Our emotions carry us away to places of self-doubt and shame when we deny them.

When we deny our emotions, we clog our intuition.

Stop denying them. Stop trying to turn your frown upside down. And stop trying to hide your joy when you are joyous.

Embrace your highly empathic nature. Embrace feeling deeply. Embrace your true nature.

Don’t keep trying to defend yourself against those labels people give you:

>> “You’re too sensitive.”

>> “You seem emotionally unstable.”

>> “You need to calm down.”

>> “You might want to see a counselor about your outbursts.”

>> “You’re crazy!”

The truth behind all of these labels is that they come from a place of fear. Your emotions and ability to release them scares the hell out of people.

So what do we do about it?

For starters, we don’t apologize for our feelings. Our feelings come from a highly intuitive place of understanding and knowing.

So we keep sharing what we feel, despite the fact there may be zero statistical evidence backing us up. And when we see another who bravely shares, we back that person up. We don’t cower and hide behind the pack.

We want things to change, right? Well, the only way to see change in the world is to exert our powerful emotions.

Once each of us starts to share, the statistics become very clear and valid.

Look what has happened in communities like this one? We started talking about things no one wanted to believe was true, and now we have numbers that prove that what we have seen and felt all along are absolutely valid and absolutely real.

Never underestimate your gut and the domino effect and power it can invoke to unearth the voice of a collective gut.

A collective gut changes the world.

Wow! Really!


domestic violence, Emotional Abuse, Family, Forgiveness, Friends, Health, mindfulness, Peace, Recovery, Relationships, Self Improvement, Spirituality
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Join the conversation! 3 Comments

  1. This is so true. Too many people don’t speak up and I’ve been guilty of this myself. I’m working actively on this, in my own way. I think it’s really smashed into us with those statements you have inside quotes.

    I remember hearing plenty of them from my family. My mom would be annoyed with me when I showed high emotion especially as I got older. I remember the disappointment when I would be in the depths of depression or the annoyance at my happy excitement about something in particular. She said something (I can’t remember what now) to show me she was annoyed and wanted me to calm down.

    It was disappointing that she wasn’t excited for me. And when there’s so much of that over and over it’s like pushing through thick concrete walls to overcome it.

    In addition to that I’ve been stopping myself from things presently because of projection to what others might think.

    Now that’s annoying as well as life destroying.

    Thanks. You’re this post and the last one is helping me to stay inspired.


  2. I agree with Gemgirl 100% and your post Paula. When I started blogging about this I had found a handful of people talking about it in strictly a clinical and “removed” sort of way, but in the past 3 years I have seen such a growth in people speaking out intelligently and from personal experience and that is what gets the message through to people and makes it “real”. It takes courage to speak out but once it starts it grows. While I was going though it, in the middle of the confusion and drama and trauma of abuse I kept thinking to myself, “If I can be brought to this state of total self doubt and insecurity at my age (50+) after years of being self sufficient and knowing I am capable and attractive and not deserving of this treatment; what hope does a young girl with no experience have?”
    Now I feel I am part of some revolution, I am proud to be included with a bunch of people I respect for their courage, intelligence and commitment to change. I believe if anything is going to bring change about it is a bunch of caring individuals speaking out. Something not possible before the internet. Now people from all corners of the world can untie their voices. Something can not be denied if enough people say the same thing and have the same experiences. It wasn’t until I started writing about my experiences and people started saying OMG that happened to me too; that I really believed I wasn’t crazy. If all these people experienced the same things I did then I am not crazy. It was such a relief.
    You were one of the first women I read and gave me the courage to really speak out and be totally honest with my experiences. You are a great inspiration Paula and have such a wonderful caring heart. I am honored to know you.


  3. Beautiful words, Paula!

    I was just thinking about this today. I asked myself what good is it to have gifts of empathy and insight when it seems one gets punished more for having legitimate feelings and responses, than not.

    I thought about the fact that so many of the women who are now writing about narcissistic/sociopathic abuse are very intelligent and decent human beings. They were victimized and became survivors who learned how to turn what they experienced into powerful words with deep insights they now share with the world.

    Why were some of the best and brightest targeted for take-down by pathological people? Who knows…

    Perhaps they would have not been able to hear the urgings of their soul to do the hard work of healing so they would be equipped to help educate the public about pathology, had they not experienced it up close and personally.

    I don’t know this for sure — that some massive movement will evolve to challenge the ingrained patterns of thinking that suggest abuse is acceptable as part of relationships, families, communities, institutions,etc. — but this thought came from my gut.

    All I know is that the survivors of narcissistic/sociopathic abuse are among some of the most reasonable and inspiring people I have met in online communities.

    I am very clear about that.

    Your words are in that category.


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