Your next stop on The Great Sociopathic Abuse and Recovery Blog Tour!

I was invited by the author of Carnal Abuse by Deceit, Joyce M. Short, to participate in The Great Sociopathic Abuse and Recovery Blog Tour. To participate, I wrote this post in which I answer the following questions Joyce posed:

  1. How does your writing/creative process work?
  2. What are you working on at the moment?
  3. Why do you write or create what you do?
  4. How does your work differ from others in your genre?

1. How does your writing/creative process work?

A desire to write passes over me after I’ve lived through something or an idea lights up my thoughts. When this happens, I’m inspired to release all of the associated emotions, sensations and reflections, so I sit down at my laptop and write, rewrite and write some more. If I can’t figure out exactly how to word a thought or idea, I step away and pick up a book or I practice yoga or meditate. Sometimes it takes a lot of meditation and several iterations before I decide to publish a post/article. Other times, I immediately get it out onto the screen without hesitation or the need to heavily edit. My writing style is organic and flowing. I try not to be too hard on myself or worry about being perfect with each word or sentence. If it feels right, and my thoughts, when read back to myself, feel authentic and 100% honest, I hit the “Publish” button on my dashboard. The fears of being imperfect, which I carried with me for decades, no longer hinder my creative process. Like Yoda says, “Do or do not. There is no try.” Doing keeps my life moving and filled with meaning.

2. What are you working on at the moment?

I am in the middle of writing my 3rd book, “Destined to Heal”.

Who will benefit from this book?

“Destined to Heal” is intended to benefit many, from the victims and survivors to the health care professionals and family members who support the victims and survivors. More specifically, the book will benefit:

>>Everyone who has found themselves lost in the aftermath of abuse and trauma and is desperate to take ownership of their healing and recovery but have no idea where to begin.

>>Everyone who started on their journey but find themselves regressing in thoughts and in need of a more solid foundation of validation, accountability and motivation to move forward.

>>Counselors and healthcare professionals interested in empowering their patients outside of appointments and therapy sessions.

>>Friends and family members of victims and survivors who wish to understand their loved one’s struggles and obstacles to healing.

What is the focus of the book?

The book is designed to be informative, illustrative and minimally didactic. The premise and approach to healing and recovery outlined and illustrated in “Destined to Heal” is heavily modeled from Mezirow’s theory of transformational learning.

The book juxtaposes scientific research with holistic theory and practices, which have proven effective in treating individuals in the aftermath of abuse and trauma.

In addition to citing peer-reviewed research, the book includes interviews with psychotherapists, neurosurgeons, and of course, victims and survivors who have been “there” and done “that”.

How will survivors benefit from the book?

“Destined to Heal” provides easy-to-integrate lifestyle options, tools and practices for survivors interested in designing a recovery plan specific to the needs of their personal and distinct healing journey. A companion workbook will also be available at the time of publication.

When will “Destined to Heal” be published?

“Destined to Heal” will be published only after it’s been properly edited, vetted and reviewed. My hope is to have a final draft available for print by January 2017. It may take longer.

3. Why do you write or create what you do?

The simple answer is that I feel like I have no choice but to write and publish. In the aftermath of my personal abuse and trauma, writing served as an effective and therapeutic healing modality. Simultaneously, a voice inside kept telling me I must share and put myself out there…to be vulnerable and unafraid.

As a result, I became a prolific writer and advocate for health. I also became a certified yoga teacher and integrative nutrition health coach. I write articles on yoga therapy, meditation and nutrition, in addition to the books and articles specifically intended to support victims of domestic violence, rape and fraud. Through my contributions, I hope others will realize they are not alone and that there is hope for true and profound healing and transformation. Since 2012, I’ve self-published two books, Escaping the Boy: My Life with a Sociopath and Unashamed Voices, and written hundreds of online articles for various publications, including Communities Digital News, Places to Yoga, elephant journal, LoveFraud.com and my personal blog.

