Male sociopaths think all women are whores and that all of our decisions and choices are based on our need for penis.

>> We marry or date the sociopath, because we want his penis.

>> We take a job, because we want our boss’s penis.

>> We frequent a certain store/bank/coffee shop, because we want that cute clerk’s penis.

>> We leave the sociopath, because we want someone else’s penis.

Is anyone else laughing at the absurdity of how primal these fools are considering how evolved they claim to be?

Sociopaths lack “manhood.”

Therefore, every other male on the planet is a direct threat. The sociopath minimizes us with insults and threats to minimize the men they presume we desire.

Sociopaths know they suck and fear that we think they suck, too. So to punish us for what they fear we think, sociopaths freely accuse us of all kinds of sexual nastiness, which makes us, eventually, disgusted and no longer sexually attracted to the sociopath. We soon say to ourselves, “This guy absolutely sucks!!”

(Funny how self-fulfilling prophecies work.)

Once we no longer find the sociopath sexually attractive, the sociopath has “proof” we were nothing but a lying whore all along.

Sociopaths, in their infinite wisdom, fail to see that there is no link between our natural sexuality and why we eventually lose all sexual interest in them. When intimacy and foreplay consist of nothing but accusations, demands, and threats, how on earth could any woman be attracted to such a beast sexually or otherwise?

Sociopaths even use passive aggressive sarcasm to emasculate and tear apart the male or group of males they refer to as friends. Every good man is a threat.

Personally, while inside the toxic relationship, I came to the conclusion that if the sociopath disliked and spoke with heavy criticism about certain males he knew (and supposedly liked), those were the males that were the really good ones.

So maybe sociopaths are good for something: any man or woman the sociopath pretends to be friends with yet insults with vile behind their backs or directly with passive aggressive, emasculating sarcasm, are the people who possess what the sociopath lacks and covets the most – integrity, passion, honesty, and value.

(No wonder we often form instant bonds with other victims/survivors, huh? We’re all awesome! Hehe!)

The sociopath secretly hates everyone and will use every conceivable way possible to minimize us and others in hopes of diminishing our self-esteem and increase our fears just so the sociopath can feel superior, as he sits in his inferior, small-penis brain.

Namaste!
~Paula

Category:
abuse, domestic violence, Emotional Abuse, Love, mindfulness, Narcissistic Sociopath, Psychopaths, Rape, Relationships, Self Improvement, Sociopaths
Tags:
, ,

Join the conversation! 71 Comments

  1. With respect to my earlier comment. I didn’t mean to detract from your well written and heartfelt article by introducing my own sob story.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve read this a couple of times, and I’ve decided that it’s flat out rude, as well as being in poor taste. I’m sure this is true of some, just as it’s also true that black men often eat fried chicken and occasionally engage in carjacking. The trouble is, these STEREOTYPES aren’t always (and usually aren’t, for that matter) the case. For every asshole who you allow to victimize you, there are ten like myself who bust their ass to minimize and control the affects of a fucked up childhood in order to have a life that’s something like normal.

    Your little scribblings serve to do no more than perpetuate a negative stereotype and further stigmatize a population which science is only now beginning to understand.

    From what I understand about shame, you should be experiencing it.

    Look at it this way…before we were married, my wife was robbed at gunpoint by a black man in Atlanta. What she did: 1. Bought a gun. 2. Learned to use the gun. 3. Put it in her purse 4. Stopped going into gas stations in dangerous neighborhoods at 11pm. What she did not do: Sign up for a wordpress account and use it to bash other members of the demographic which victimized her. That would be crazy. And my wife isn’t crazy.

    It’s good to educate people. It’s good to teach people not to be victims. It’s bad to teach people to use their previous victimization as an excuse to act like an asshole.

    Your post was asshole-ish and offensive.

    Like

    • You’re certainly entitled to your judgments, too. πŸ™‚

      Like

    • And I hope you recognize that your wife’s decision to purchase her gun simply perpetuates the issue and gives value to what the hijacker did. It certainly doesn’t address how to end the violence…by buying a weapon? Writing about what happened to me and attempting to understand why I was a target in the first place is what I do here, for myself and others. If I were to go out into the world and try battling my abuser with the same tactics he used to hurt me, the war would perpetuate and nothing would be resolved. Buying a gun and sticking it in your purse only makes one a bigger target. It’s a reactionary measure rather than an active one. Reactions don’t address the disease; reactions only serve as band aids that get stripped when the disease decides to return.

      Like

    • Anonymous — Your example comparing sociopaths by citing racial stereotypes as wrong does not compute. Race has nothing to do with inner character — if so, numerous white criminals can be used as a reason to hate or fear white people as you implied with your example regarding your wife being robbed at gunpoint by a black man in Atlanta. She bought and learned to use a gun, and stopped going out to get gas late at night — good for her for taking action and precautions.

