my readers, were unaware that I received a VERY disturbing email mid-month (February 13) that challenged my spirit, my faith in humanity, and faith in my ability to act and react appropriately.

The exact details of the email are unimportant. Just know that reading the email instantly destroyed my memories and understanding of my recent past; it had the potential to destroy my marriage and relationship with my husband; and it made me doubt my current and seemingly healthy physical state. (The emotional effects? Pfft! ENORMOUS!)

So, how did I act and react? I turned to my creative side and did what I would like to think I do best… I wrote.

I wrote to the sender (to thank her and to acknowledge I received her generous disclosure), I wrote to the subject of the email (to let the Douche Bag know that I now know about something he lied about in hopes he’d provide an explanation or more likely, an excuse), and I wrote to myself (which I shared with my dedicated readers and followers on my The Story of a Sociopath site).

I also coped through having conversations with my family, friends, fellow bloggers, and most importantly, my husband. I was overwhelmed with their love and support and encouraging words and care. My husband was angry with me for many justifiable reasons. However, we kept the conversation going and threw blame out the window. He is no longer angry with me, but I’m not certain if I am 100% forgiven yet. Time will tell.

As for a returned correspondence from the Douche Bag? NONE! So, I wrote some more…to his mother and his new girlfriend (yes, the contents of the original email contained information she was privileged to know, in my opinion). Still nothing. Until I received a threatening letter from the Douche Bag’s lawyer (who is also a douche bag, in my opinion), stating a suit would be pursued if I did not discontinue defaming him in emails and on the site housing The Birth and Evolution of a Narcissistic Sociopath.

So, like any good American who knows her rights, I chose to ignore the letter. (I did, however, stop sending the Douche Bag and his family emails. But the story keeps getting better and better each and every day, don’t you think?)

And, in my opinion, the Douche Bag’s lack of explanation or excuse for not disclosing “his little secret” to me long ago, simply affirms what I have been convinced of for months– The Douche Bag is in fact a narcissistic sociopath with zero empathy or conscience. 🙂

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