4. How does your work differ from others in the genre?

This is a tough one to answer. I’m not really sure what my genre is. Sef-help? Spirituality? Trauma and recovery? What I do know is that I write from a place of experience and a desire to reach others who may have experienced something similar to what I’ve experienced. I don’t want others to make the same mistakes I made. However, if they don’t find my writing until after they’ve already made some of those mistakes, I want them to step away from what I write and realize they’re not alone, it’s not too late and all failures can be overcome when compassion for oneself is ever-present. It’s the readers’ responsibility to take what speaks to them and apply it to their lives. My focus is bent toward a holistic approach along the path of healing and transformation. I weave yoga, meditation and whole-food nutrition into my writing. If it rubs off on some or further validates what others may already be doing, awesome! I certainly do not see myself as an authority on any particular subject. But if a reader can relate to my story and personality, then that reader will, more than likely, get more from my writing than from a writer with whom they can’t relate, regardless of the other writer’s experience or credentials. It’s the nature of being human. We need to find connections, especially in the healing process. Therefore, my responsibility as a writer is to provide as much fact-based, objective data to the reader as possible, while presenting a subjective story with which they will hopefully relate.

Thank you, Joyce, for inviting me to participate in The Great Sociopathic Abuse and Recovery Blog Tour! 

Blog Tour 5/25/15

Sociopathic Abuse and Recovery

Stop Rape by Fraud

Celebrating Truth in Romance Day, June 15th
http://rapebyfraud.com/2015/05/14/announcing-fess-up-day-june-15th/

Better Not Broken

Waffles and Waze: Why Elvis Remains King and It’s Never Too Late For Change
http://betternotbroken.com/2015/05/11/waffles-and-waze-why-elvis-remains-king-and-its-never-too-late-for-change/

Love-Life-Om

Just say “No!” to sociopath oppression and possession
https://paularenee.wordpress.com/2015/03/23/just-say-no-to-sociopath-oppression-and-possession/

 

Immigration Fraud Canada

It All Started With a Divorce and What I Perceived As True Affection and Love….
https://immigrationfraudcanada.wordpress.com/2013/04/12/it-all-started-with-a-divorce-and-what-i-percieved-as-true-affection-and-love/

http://www.care4bullied.com/blog/

Looking for the light

Tell congress to help New Veterans Keep the Mental Health Medications They Need
http://lookingforthelight.me/2015/05/21/tell-congress-to-help-new-veterans-keep-the-mental-health-medications-they-need/

Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

When he tells you the first time…..
http://letmereach.com/2015/05/25/when-he-tells-you-the-first-time-2/comment-page-1/#comment-68897

Additional blogs of interest:

Psychopaths and Love

Journey of Olivia Rose

Lady with a Truck

Mom’s Heart Unsilenced

Soul Healing Art

Michelle Malon

With sincere thanks,

Paula Carrasquillo
Yogi. Author. Advocate.

Read “Unashamed Voices” and expand the sociopath awareness message

Becoming a yoga teacher and health coach allows me the opportunity to continuously give back the gifts that were given to me through my healing and recovery process. I publish books for the same reason.

Unashamed Voices by Paula CarrasquiloMy second self-published book, Unashamed Voices, is a collection of true stories from across the globe written by survivors of toxic and abusive relationships. The book exposes the unchallenged pathological personalities and behaviors of psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists in our midst.

Readers of my blog submitted their stories to me between May 2013 and October 2013. I know it wasn’t an easy task for them. Sitting down and writing the details of personal trauma is an exhausting and triggering exercise. And then to send them off to a complete stranger?

After I received the stories, I spent over a year reading, absorbing and editing each. And I say “edit” loosely, because I did not want the authentic voice of each survivor to be lost in my voice. I stuck to “correcting” only basic grammar and punctuation errors.

I have deep respect and admiration for each and every survivor who took that leap of faith and trusted me. I am determined to continue honoring them and promoting and improving this book. A traditional publisher WILL take notice. Their choice to hit “send” will not be in vain or limited in scope. This book WILL be available in libraries and institutes and read and studied by students, law enforcement, lawyers, judges, therapists and families affected by these tragedies.