      A retired white man and woman who had worked hard, decided to sell their boat to a young white male (YWM). The YWM manipulated the situation by using the image of his pregnant wife to promote family values, but his motive was to TAKE THE BOAT because he had no money to buy it. He killed the middle-aged white couple. The YWM was a sociopath. His criminal behaviors reflected on him and his cohorts — not ALL white people. See where I’m going…Common sense reasoning skills makes this applicable across groups.

      Interjecting race into a crime story helps cover up the reality that sociopaths generally hide in plain sight. All one has to do is watch any Investigation ID or Forensics Files story. A range of examples show 90% of cases involving people who murder their spouses and family members, plot against strangers, kill business partners and neighbors,etc. The race of most of these people is white, but focusing on this would obscure the fact about sociopaths in our midst — since normal white people are not in the same category as sociopaths.

      The condition of sociopathy is inherently about people who lack conscience — an INTERNAL characteristic not external. Sociopaths can be found across the board: male and female, black, white,Asian, American Indian and Hispanic, and any socioeconomic background.

      You get no brownie points for suggesting that stereotypes against sociopaths are comparable and inappropriate like stereotypes based on race/ethnicity are generally wrong.

      Like

    • Thank you, Gem Girl! I clearly missed the connection he was trying to make with stereotypes. Wow! My brain didn’t pick up on that. I immediately saw the guy who held up his wife as no better than a sociopath, inflicting sociopath abuse. Buying a gun doesn’t prevent it from happening again. It just puts you on the defensive now in heightened trauma mode. πŸ™‚

      Like

    • Well Paula, since your intellect gives so many of us insightful stuff to ponder on a regular basis, we can excuse any minor oversights. You get to be human after all.:) Keep up the good work!

      Like

  3. Reblogged this on vckhs7.

    Like

  4. Hi Paula.

    I’m sorry that you feel you’ve been a victim, but having read your account – the man just doesn’t seem intelligent enough to have been a sociopath. Your reasoning seems ‘off centre’. Where have you gotten all your facts from, if you don’t mind me asking? I’m going to break it down, so it is more understandable.

    “Male sociopaths think all women are whores and that all of our decisions and choices are based on our need for penis”
    – That’s not actually the case. You may be left feeling like a whore because you put in all the effort in the ‘relationship’. Sociopaths don’t care what your decisions and choices are. They have affected and manipulated all of them.

    “We marry or date the sociopath, because we want his penis.”
    – You date the sociopath because you want to. The sociopath dates you because they can.

    “We take a job, because we want our boss’s penis”
    – I can’t even see how that is relevant.

    “We frequent a certain store/bank/coffee shop, because we want that cute clerk’s penis”
    – Again, really?

    “We leave the sociopath, because we want someone else’s penis”
    – You leave the Sociopath because they have tired of you and pushed you to breaking point. There is no other reason. Some times if they are feeling nice, they will empower you with the feeling that it was all your idea; but it wasn’t.

    “Is anyone else laughing at the absurdity of how primal these fools are considering how evolved they claim to be?

    Sociopaths lack β€œmanhood.” ”
    – Female sociopaths, especially……….

    “Therefore, every other male on the planet is a direct threat. The sociopath minimizes us with insults and threats to minimize the men they presume we desire.”
    – Okay, this is where I start to really struggle. A true sociopath has no weaknesses. They never see anyone as a ‘threat’ – it’s just not possible. The inherent confidence within a sociopath means it’s not even a consideration.

    “Sociopaths know they suck and fear that we think they suck, too. So to punish us for what they fear we think, sociopaths freely accuse us of all kinds of sexual nastiness, which makes us, eventually, disgusted and no longer sexually attracted to the sociopath. We soon say to ourselves, β€œThis guy absolutely sucks!!””
    – Sociopaths think themselves amazing. They have no fear. The real sociopath would manage to get you to perform all the depraved acts you say disgust you; because you’d be desperately attempting to please them. Plus they’d make it seem a great idea. They will leave you feeling disgusted with yourself.
    – A sociopath’s charisma is enough to keep them attractive to you; plus there’s the niggling question of “could you change them?” Sexual attraction will always be there when you are in their presence.

    (Funny how self-fulfilling prophecies work.)

    Once we no longer find the sociopath sexually attractive, the sociopath has β€œproof” we were nothing but a lying whore all along.
    – I don’t understand this. Sociopaths are on the higher level of the intelligence scale. They are masters at manipulation and deception. This man just sounds like a common-garden thug.

