This is a bit of a rant. I don’t rant much. (Or maybe I do.) Let’s blame it on the cardinal cross…
People wonder why I get so angry when it comes to the sociopath, the boy in my story. They wonder why I can’t just stop wishing he’d die and why I continue praying he has no children. I must have had my heart completely crushed to be able to get so fueled by the thought of the sociopath still breathing?
No. My heart was not broken by the sociopath. Coming to the realization that there are people out there with zero empathy, zero ability to be remorseful and absolutely zero remnants of a working conscience broke my spirit. A broken spirit stings and bleeds more profusely than any broken heart I’ve ever experienced. Nothing compares to coming face-to-face with the crushing reality that everything you love is everything another absolutely hates and tries to destroy.
I’m angry because the sociopath from my past is just a representation of the millions of heartless, cruel, selfish animals walking among us feigning care and concern. Fake, counterfeit people who suck the life out of people like me and many of the wonderful men and women I have met through my writing.
I am not fake. I am not counterfeit. I truly care, and I am truly concerned. Sociopaths insult my very existence. Sociopaths make what I’m made of seem easily acquired and copied when what I am made of can never be 100% duplicated.
The sociopath might get the expressions right, he might be able to repeat my words or steal my story and pretend it’s his own. Yes. Anyone can make cosmetic changes to their facade. It’s not very hard.
But what the sociopath can NEVER duplicate is what’s going on inside my soul.
The sociopath will never see the things I see. The sociopath will never feel the joy or the pain I feel. The sociopath will never be able to express love for another the way I do. The sociopath will never know unconditional love the way I know unconditional love.
No sociopath will.
Healing from my broken spirit and from my collective realizations takes an everyday effort. I remind myself every day to remain hopeful that good will triumph…despite the shitty news I read and watch every day.
Yes. I am absolutely angry. I am angry because too many of us just sit back too fearful to speak out against what can only be described as unfair treatment of others.
We see people getting berated by a boss or co-worker. Most of us say nothing. Why take the chance of being the one who gets thrown under the bus next?
We see a customer ahead of us in line being nasty to the cashier. We say nothing. That customer might turn around and hit us. Goodness gracious, we can’t get involved in something so distasteful, can we?
We watch a mother or a father scream at their children at the bus stop. It’s none of our business to get involved, is it? Again, we might end up in a fist fight, and we don’t want to invite THAT kind of behavior into our lives.
But it’s okay to sit back and judge all of those people who do stand up, get knocked down and then stand up again ready to fight…again and again and again. It’s okay to call those people crazy?
It’s okay to judge those people who speak the words everyone else is too cowardice to speak and somehow think being cowardice is really being intelligent and moral?
Morality is standing up, speaking out and fighting against the shit you see that is wrong. Immoral behavior is when you know the emperor is naked but you go along with the crowd, pretending to admire the bare-ass emperor’s clothes, anyway.
Really? People are proud to be this type of intelligent coward? Intelligent cowards?
I am a highly empathic person. I love being alive and have always loved seeing others happy. I have always gone out of my way to be fair or to let someone else win who seems to need that “victory” more than I ever did.
But I’m learning that it’s my turn to let myself win for a change. It’s my turn to stop being afraid of the punches that will inevitably land square on my chin. It’s my turn to just say, “Screw you, intelligent cowards. That guy is buck naked!!”
Yes. I am planning a party and not everyone is invited. That party is my life. And those uninvited are those who remain keen on being intelligent cowards.
Who else is ready to plan their next party and not invite everyone you once felt obligated to invite just to seem like a good person?
I don’t care if people call me crazy or call me angry or tell me I’m out of control, because I know I care now more than ever before, my anger is finally well-directed and I’m in more control of my thoughts today than I have ever been.
Many will think it unwise to be my friend. That’s okay. I understand. It’s never been wise to be friends with folks who most consider are crazy, because people might think you’re crazy for being friends with a crazy person. I get it.
I guess it makes no difference to me. I’ve got lots of friends others have judged as crazy (besides myself), and it hasn’t affected my ability to keep growing and learning and working and making a living.
And I’ve done it without kissing ass, bullying people, degrading people or getting people to feel sorry for me. That’s what sociopaths do. They cry and lie and cheat their way through life.
Don’t let them fool you. You don’t have to do any of those things to be successful. You don’t have to lie and cheat. That’s a myth sociopaths like to spin. They spin this myth, because they are too lazy to earn their success. And that is the key: you have to work hard and be confident that you are just as smart, just as capable and just as worthy as the next person. If more good people stop trying to follow the lead of the sociopath in their lives and instead do the hard work, more and more sociopaths will be pushed aside. They’ll be pushed out of corporations, out of governments, out of churches and out of communities.
Survival of the fittest. It’s true. The concept is true. But too many of us have fed into the quick fixes all these scamming sociopaths like to throw up to divert us from the real work required for fulfilling lives.
There are no short cuts in life. Don’t let that moron sociopath make you think there is. That moron sociopath is just too lazy to do the hard work and if you don’t do the hard work, the sociopath has an excuse for being a liar and a cheater.
Don’t be a liar and a cheater. If more of us started living authentic and mindfully and not always looking for instant gratification, the sociopath’s way of being would never cross our minds. Ever.
And when a sociopath does cross our paths, it will be that much easier to spot them and say, “Hit the road, scumbag!”