Contribute to the expansion of our message. Download and read your copy today and share it with someone tomorrow.

With sincere thanks,
Paula Carrasquillo
Yogi. Author. Advocate.

©2015 Paula Carrasquillo and Love. Life. Om.

Survivors Continue to Share and Inspire

Love. Life. Om. Survivor Newsletter – Volume 2, Issue 4

Alana (not her real name) submitted her story to me earlier this month through my online submission form. I attempted to respond and thank her, but the email bounced back. So I am sharing her full submission in this newsletter in hopes Alana sees that it’s been shared and contacts me…again…in order to properly thank her.

Also this month, I was contacted by another survivor and author, Holly, who asked me to share her book with everyone. Follow this link to Amazon to download Holly’s book, Escaping Abuse: An Autobiography about Love, Marriage, Abuse, and Perseverance.

Enjoy this issue and pass it along to your network of supporters, survivors and fellow warriors!

Paula Carrasquillo

“There’s something odd about that guy she’s dating.”

“There’s something odd about that guy she’s dating.”

I have many sisters who aren’t afraid to be direct with me. I have a mother who pays attention and asks questions. Despite this, none of them felt comfortable probing me about “that guy” while I was dating him or letting me know how they really felt.

Only after I escaped the sociopath did I learn about the numerous conversation my friends and family members were having amongst themselves about “that guy”. In the aftermath of the relationship, my mother and sisters confessed that his behavior was “odd” and “abnormal”, but they weren’t able to define exactly what it was about him that made them uneasy. This inability to pinpoint a tangible reason to explain their gut feelings discouraged them from voicing their concerns with me directly.

Even if they had approached me, I’m sure I wouldn’t have welcomed their criticisms and questions. I would have become defensive and made excuses and explained away his behavior. I was in both shock and denial while inside the toxic dynamic. I was unwilling to face the humiliation of choosing so poorly, so the more I pushed away the reality of who “that guy” was turning out to be, the less humiliation I felt on a daily basis. I thought I was preserving myself, when I was actually allowing myself to decay from the inside out.

Today, I can pinpoint exactly what it was about “that guy” that made my family’s skin crawl, because it made my skin crawl too, but I just kept denying what I was sensing:

A permeating presence of stagnant, low-vibrational energy, which revealed his 1) lack of authenticity; 2) lack of truth; and 3) lack of original thoughts.

When I think back to these words he screamed at me just before I escaped, “I don’t know why you’re getting so upset now after all this time. You knew from the beginning that this is who I am,” I realize he was right. Even before the name calling, blocking, pushing, grabbing, pinching and down-right dirtiness of his actions and words, the ugliness of the sociopath was always present, hovering like a phantom and lingering at the threshold of the foreground and background. And he never tried to hide it. He actually believed he was as normal and as healthy as the next guy.

1. Lack of authenticity – This was ever-present but especially noticeable to me when we were with others in a group. I immediately picked up on his false gestures of friendship and camaraderie. In the beginning, my body would only slightly react…a tickle in my throat…at the sound of him talking about how happy he was for someone. He wasn’t happy for anyone. Who was he fooling? He only said he was happy because he thought that was what he was supposed to say. He didn’t feel happiness for anyone on any deep level. I sensed this lack of genuine emotions early but was too naive to understand the depth of what it meant about the true nature of “that guy”.