    “Sociopaths, in their infinite wisdom, fail to see that there is no link between our natural sexuality and why we eventually lose all sexual interest in them. When intimacy and foreplay consist of nothing but accusations, demands, and threats, how on earth could any woman be attracted to such a beast sexually or otherwise?”
    – See, this is just it. There is no ‘intimacy’ for a sociopath. Just because they have you believing there is; doesn’t mean it’s true for them. Foreplay is just a means to sex. That doesn’t make them a sociopath. A sociopath doesn’t need to demand or threaten for anything. A Narc might; but he doesn’t sound like he was one of those either.

    “Sociopaths even use passive aggressive sarcasm to emasculate and tear apart the male or group of males they refer to as friends. Every good man is a threat.”
    – Sarcasm is a great tool. But they won’t actively put people down for anything other than sport. They have no need.

    Personally, while inside the toxic relationship, I came to the conclusion that if the sociopath disliked and spoke with heavy criticism about certain males he knew (and supposedly liked), those were the males that were the really good ones.
    – I never met a sociopath who needed to talk anyone down.

    So maybe sociopaths are good for something: any man or woman the sociopath pretends to be friends with yet insults with vile behind their backs or directly with passive aggressive, emasculating sarcasm, are the people who possess what the sociopath lacks and covets the most – integrity, passion, honesty, and value.
    – Sociopaths make wonderful friends. They are passionate (albeit possible fleeting). They are also honest; if they deem you worth it. Sociopaths rate values differently.

    (No wonder we often form instant bonds with other victims/survivors, huh? We’re all awesome! Hehe!)
    – Sociopaths are whoever you want/need them to be at the beginning, you will also ‘bond’ with them. So be careful.

    The sociopath secretly hates everyone and will use every conceivable way possible to minimize us and others in hopes of diminishing our self-esteem and increase our fears just so the sociopath can feel superior, as he sits in his inferior, small-penis brain.
    – Yes, they will probably do all of that. But not to feel superior, but because it’s fun. Sociopaths are incapable of feeling inferior.

    It sounds like you were in a horrible relationship where the guy was a complete bully. He clearly had self-esteem issues which he took out on you, to make himself feel better. You’ve been horribly hurt by all this and rightly so. But I highly doubt this man was a sociopath. He just doesn’t sound intelligent enough. What you do have now though, are all the trade marks of the perfect prey for a sociopath. You’re angry, hurt and wanting to be loved. Easy pickings for a sociopath……

    Like

    • Oh my goodness, Britishblu. I feel like a kindergarten teaching:

      I probably also should have noted that sociopaths never get the sarcasm of others (the entire first few sentences were sarcasm. I think you missed that), and sociopaths are never able to comprehend the truth about themselves, so they enjoy attempting to minimize those of us who spread the truth.

      (You must have come from that other guy’s blog, huh? You folks crack me up at how predictable you are in your reactions to me. Have a great day.)

      Like

  5. This is so true….and from my personal experience, if the sociopath actually has a small penis and ED on top of that, it is even worse!!

    Like

    • I suppose, in this case, the difference between a sociopath and a normal person is that a normal person won’t take out their inadequacies on you. Or use your inadequacies against you. The longest relationship I ever had was with a woman who almost daily reminded, me via innuendo and sometimes directly, that I had a small penis. That set me back a few years in my path to accept the body I was given.

      Like

    • And I think that was unfortunate for you, MN. I never actually told my ex abuser he had a small penis. That would have been cruel. I also didn’t tell him he had a big one; that would have also been cruel considering it would have been a big, fat lie. πŸ™‚

      Like

    • Great comment Paula re his apparatus πŸ™‚
      I never told mine either but, I didn’t need to as he kept telling me it was the bestest of the best!!!
      He was such a consummate salesman that he sold himself that lie as well & me not being one to deflate anyone’s ego just went ‘yep, your the bestest I’ve ever had’…white lies don’t hurt πŸ˜‰

      To MN, it is never the size that matters in the end, it’s the whole package of the person & how they use their whole self in a relationship, not just their penis.

      Love & light πŸ˜‰
      PR xoxo

      Like

  6. Interesting that using the word penis gets you a ten fold increase in comments over recent posts – funny how the world works…

    The framework of what you talk about is spot on – the mechanism of abuse by a sociopath is so familiar to us it can be seen in all sorts of contexts, for me directly it was in a group – all you say here was there in that dynamic…

    Im getting there – spending time away from them and getting there – its a slow process however and it has ups and downs – most of the downs I note being a return of the wheeling free flowing rethinking of it all – now some time after the direct action of the abuser I am still left with its after affects but without that context what I struggle with is a tendency to think it was me all along..

