First, don’t feel ashamed for breaking No Contact. Almost all of us do it. I did it three times after I escaped. It’s almost like a necessary rite of passage to break NC just to prove we aren’t being too hasty with our decision to rid our lives of these jerks.
(Just don’t go out of your way to break NC.)
If you do break NC and discover the existence of the other woman (or other man), be cautious and control your desire to tell the OW/OM everything, especially if the OW/OM is still with the sociopath.
Sociopaths thrive on pitting people against each other in order to divert attention and anger away from the sociopath…where it truly belongs and is deserved.
If the sociopath is able to triangulate his supply against each other, his supply projects all of the anger that should be directed at the sociopath onto each other.
Victims fight against each other, which creates the drama upon which the sociopath thrives. If his supply is preoccupied with hurting and blaming each other, the sociopath escapes scrutiny and accountability, while appearing like a savior AND a victim.
Be satisfied that the OW/OM knows you exist. That’s plenty of help in itself, because the seed of doubt has been planted. It’s up to the OW/OM to germinate that seed, not you.
As for the sociopath retaliating directly if you do reach out to the OW/OM, it’s likely but not probable, especially if the sociopath can convince the OW/OM you’re nuts.
Let the sociopath do whatever the sociopath desires.
If he can’t convince the OW/OM that you’re nuts, the sociopath will try convincing everyone that you’re both crazy.
(After all, he IS the victim, remember?)
Again, resist the urge to defend yourself and your reputation. Just let the sociopath do whatever he desires. (Outside of a court setting, of course.)
Non-sociopaths simply can’t beat these fools at the destructive games they play, because non-sociopaths are not destructive people.
The truth behind the sociopath’s lies and manipulations always surfaces in time.
Besides, if you try to be like a sociopath and play the sociopath’s game, you will only break your spirit more. Take it from me, someone who learned that lesson the hard way. 🙂