2. Lack of truth – Closely connected to his lack of authenticity, his lack of truth expanded beyond simply lying when recounting stories from his past and present. I never sensed a solid truth in anything he said, chose to eat, buy or acquire. In every relationship, we share and tell our stories with a combination of the words we use and the things we choose to surround ourselves, from the books on our shelves to the pictures we carry in our wallets. When we are in the presence of an honest and truthful person, everything that person says and everything surrounding that person, from their clothes to their friendships to what they eat, makes sense, folds into each other and further solidifies our personal idea of who that person is. With “that guy”, there were too many contradictions flashing before my eyes, making it impossible for me to form a clear picture of who “that guy” was. Unfortunately, because my intuition was not well-primed, these contradictions caused me to feel confused and restless about the emotions and sensations they conjured within me. I fought the contradictions and attempted to explain them away: “Oh, he’s just complicated. He’s just really in touch with his feminine side. He’s just very masculine and that’s why he’s super jealous. He’s just not used to kids. His just needs more time to understand my family.” The excuses were endless and only served to hide the truth about the lack of truth within “that guy”. I couldn’t form a solid image of his persona in my mind, because he wasn’t standing in truth. He was perpetually acting and switching roles depending on his audience and based on what he thought would garner him the most control, reward and attention. I see that now, and it’s twisted.

3. Lack of original thoughts – This was one of his most aggravating qualities. He liked regurgitating the thoughts and ideas of others and claiming them as his own. I considered this the equivalent to stealing, but I honestly didn’t think he actually believed his own delusions until I caught him claiming my thoughts, skills and ideas as his own. Some may call this gas lighting, but I knew the truth and never questioned my truth as he spewed it from his lying mouth. This wasn’t a matter of forgetting whether or not I knew something that he was trying to pass off as his lesson to me. This was a matter of me stopping myself from vomiting all over him due to my uncontrollable disgust at his arrogance, disrespect and lack of integrity. He wasn’t fooling me. But he was. I didn’t speak up and say, “Don’t use my knowledge and my words to establish your false sense of superiority over me.” Instead, I let the anger and disgust fester, while simultaneously trying to convince myself that he didn’t mean any harm. After all, don’t they say imitation is the highest form of flattery? Hmm? I don’t think so either. It’s just thievery and a little creepy.

Looking back, I used to feel ashamed at myself for remaining inside that low vibrational and toxic relationship for so long. Today, I realize my intuition simply wasn’t evolved enough to figure it out calmly and quickly. I reacted from a place of high-sensitivity without understanding why I was reacting from that place. It wasn’t because I was too sensitive or unstable. It was because my sensitivity was right on par. It was “that guy” who was unstable.

Namaste!
~Paula

Pre-order “How To Do No Contact Like a Boss” by Kim Saeed

Pre-order your copy today!!

If you’re thinking about going no contact or are currently struggling to maintain no contact, Kim Saeed’s new book will serve as an invaluable tool for your emotional, physical and spiritual well-being and growth.

Order your copy today!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00RM9QV9Q/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1427556744&sr=1-1&keywords=No+contact+like+a+boss

What if “50 Shades” was never intended to be what it has become?

What if “50 Shades of Grey” was intended to be the very opposite of what society has embraced it to be? Let’s imagine.


The author of “50 Shades of Grey” was in the middle of reading the Twilight series (pre-teen vampire romance series) and thought:

”Oh, this type of thing REALLY happens and it happened to me. It’s not romance; it’s abuse. Vampires are real. They may not suck blood, but they suck the life out of those they prey upon and control. Maybe if I wrote a human version of the vampire character, people will see how ridiculous it is for us to romanticize this type of relationship.”
This is love?
She took pen to paper and poorly wrote (purposefully) her novel filled with overt abuse, contradictions and obvious ironies about love and relationships. She even misrepresented the BDSM community knowing that THAT community is extremely vocal, more vocal than the DV community. (At least at the time she was writing.)

The book was published quickly as an e-book. Unfortunately, the book took off in a direction she never imagined. The book’s intended message was lost. People embraced it as a manual for better sex and improved relationships. It sold and sold and sold. A traditional publisher picked it up followed by an eager film production company. Instead of speaking out against the ignorant masses early, the author thought it best to sit back, collect her royalties and devise a plan.

While accumulating millions of dollars from the entertainment-hungry masses, the author made a wish-list of programs to create, programs and services traditionally not funded for victims and survivors of abuse:

1. Neuroscience and behavioral research studies focusing on the effects and varying classifications of PTSD during and in the aftermath of emotional, psychological, sexual, financial, and physical abuse.