    The question of how a person could be as my abusers were – the sociopath and his cabal of dull minded arse licking sidekicks – seem to be irrational and improbable…

    If you shift context again to the Israeli aggression against Gaza then all these same mechanisms are there too – the bait and shift – the projection – calling the victim crazy – the indifference of the audience and now I will predict as this latest cease fire runs its course and people are relieved it seems to be over there will be a wholesale obfuscation of the facts…

    My abuser is very visible in our shared group – he is like a peacock – the others are in awe of him in public at any rate – as time passes and he exhibits more then my situation looks aberant and silly – I have lost any context where I may discuss it whatever…

    People will vaguely think that it was Hamas that was at fault – those rockets – yes it was those rockets that were the cause – not the covert and overt abuses that precipitated them – no talking about them makes you look like a fanatic – no it was the rockets they were at fault, didnt you know that… isnt it obvious….

    the context matters nothing – the abuse is in and of itself and its it everywhere…

    cocks the lot of them

    Like

    • I absolutely agree! I was hoping you would comment on this post. You always offer great and intelligent insight from a male perspective and from a non-romantic sociopath abuse dynamic. I see the abuse everywhere and it hurts my heart. From the micro to the macro. I have vowed to remain disengaged from the violence, verbal and physical. I put my energy toward doing good and always being aware of how my thoughts and actions affect my peace and the peace of others. Compassion is what we must focus on building and practicing…I believe that at least. πŸ™‚

      Like

    • Yes… This whole situation has brought compassion to the surface of my soul.. At first I mindfully needed the little boost helping someone feel better gave me.. But over time, like you, I recognise it as our path to becoming fully self confident once more.. Seeking any redemption any revenge even seeking to understand to a degree somehow has the abuse live that little bit longer in our hearts.. I absolutely agree too! πŸ™‚

      Like

  7. Oh Paula, once again you could not be more wrong, yet you continue to spout off to people as if you are some kind of expert… As a sociopath myself I can firmly refute your assertations above and provide you with a point by point rebuttle of your clumsily written and predjudiced piece of self serving fiction if you like.

    1) “…what the sociopath lacks and covets the most – integrity, passion, honesty, and value.”

    The above is rubbish. I do not covet these things, they are weakness. They are what make you (yes, you Paula) easy to exploit and manipulate

    2) “…why we eventually lose all sexual interest in them”

    Really Paula? You lost interest before the sociopath? If that is truly the case then you need to rethink whether this person was actually a sociopath at all… Do your research Paula.

    3) “No wonder we often form instant bonds with other victims/survivors, huh? We’re all awesome! Hehe!”

    No… You do this because you are weak. You do this because you are scared. Sheep do the same thing Paula.

    4) “Sociopaths know they suck and fear that we think they suck, too”

    You have never actually met a sociopath have you Paula? Your (or anyone else’s) opinion of of no interest to the sociopath unless you/it serves his purpose. You are a resource to be used. The farmer does not care what the sheep think of him.

    5) “Male sociopaths think all women are whores and that all of our decisions and choices are based on our need for penis.”

    Your worst assumption to date I believe. Sociopaths know exactly what your decisions and choices are based on, they are based on your emotions. Your desperate need to feel valued and worth something, loved even. They are very good at giving you those things when it suits them. This is how they control you and this is no-doubt how you were exploited in the first place and why you are here now preaching your crap.

    I sincerely hope that your small minded rubbish is not read (or taken seriously) by too many people as you are doing more harm than I possibly could by giving impressionable people who are looking for answers and advice a load of complete shit which will in fact leave them more vulnerable than they previously were.

    Like

    • Thank you for proving me right, SWIM. In your attempt to prove me wrong and defend yourself, you affirm what we all know to be true. You even know it’s true, otherwise you wouldn’t post with such hyper vigilance and desperation. πŸ™‚

      Like

    • You need to take a look at your own actions Paula, you give no supporting evidence, your argument is predicated on an logical fallacies, to wit:

      Argument from ignorance (appeal to ignorance, argumentum ad ignorantiam) – assuming that a claim is true because it has not been or cannot be proven false, or vice versa

      Argument from repetition (argumentum ad nauseam) – signifies that it has been discussed extensively until nobody cares to discuss it anymore

      Begging the question (petitio principii) – providing what is essentially the conclusion of the argument as a premise.

      Confirmation bias (also called confirmatory bias or myside bias) is the tendency to favor information that confirms one’s beliefs or hypotheses and to ignore information that disagrees with one’s point of view.

      Mind projection fallacy – when one considers the way one sees the world as the way the world really is.

      Moral high ground fallacy – in which one assumes a “holier-than-thou” attitude in an attempt to make oneself look good to win an argument.

      Psychologist’s fallacy – an observer presupposes the objectivity of his own perspective when analyzing a behavioral event.

