>>We can read book after book and blog after blog.
>>We can visit therapist after therapist and support group after support group.
>>We can take in vast volumes of knowledge and information yet still find ourselves stuck.
Why? How is it possible to know the truth yet remain confused about what’s next?
I think there are a number of factors to consider before giving up on your healing and transformational journey:
1. Honor the process; it’s not instant healing.
To change, learn, grow and ultimately transform takes time and dedication. There will be moments of “relapse” and/or intense triggers and high-level anxiety. These are normal reactions your body and mind produces when we try changing conditioned patterns of thought and action. We involuntarily fight against those changes, because ironically, we’ve conditioned ourselves to find comfort in our suffering and state of despair.
2. Honor your survival.
You survived something that many do not. You may have lost your job, your home, your car, your family and your dignity, but you are still breathing. Your heart is still beating, right? I believe in purpose, and there is a purpose you remain alive.
3. Honor your failed expectations.
It is absolutely impossible to expect or predict how and in what setting your joy will manifest. You can think of a 100 possible scenarios, and the 101st scenario you never imagined is what you experience. So think on what you want or “something better.” Never put limits on the possibilities.
4. Honor the need to love and respect yourself before others.
Healthy levels of self-awareness and self-care are absolutely necessary if you expect the universe to start treating you better and gifting you with opportunities. Forget about what will please others for a change. Think about what you need to do for yourself, so when you are called upon to help others, you’re ready.
5. Honor the purge process.
We MUST eliminate any obstacles–thoughts, habits and people–that interfere with moving forward in our recovery. If you know certain foods aren’t good for you, stop eating them. If you recognize certain people set you off, avoid social situations with those people.
Set firm boundaries and create sacred rules of engagement for yourself, because you matter and are worth every moment dedicated to your recovery.
~Paula Carrasquillo, author of Escaping the Boy: My Life with a Sociopath