2. Lobbying efforts to influence a change in the laws and penalties for non-stranger intimate partner rape and assault, child abuse, financial fraud, rape by fraud and a myriad of crimes associated with control and torture.

3. Education and awareness programs to assist and inform police officers, advocates, social workers and other service workers to clearly and effectively discern between perpetrator and victim.

4. A foundation dedicated to providing food, clothing, cars, money, hotel rooms and housing, counseling, integrative treatment options and support to victims and survivors and their families, children and friends.

5. Yearly conference of like-minded people and professionals interested in putting an end to the needless suffering of millions struck by abuse – emotional, psychological, financial, sexual and physical.

The book’s film version launched on Valentine’s Day 2015 (another intended irony in hopes of “awakening” those still asleep at the wheel).

On Monday morning, following the release, the author held a press conference revealing the book and film’s intended message. The book was rebranded and marketed as intended. Sales continued to rise and the wish list was made a reality.

…and we all lived happily ever after.

I know — “Wishful thinking, Paula.”


Paula Carrasquillo
Yogi. Author. Advocate.
http://www.paulacarrasquillo.com

With a mix of hope and skepticism, I digest the latest No More PSA

when-its-hard-to-listen-700x422Read my latest CDN story: Super Bowl domestic violence PSA: Listen and speak up

BETHESDA, Md., February 2, 2015 — The No More public service announcement (PSA) that aired during Super Bowl XLIX seeks to accomplish what no other domestic violence campaign has been able to do: to educate, incite action and shatter myths in hopes of ending the epidemic of domestic violence. Continue reading…

Excerpt from the Introduction to “Unashamed Voices” by Paula Carrasquillo

Unashamed Voices by Paula CarrasquiloThe following in an excerpt from the introduction to “Unashamed Voices: True Stories Written by Survivors of Domestic Violence, Rape and Fraud Exposing Sociopaths in Our Midst” set to launch on December 31, 2014.


I was 17 when I met the person who would change me forever. I was a high school senior, sitting on a full academic scholarship. He was 18, a high-school graduate. He chose not to attend college and instead worked at a local pizza parlor while trying to break into semi-professional lacrosse. I was impressed by his passion and truly believed it was a dream he could potentially fulfill, considering the year before he was a member of the 1988 Maryland High School Class 1A State Football Championship team. He seemed trustworthy and kind. He called me on Thanksgiving Day and asked me out on a date. I was excited. He was incredibly cute. Of course I said yes. He became my boyfriend for the next ten months.

The abuse started in subtle ways. He made strange comments about what I wore, about who my friends were and about my family. He judged me for having sex with him “too early” despite the fact he participated in having sex with me “too early.” I wasn’t accustomed to being judged by a person who judged me for doing exactly what he was also “guilty” of doing. His criticisms seemed pointless and circular. If I pointed this out to him, he’d say, “Oh, you think you’re so smart, Little Miss College Girl. You have no idea what real life is about. Your family keeps you inside a protective bubble. You have no idea. Just wait. One day you will find out what life is really about.”

His comments left me confused. They sounded like warnings, but I didn’t understand at the time that he was cautioning me about himself. Soon, these strange comments were paired with physical assaults against me. He poked me on my arm or on my forehead. These unprovoked pokes would come unannounced as I was talking or expressing an opinion or saying anything he didn’t like.