      Since I have specifically given you the opinion of a sociopath I fail to see how can even begin to form a logical argument Paula. Maybe you should conduct a survey instead of relying on your singular subjective experience and assuming some great over-arching knowledge. I (a bonafide sociopath) am telling you expressly that your assumptions on the mind of a sociopath are wrong. You have 2 courses of action at this juncture:

      1) You can listen and review your opinion along with the evidence at hand

      2) You can remain ignorant

      Either way I don’t really care.

      Like

    • Thank you for concerning yourself with what you perceive to be my inherent ignorance, SWIM.

      Like

    • You are only ignorant if you choose not to learn Paula.

      You have your experience and it is subjective. Therefore you cannot presume to know the mind of another person, particularly one who is inherently different from you psychologically, it is beyond foolish to then argue that you know them better than they know themselves.

      I write openly as a sociopath, I have spent time in self reflection trying to understand why I do the things I do, why my perspective differs so much from societies norms.

      Do you have a degree in psychology? Have you studied the mind? Have you studied behavioural disorders? Have you spoken to sociopaths or psychopaths?

      Or have you formed an opinion based on none of the above but on the stories of other victims and by rationalising what happened to you in a way thats “feels” right? One that leaves you with the feeling of superiority over the sociopath?

      Perhaps it would be more healthy (rather than spend time bashing all sociopaths with clumsy penis references) to look at the root cause of the issue and address why you were selected as a victim of the sociopath? Look up target hardening and victim selection psychology.

      Like

    • Thank you, SWIM, for your continual concern and unfortunate assumptions about who I am and what I know. I honestly can’t provide you with what you need or desire, and you provide me with nothing new or inspiring either. So why not exit my site gracefully, and we can all carry on with our delusions? Thank you, in advance, for your cooperation. It’s greatly appreciated.

      Like

    • So, just to be clear: You’re choosing ignorance?

      That’s genuinely sad considering you are someone who claims to be a strong person and someone interested in helping others.

      Like

    • SWIM, I was offering you a clean exit, and you chose not to take it. Unfortunate for you but educational for the rest of us:

      You and I both know that if you really are what you claim to be, you certainly wouldn’t be concerned about “little ol’ me” spreading false information about sociopaths.

      Au contraire, mon ami!

      If I were so ignorant and wrong in my postings and writings and research, as a true sociopath, you would be encouraging me to continue, not insulting me and hoping to render me powerless in hopes that I abort all of my efforts. Namaste.

      Like

    • You can choose to believe whatever you like. However, I started my blog with the aim of dispelling some of the myths and misunderstandings surrounding the topic (some of which you are responsible for perpetuating).

      And yes, cards on the table: I don’t care that your postings make you and your little “victims club” more susceptible to future victimisation, I do however care when people are patently wrong and ignorant and preach their incorrect beliefs to the unsuspecting masses and bask in their adoration. Basically, you are wrong and it is fun to publically prove that.

      I just couldn’t resist showing everyone who reads this that you are an uneducated bigot with no idea how to correctly deal with a sociopath.

      I do of course hope you have enjoyed our little exchange as much as I have (although I doubt it…)

      Like

    • Again, thank you for bringing attention to my “pathetic” and “ignorant” and “patently wrong” “victim club” of a blog. I do not know what I would do or where I would be without the wisdom you have bestowed. I am forever grateful, oh great and powerful and all-knowing, SWIM.

      Like

    • Now you’re just being silly. And I do believe you are deliberately misquoting me, I have never used the word “pathetic” Paula.

      I am just being honest with both my opinion and my motives for posting it (I am a sociopath y’know?). I was also playing fair, I did not resort to any dirty tactics, I used only facts and reasonable arguments to put accross my side of the argument. You on the other hand have been downright rude. I could of course go into the detail of what a post with the words “small-penis brain” in the title says about the poster, if you like?

      Like

    • Hehe! You crack me up, SWIM. We obviously have very different connotations associated with being “fair,” “rude,” “honest” and “reasonable.” Should I have ignored you or screamed obscenities at you? Would that have suited your needs? Im certain it’s what you expected, and I’m really sorry that your visit to my blog did not meet your expectations. I don’t operate at such a low vibration these days. And, unfortunately, expectations have a funny way of backfiring and disappointing those who lack intuition and foresight. Oh, and I by no means am suggesting that you, Dear SWIM, lack either. How would I know anything about you, considering how incredibly stupid I am. πŸ™‚

      Like

    • Once again you are assuming… You have assumed my visit to your blog did not meet my expectations, you were wrong. I am certainly not disapointed either, although perhaps your readership will be when they see how aggressive you are…

      And once again, you are trying to put words in my mouth, I have never said that you are stupid, only that you are wrong.

      You have taken this far too personally my dear. πŸ˜‰

      Like

    • You are certainly allowed to believe what you must. Have a pleasant day.

