What if “50 Shades of Grey” was intended to be the very opposite of what society has embraced it to be? Let’s imagine.

The author of “50 Shades of Grey” was in the middle of reading the Twilight series (pre-teen vampire romance series) and thought:

”Oh, this type of thing REALLY happens and it happened to me. It’s not romance; it’s abuse. Vampires are real. They may not suck blood, but they suck the life out of those they prey upon and control. Maybe if I wrote a human version of the vampire character, people will see how ridiculous it is for us to romanticize this type of relationship.”
This is love?
She took pen to paper and poorly wrote (purposefully) her novel filled with overt abuse, contradictions and obvious ironies about love and relationships. She even misrepresented the BDSM community knowing that THAT community is extremely vocal, more vocal than the DV community. (At least at the time she was writing.)

The book was published quickly as an e-book. Unfortunately, the book took off in a direction she never imagined. The book’s intended message was lost. People embraced it as a manual for better sex and improved relationships. It sold and sold and sold. A traditional publisher picked it up followed by an eager film production company. Instead of speaking out against the ignorant masses early, the author thought it best to sit back, collect her royalties and devise a plan.

While accumulating millions of dollars from the entertainment-hungry masses, the author made a wish-list of programs to create, programs and services traditionally not funded for victims and survivors of abuse:

1. Neuroscience and behavioral research studies focusing on the effects and varying classifications of PTSD during and in the aftermath of emotional, psychological, sexual, financial, and physical abuse.

2. Lobbying efforts to influence a change in the laws and penalties for non-stranger intimate partner rape and assault, child abuse, financial fraud, rape by fraud and a myriad of crimes associated with control and torture.

3. Education and awareness programs to assist and inform police officers, advocates, social workers and other service workers to clearly and effectively discern between perpetrator and victim.

4. A foundation dedicated to providing food, clothing, cars, money, hotel rooms and housing, counseling, integrative treatment options and support to victims and survivors and their families, children and friends.

5. Yearly conference of like-minded people and professionals interested in putting an end to the needless suffering of millions struck by abuse – emotional, psychological, financial, sexual and physical.

The book’s film version launched on Valentine’s Day 2015 (another intended irony in hopes of “awakening” those still asleep at the wheel).

On Monday morning, following the release, the author held a press conference revealing the book and film’s intended message. The book was rebranded and marketed as intended. Sales continued to rise and the wish list was made a reality.

…and we all lived happily ever after.

I know — “Wishful thinking, Paula.”

Paula Carrasquillo
Yogi. Author. Advocate.

abuse, domestic violence, Emotional Abuse, Films, Lessons, Love, Mental Health, Narcissist, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Narcissistic Sociopath, NPD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychopaths, PTSD, Rape, Recovery, Relationships, Self Improvement, Self-care, Sociopaths, Writing, yoga quotes
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Join the conversation! 10 Comments

  1. When this book was release my friend asked if I read it…I said, “No, I could have wrote it or parts of it…” Not my cup of tea! She had no idea what I meant and had to explain how I felt about this book and why. She was abused as a child (by her father) and lived 20 years in an abusive relationship that was pretty much sexless or all about him. So she dreamed of someone who was “good at sex” (her words)…I told her that this book has nothing to do with “good” sex or love at all…


  2. Wouldn’t that be great. But the happy ending in the book derails all that I think. And I’m only speaking of that happy ending “knowledge” from all I’ve read ABOUT the books and movie. I have not and will not read the book or see the movie.

    My understanding of the ‘turn on’ is what I understand to be a rather common fantasy of women, not knowing or not being awake to the realness or the real danger of abuse.


    • Yes. The red flags of abuse are lost on the most naive and inexperienced, namely young women and virgins. It’s also being relished by women in unhappy marriages/relationships who think adding a little BDSM as depicted in the book will add new life to their every day. Instead of opening the door to evolved and healthy communication, women are willing to be opressed. Makes absolutely zero sense to me.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Me too. There is a young woman in my friend list on FB… she is a niece of a long time friend of mine and she is such a fan of the books and movie. I just shake my head when I see postings about it. I want to say something but I also know it will go unheard and not taken seriously. For it is ‘all in fun’ and ‘just a book’.


    • Of course! And we’re just uptight and “ruined” women who can’t bare to see others enjoy harmless entertainment. It’s so reminiscent of my ex telling me, after I reacted negatively to one of his crude and/or rude comments, “Oh, relax. I was only joking.” It’s never a joke, it’s never funny and someone always ends up being harmed in the end. Always.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Oh yeah, I’m quite familiar with that, “I’m only joking or It was a joke” BS. Abuse is never funny or for entertainment.

      It’s one thing to use the experience as a message, but it’s obvious it’s being exploited in these books and movie, just from the reactions and responses I see from both fans and the detractors.

      Today I just saw a video that was cut from an old movie with Doris Day and Rock Hudson, showing the scene where Doris Day walks into the room where Rock Hudson is sleeping and she slaps him in the face, shocks him awake and then sits down, (pretends she didn’t do it) takes his face in her hands and says, “Oh honey, were you having a nightmare?” As he sits there looking around in shock.

      And this is ‘supposed’ to be funny!?! I admit, at one time I would’ve probably laughed at that. Because after all it was a woman slapping the man. But it’s abuse either way and I found myself pretty disturbed seeing this today.

      I almost made the comment, “Why is it funny (mostly to women) when a woman does this, but if you turn it around and it was Rock slapping Doris, it would be a whole different thing?”

      It just seems to send a really mixed message.

      I know I kind of flipped the story here a bit, switching up roles. Sorry if that’s the case. But I think what we read and see as a society really impacts our psyches.

      And just to clarify…I am a woman. I’m not flipping things to make excuses for men abusing women or anything. I believe abuse to be wrong no matter what.


    • What we choose to ingest as entertainment is VERY impactful on our psyches. For those who think it isn’t, they’re fooling themselves and jeopardizing the foundation of society. And I did not interpret what you shared as flipping anything. It is what it is regardless of who is inflicting the abuse, male or female. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I was just thinking of you today and how I was wondering if I were missing your postings. Great posting on this topic!


    • I’ve been quiet lately, Kim. Going through a period of contemplation rather than action and creativity. You know how that happens sometimes, I’m sure. PLus, my day job has been kicking my butt!! Hehe! I’m finding it hard to find the time to write and interact online these days.


    • Oh, I so understand. Those times of contemplation can be so beautiful and rewarding. Wishing you the best 🙂


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