One day, the pokes escalated to full-shoulder grabs. He grabbed, contained and constrained me from speaking further about whatever it was I was trying to say. My shock and confusion grew. I remember saying, “Why are you grabbing me? No one grabs me and touches me like that! My father never even grabbed and touched me like that. What makes you think you can treat me this way?” Instead of standing back and recognizing he was wrong for grabbing me, this 18-year-old boy began to cry. Stories of his childhood abuse at the hands of his father came rushing to the surface, spilling out of him as he sobbed. They seemed never-ending. Being locked in a closet for hours and sometimes days. Witnessing his father beat his mother until she bled. Witnessing his brother being terrorized. Being beaten senselessly with a belt or a bat or a pot or a pan, whatever his father had handy. I cringed. My emotions oscillated between anger and shear disillusionment as I listened attentively to his accounts. I didn’t know how to soothe him outside of hugging him and telling him I was sorry for what he went through. I tried the best I could. One would think he would welcome my attempts to soothe him and return my hugs or say something appreciative like “Thank you” or “I’m glad I can talk to someone about this.” Rather, they were met with contempt, anger and violence. He screamed at me, “You think you’re so special and smart! You’re nothing! You don’t know how easy you’ve had it. You have no idea what I have been through. Don’t pretend to understand!”

The physical violence escalated quickly over a short period of time. He smothered and kicked me. He attempted to break my arm. He even threatened me with a loaded gun. Why? For what purpose? How did hurting me, beating me and shaming me help take is pain and suffering away. An eye for an eye?

I felt shock mixed with fear and pity. I failed to recognize that this person was taking out his painful past on me. I kept thinking maybe I could help him and make some sort of difference in his life. Model love? Prove to him that I cared? I wasn’t able to see that I was his victim. He was the perpetrator of violence against me, an innocent girl who desperately wanted to understand. The abuse continued.

One night in the late hours of a warm summer evening in 1990, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the front steps of his parent’s house. Our conversation unexpectedly evolved into an argument. I tried getting into my car to leave, but he grabbed the car keys from my hands. He held them over his head. I jumped to get them back but missed. He took off running down the street. I chased after him for my keys. I almost caught up to him when he suddenly stopped, turned and started running toward me. Terrified, I ran in the other direction, but he quickly caught up to me and kicked me from behind, knocking me forward onto the ground. I got to my feet and began running. Again, he caught up, kicked me and knocked me down to the road’s surface. I got up. I couldn’t outrun him. I tried. Repeatedly, he chased, kicked and knocked me to the ground for what seemed like hours. I begged and pleaded with him to stop. But he wouldn’t. I screamed, “Please! Just kill me! You’re killing me! Just kill me already!” The porch light of a nearby house switched on. This must have scared him. He hurled the keys at me and ran off in the direction of his parent’s home. After many minutes of searching and digging in the darkness amongst the twigs, leaves and garbage, I finally found my keys. I walked back to my car in a daze of shock, not knowing if, at any moment, he would jump out and beat me one last time.

Once safely inside the car, I locked the doors and briefly pondered my options. Telling my parents was out of the question. I feared what they would do to him in retaliation. I also feared what my boyfriend would do in retaliation to their retaliation. So I drove straight to the police station.

I walked into the reception confused and frightened. Although at 18 I considered myself smart and confident, I didn’t feel the least bit confident at the police station. I had never been to a police station. I had never spoken to a police officer in my life. As I approached the reception window, the officer behind the glass looked up from his paperwork and asked, “What do you want?” His words echoed a few times in my head. What do I want? What do I want? I guess I want help! I said, “I want help. I want you to arrest my boyfriend.” The officer chuckled and laughed at me. I instantly became confused. Why is he laughing at me? This is serious. Doesn’t he believe me? So, I repeated, “Will you please arrest my boyfriend? He tried to kill me!” From behind the glass, the officer asked in a patronizing way, “How did he try to kill you?”

I remember opening my mouth, but the words were hard to find. I started crying hysterically. I couldn’t form a complete sentence to save my life. I vaguely remember mumbling and wiping the tears and snot from my melting face. The officer interrupted me and said, “If you can’t control yourself, I can’t help you. How old are you?” I screamed, “I’m 18, and my boyfriend just tried to kill me!” Condescendingly, the police officer said, “If you expect me to help you, you need to be more respectful, young lady.”