      Like

    • Well Done Paula on your great blog & keep up all your good work πŸ™‚

      The exchange with SWIM was just another reinforcement/proof of how peculiar the Sociopath is.
      I call my ex Socio an OXYMORON as, he is a complete contradiction of himself. A walking talking incongruous paradoxical tool!

      You can never argue with someone that cannot be honest as, a good argument must at least have truth & honesty to form a relevant line of reasoning & logic for the case being touted.

      My ex would always scurry off when he was losing an argument or ‘split’ off into his other reality of denial. They do not self reflect not become self aware as they don’t have that ability.
      They can never see the effect that they have because basically they are ineffective without us.
      Using & abusing people is not a commendable trait in any shape or form nor is justification of abuse.
      I think Sociopaths are a complete waste of a life. I would rather die knowing my life was useful from a positive perspective than a negative one.

      Love & Light Always,
      PR xoxo

      Like

    • Oxymoron is a great way to describe them!! It’s useless to engage them in a discussion, because they always become arguments. It’s mind-numbing and an absolute waste of time. I’m so thankful I no longer have to live with the nonsense in my close intimate relationships. ❀

      Like

    • Me too, it’s exhilarating really πŸ™‚ Namaste Paula πŸ™‚
      We cannot afford to waste time on time wasters, life is way too short for that. πŸ™‚
      Keep being you & bravo. xoxo
      PR xoxo

      Like

  8. Wait…so you’re saying no one wants my penis…at all? No one? Jeez, I’m going to have to rethink my entire life now. Very funny post.

    Like

  9. It’s a fair amount of projection on their part too. They (usually) want to sleep with everyone and anyone, so we *must* be the same way. I know that’s where all the accusations came from towards me from the narcopath.

    Like

  10. ha ha! yes. love it.

    Like

  11. Reblogged this on Blog Of A Mad Black Woman and commented:
    I had to reblog this amusing, but true post.

    Like

  12. I did giggle at this… It is so true. Great post, and thanks for the twist of humour!

    Like

  13. This article is so spot on, Paula. A NS will attempt to tear anyone down that they fear in order to feel superior.

    Like

  14. great post! of course women can be and are socio-paths and more. Mine is a sister (adopted out). She has used, abused and tossed aside many men! In the 4 years that I’ve been writing about her she’s had 4 or is it 5 different men! They, as well as myself and family, are her victims!

    Like

    • She seems to have a clear pattern of behavior. She uses these men as tools to confront you and your other sisters. She’s a typical cowardice female sociopath. Once the man fails to match your defenses, she dumps him and finds another sucker to do her dirty work in hopes the next guy will be able to finally match you. She certainly can’t. πŸ™‚

      Like

  15. Omg. Spot on. I will go as far as having him try and tear my relationship with my son apart. Whore became such a common phrase. Made me delete every male on my phones contacts. Change my phone number. He wld watch every text that came in and know before I would who would text me because I had deleted all my contacts. “Why don’t you tell your co workers you choose us instead of texting them..” (My work revolved around cell communication). My self esteem was so obliterated I took it. I appeased him. He was in control of everything. In court he had nothing. Everything he said he wld do to me was a sham. I’m thankful for you Paula. Please continue your work. It’s never over even after divorce. BUT he can no longer make me feel what he wanted to. Never again.

    Like

    • I am so glad you were able to experience his lack of follow through with his threats. I am also grateful that you recognize your worth today. Thank you! ❀ πŸ™‚

      Like

  16. Hi Paula,

    Ditto on the whole blog & my Soc used to try & emasculate all the men I knew whom, I then defended as good decent guys & he would get annoyed etc…
    He would ask me what my girlfriends saw in their husband/partner & I would say they were great couples & he would make lewd comments re their sex lives etc…I would disengage from the conversation & change the subject.
    I recently found two of his other women & we have been in contact, They are both lovely but, the level of sexual violence has been very confronting. I appear to have gotten off lightly compared to these women.
    I am now full convinced he is a full blown Sociopath/Narcissist & have no doubt he is dangerous.
    His current lady is onto him & when his world starts falling in once again, I am concerned for her & myself as he knows we are in contact.
    He is so delusional & all his lies are verbatim. The patterning is precise & to the point of absurd.
    He is a high ranking person & if he feels threatened I am not sure what he is capable of?
    I am the first to have worked him out fully & his current lady is also well onto the pathology of him.
    My quest for answers etc…may have led me right into the lions den?

    Wish me luck! PR xoxo

    Like

    • Good luck! Always remember they need your emotional reaction to their absurdity. It fuels and charges them. Once provided, they will never stop until we disengage. ❀

      Like

  17. I love this article and your humor, Paula!

    I was accused of being a lesbian not only by my ex who is a sociopath, but also by his new victim who initially wondered why I no longer wanted the man.

