Most of us don’t address our anger as it arises and instead allow anger to sit and fester. When we do this, our anger grows and overpowers all of the other sensations we experience, including feelings of happiness and joy.
Over time, this build-up of anger makes us seem like angry people to the outside world. If we’re confronted about our built-up anger, our immediate response is to say, “No way! I’m not angry!”
And that statement may be true in the moment. You may not recognize that you are holding inside unresolved, unaddressed anger. Being told by someone that they think you’re angry makes you more angry. It’s such an unfortunate cycle.
Why do we hold in our anger? Why do we try to hide it and not address it?
The simple answer is that most of us were conditioned to believe that being angry is not good. So when we feel angry, we feel like we’re somehow not good, and the last thing we want others to see is our anger for fear they’ll judge us as not good. And the sad irony is that this fear actually makes us internally more angry and ashamed of ourselves. How unfair.
The first step toward releasing years of engrained, unaddressed anger is to accept that being angry is NOT a sign of weakness or a sign that we are emotionally unstable or bad people.
Anger is a natural emotion and deserves our attention.
Once you accept this, you can start dissecting those things from your past that made you angry. You can start releasing the anger freely through writing or through discussions with those you trust.
Don’t be ashamed to express this anger. We must move through it, not side step it. Denying our anger or any emotion is unhealthy and toxic. Denying our anger makes us sick physically, emotionally and spiritually. People don’t want to be around us when we’re sick. They just don’t.
Once we address all that anger we swept under the rug, we become more accepting of any new frustrations and situations that anger us. We immediately begin to recognize the sensation of anger, and we learn to patiently move through it. We no longer shame ourselves or judge ourselves for feeling angry.
When we can do this with all of our emotions and sensations, we experience freedom.
And when someone reacts to us and says, “I think you’re angry,” don’t be ashamed. Say, “Yes, I am angry.”
Own your emotions. You’ll be amazed at how your world opens up when you do and at how quickly you can resolve your anger to make room to fully embrace other more enjoyable emotions that come over you. No more unaddressed anger clogging the path for happiness and joy to reach our consciousness.