According to Martha Stout, PhD and author of “The Sociopath Next Door,” the hallmark of a sociopath (outside all of the obvious traits and characteristics used to identify one) is his/her desperate need to be pitied. Being pitied validates the sociopath. Once validated, the sociopath is free to behave just as he/she has always behaved with zero remorse or need for accountability. Pitying the sociopath keeps the sociopath in a perpetual state of delusion.

Read my latest Communities Digital News article:

Oscar Pistorius testifies and seeks pity in the aftermath of killing Reeva Steenkamp


Join the conversation! 5 Comments

  1. I just wish everyone was as “up to speed” on the sociopath’s manipulative traits and tactics as we are here in this forum. We have all experienced it firsthand (that’s what brought us here initially), but the majority of the populace has never come face-to-face with such evil to be able to recognize Oscar’s display as nothing more than a common pity ploy used to manipulate the judge, jury and general public. Unfortunately most people will swallow his plea for redemption and mercy hook, line and sinker. Ignorance of this personality disorder is what gives sociopaths their strength and power. Without plenty of ignorant dupes in the population, sociopaths would get by with a lot less of their evil antics. The problem is, it is very hard to teach others about sociopaths – the only effective way to learn about them is by becoming a victim or target of one and having your life shattered. It is definitely learning the hard way, but I think the only way to convince yourself that this disorder truly does exist. It’s so contrary to everything we consider normal for humans that we tend to deny it could even be possible for some to have these traits. Forums such as this help to spread the word to some extent, but only those affected personally by a sociopath are drawn to such a forum in the first place. So that makes us kind of an exclusive group of past victims, targets and pawns – or “empaths” as we are called. The ignorant majority of the population along with the enablers, minions and disciples, are out there just waiting to be manipulated, conned and drawn into the sociopath’s web. Sociopaths have an unlimited supply of people they can recruit to blindly support them and believe their lies. So all we can do is keep speaking out far and wide and hope some people heed our message.


  2. Paula, excellent article! So so typical!!! its all about him and what he is going through. Why can’t the judicial system see through that? Society? I remember my life was threatened because of Jc”s actions one time, He wrote me a letter later saying he was sorry, by the middle of the letter he was telling me how selfish I was for not seeing his side and what he went through.
    Unbelievable they have the audacity to say it out loud.


    • I can’t believe they allowed him up there to say the things he was saying. His attorneys are clearly as delusional as him. And anytime facts about how Reeva died were presented, he’d cover his face and his ears. He didn’t want to listen; he refused to face the facts of what he did!! It is so obvious. 😦


  3. yes! I always love seeing your work on this subject. I saw he was in the new again and was wondering if you would be doing a piece. Great writing, my friend. I like how you point out how a “guilty, accountable” person would act. We see he is not displaying any of these behaviors. I agree with you- he cries, but he cries for himself.


    • It’s so maddening, isn’t it? I woke up to this on the news. I couldn’t NOT write something. This display and pity ploy sealed it for me, and I’m sure it sealed it for many of us.


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