    This assumption on her part came when she called me out of the blue to inform me “it’s obvious he’s sleeping with both of us.” I told her “You can only speak for yourself.”

    Apparently, he continued talking about me to her enough to compel her to do research and look me up.

    Maybe she was digging for information. Either way, she was aware that he still tried to pursue me even though he supposedly was in a new relationship with her.

    By that time, I was so far removed that I found it all hilarious that this woman could not fathom why I no longer was interested sexually or otherwise in the man she initially thought was the most wonderful man she’d ever met.

    The love-bombing with her has faded apparently — because now she knows why I don’t find him irresistible. She “admires” my boundaries, she called to let me know in recent months.

    I laugh out loud knowing that my lack of interest in him made my ex label me a lesbian — or tried to inform me I was “old” and would likely not have as many options for relationships with men moving forward.

    Nothing wrong with someone being a lesbian, but I’m not one. It simply spoke volumes that I would rather be celibate than re-engage with a man from my past who tried to keep me on his radar despite the long period I clearly showed no interest in him sexually. This was before the relationship officially ended, and long before the call from the newest victim/most recent one I am aware of.

    These pathological men indeed become repulsive at some point as we heal and honor ourselves more.

    Like

    • The lesbian accusations are what the female sociopaths like to spew. Many of us have been on the receiving end of that BS. Today, if someone suggests I’m a lesbian, I assume they are genuinely confused by my nature, and assigning me with that label, a label they fear, lets them off the hook from taking the time to understand me and gives them the green light in their twisted minds to attack me instead.

      “So what if I am a lesbian? What does my sexuality have to do with your inability to be a good person?”

      Like

    • A former friend of mine, after we had a falling out, accused me of being a lesbian. She even went so far as to blog about it. She took pleasure in stating to all and sundry that I am a lesbian (as if she’s inside my head and body and knows me better than I know myself). I have no doubt she meant this as an insult; however, I didn’t take it that way.

      The funny thing is, rather than own her part in the demise of our friendship, she chose to lay all the blame at my feet. Unfortunately, laying blame wasn’t enough for her. She had to let me know that all of her friends thought I was “strange” and “didn’t like” me. Then she took it to the next level by accusing me of being a Lesbian.

      In my humble opinion, her actions are nothing more than a sign of weakness. Rather than own it, she projected it.

      As for calling me a lesbian. I am not but if I were, I would have been terribly offended that she had an issue with it. I guess deep down she’s a homophobe.

      For the record, I am not a lesbian, but unlike my former friend, I do not open my legs for every man that shows me attention, which is her M.O. Any man that shows her attention, she “sleeps” with.

      BTW, her son is gay and although she claims she has no issue with it, I think deep down she does. Furthermore, I have read that researches believe homosexuality is passed down from the mother’s genes, not the fathers so maybe, just maybe, my Ex friend is the one who is a lesbian and in turn she’s struggling with her sexual identity.

      Again: Projection!!!!

      Like

    • it is that whole – “taking it to another level” thing that defines these loser sociopaths and makes their abuse of us so difficult…

      normal people get upset with each other – they may call names they may make a fuss – but then with the anger and frustration off their chest they will revert to normal fairly quickly…

      not the sociopathic narcissist – oh no – “taking it to another level” is their defining attribute – the loser in my life would look up my blog – would stalk me around the internet to find utterances he could use to hurt me… this happened a lot when I was learning about narcissism…

      it is there sad and pathetic MO – yours is exactly the same…

      Like

    • Well said.

      It took me a long time to realize my former friend is a narc. I’m glad she is no longer in my life. Good riddance!

      Like

    • Absolute projection!! I need two hands to count how many times I’ve been called a lesbian. Is it because I don’t compete with women and prefer complimenting women friends instead? So because I respect and value women, it can only be explained because I am sexually attracted to them and has nothing to do with being human and compassionate? Cowards suck. πŸ™‚

      Like

    • I am the same way (prefer to not compete, rather I prefer to compliment, support, build up). I have also found, the older I get the more I want women friends, that woman to woman connection (and not in a sexual way). I feel sorry for my former friend. She’s an angry unhappy woman who only feels better when she’s tearing people down. What she failed to realize is, she is the cause of her own suffering but she’s too much of a narc to notice or care.

      Cowards do indeed suck!

      BTW, I sent you a text message.

      Like

    • Good points, GforAL. I really don’t know why anyone would think calling someone a lesbian is a way to insult them. I know several gay women and most of them are reasonable and decent people.

      It amazes me that people like your friend who project absolutely do not see themselves, and refuse to take ANY ownership for their role in the demise of a friendship.