I was so confused. Can’t he see that I have been running in the dark along the streets for hours trying to get away from my boyfriend? Can’t he see that I have dirt and mud all over my knees and the palms of my hands from repeatedly falling after being kicked from behind? Respect? I respect him. What is he talking about? What’s happening? I started crying more. The fluorescent lighting beat down on me. I sat in one of the plastic chairs along the wall putting my hands over my face. From behind the glass, the officer repeated, “If you can’t control yourself, I can’t help you.” Control myself!? What the hell is he talking about? My tears turned to anger and frustration. I dropped my hands from my face and spoke sternly, “I need you to take down my name and the name of my boyfriend.” The officer retorted, “I don’t need to do anything.” In that instant, I knew I was defeated.


 Preorder your copy today!

Cosby is a Psychopath and so is that person you think is ‘just’ a Narcissist

I was duped. I took this picture last February.

I was duped. I took this picture last February.

A person who must lie about who he is, what he believes in, and about his feelings to get you to love him and then manipulate you into thinking your love is only genuine if you see him as superior and that you must never question his superiority is a narcissist and a sociopath and a psychopath.*

We want to make a distinction among these terms: narcissist, sociopath and psychopath. I no longer believe these terms are mutually exclusive; and if given enough time and observation, we will see that those we once thought were “just” narcissists, will prove they were psychopaths all along who simply wore their masks of sanity incredibly well.

I think psychiatry, neuroscience, and other behavioral sciences will one day realize this too and conclude that these terms (which are man-made terms based on limited human observations) all refer to the same type of person: [insert new term to encompass all three].

Today, we determine which label to apply based on the intensity or level of evil one of these types presents to us. What is becoming more and more clear to me is that the behavior of the pathological is purely situational and dependent on how much resistance they face from their chosen victim(s) and what resources they have available to them.

A person we once referred to as “just” a narcissist, does something that convinces us he is a sociopath, and then it’s revealed that he has done something even more diabolical which elevates him to the ultimate status of psychopath.

Narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths…they are all the same. It’s just that it takes time and a change in their status, resource level, and support level for their behavior to become evident and measurable through observation thus proving that they crossed the imaginary boundaries distinguishing the terms a long, long time ago.

Look at Cosby. If all psychopaths were lucky enough to have his money and connections to create the persona and mask he hid behind for decades, I don’t think we would ever fully understand or comprehend how easy it is for psychopaths to hide in our midst. Or how easy it is for psychopaths to instill fear in their victims forcing victims to remain silent, thus perpetuating the psychopath’s mask and outward persona of goodness and righteousness.

All psychopaths want to have the power Cosby had. The money, the honorary degrees, the celebrity.

In their delusions, like Cosby, they create micro universes where they ARE King. Some even name their cars or their wi-fi networks after themselves. The wealthier ones name yachts and airplanes after themselves. Same disease; different level of resources.

And these people are not geniuses or brilliant. They manipulate the most primitive part of us: our desire and need to be loved by another human being.

And in order to manipulate our primitive brain, all they have to do is tap into their primitive brain filled with trickery, manipulations and emotional blackmail.

Anyone who has to lie, cheat and steal to win people, jobs and status and then bash those same people to con others to gain a fresh supply of people, jobs and status is dangerous.

Period.

The cycle of abuse they follow in romantic relationships is the same cycle they use in all relationships, in organizations and in communities: assess, groom, idolize, devalue and discard.

Their evil behavior curls around and tarnishes and attempts to destroy everything and everyone in its path.

With Cosby, the American public was groomed and charmed into submission thanks to the creation of a character named Dr. Huxtable. Dr. Huxtable was Cosby’s “sheep’s clothing” and protected Cosby from being exposed for decades.

The man who raped those ladies is not a good person. He exemplifies a psychopath.The man who raped you, abused you, tormented your children and then cried to everyone in earshot that you’re a liar and insane is not a good person.

You can call him a sociopath, a narcissist or a psychopath. It doesn’t matter, because those of us who have met the devil know there isn’t a label or term available to use that can encompass the ugliness and insidiousness of what we lived.

Namaste!
Paula Carrasquillo
yogi. author. advocate.

* Note: This also applies to females who are psychopaths.

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