      Like

    • Hi Gemgirl & others πŸ™‚

      I am not a lesbian but, I love women & I think anyone with a compassionate heart regardless of sex is fantastic!
      Girls rock, boys rock, we all rock regardless πŸ™‚
      As long as you have empathy & compassion for others, you get my vote! πŸ™‚

      Love & Light xoxo

      Like

    • Agreed.

      People like my Ex friend need to take a long hard good look in the mirror.

      Like

  18. Oh my! That’s great! Spot on sister survivor!πŸ’œ

    Like

  19. I like your line “Every good man is a threat to them.” I have seen this in action and it is so very true. They will tear apart other kind, caring men with their sarcasm and belittling comments. They think they come off as superior, but instead completely reveal they have no connection with what it truly means to be a man.

    Like

    • It’s sad and why good men should say something in defense of themselves and the women they love. Otherwise, too many women whose first experience is with a pathological creep will think all men are the same. Even I had a temporary lapse in thinking men were only interested in me for sex. It’s simply not true. It’s absurd. Men like sex but they also love women more for our other amazing qualities. πŸ™‚

      Like

  20. The sociopath I wrote about told everyone that the reason I wrote the story was because when I went to visit him “he refused to give me any dick”. I am happily married and he knew that. He also knew that I was visiting many friends in the same town, he was just one of them and I was checking on him to make sure he was okay after he repeatedly threatened to commit suicide.

    His favorite description of me after I started writing my story was that I had once told him I wore a bikini to the beach and after he saw me in person he knew it wasn’t a bikini I was wearing, it was a hammock, because I was so fat. This is a guy that was 53 years old and used a profile picture of himself on Facebook from when he was in his twenties and told people it was “just taken last week”. In reality, he was 6′ tall and weighed about 300 pounds with a potbelly. But I never called him out on his lies about his pictures until I started telling my story.

    Recently I went searching on Ancestry.com for my own family tree and they have a Find-a-gravesite feature. After searching for my own family members I decided to find out where he was buried. I don’t know why, I was just so curious. He doesn’t have a gravesite. My guess is he is sitting in an urn somewhere.

    Then on a lark I searched for his wife’s name.

    He had told the most poignant story about his wife’s suicide and how he had lost his mind and lived on an Indian reservation for a year afterwards, trying to recover. He said this was the only place he could go to get away from it all. He claimed he chased the buffalo there. It was so remote they didn’t even have telephones.

    When he returned to society a year later, a new man, he took his wife’s ashes and released them on her favorite mountaintop and played her favorite song and he said “I let her go free.”

    Sad, huh? Still with me?

    Well guess who has a grave? Guess who was never cremated? That’s right! His wife! She’s buried in Washington state and her death date was only 4 months before he actively started posting his vile lies on Facebook on a daily basis. She died in August and he joined Facebook in November.

    I don’t know why I bother looking sometimes, but it’s like I feel compelled to find out if any of the stories he ever told me are the truth. It appears nothing he ever said was true. Not one word. One day I will run out of lies to be disproven and I will stop looking for proof that he had any decency or truth about him at all.

    One day. Maybe.

    Like

    • I guess for anyone reading my comment that doesn’t know my story, I might sound harsh. I’ll add that his threats of suicide came about when I refused to send him any more money to pay his bills and they were going to turn his electricity off. I told him I would be his friend, but I would no longer be his ATM. After doing some research I gave him several ideas for how he could pay his own bills, including getting a part time job. He wasn’t interested in my help that way. He even suggested that I Fedex my credit card to him.

      Like

    • Sure, like that would ever happen. We may be temporarily brainwashed, but we never completely lose our ability to wake the hell up from their mind games.

      Like

    • Wow! The things we eventually discover “on a lark” about these lying freaks could be the title of a book!!

      Like

    • I have never met a liar like this guy. There could be a whole series about just him and the crap he could come up with. LOL!

      Like

    • The first year my Ex and I were married he told me he would never be seen with me at the beach because I was “fat”. Imagine? I was a size 8. Let’s not even discuss how extraordinary it is that a size 8 could be heckled as “fat”.

      I struggled with an eating disorder all through my teen years. I met my Ex when I was 33. We were married when I was 35. Comments about my weight and physical appearance were (still are) my Achilles Heel and my Ex used it to the nth degree. He wielded my sensitivity about my weight/physical appearance like a sword. He used it to control/manipulate me.

      You should see his new wife. Not only is she overweight/chunky, but she is extremely unattractive. Or as my mother says, “Homely” or as my brother says, “She’s got a lot of mileage on her face.”

      I wonder what her Achilles Heel is. No doubt he’s found it.

      Like

  21. This is exactly what I am going through now and have been for years. I cannot believe that others have been so unfortunate 😦

    Like

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: