No Contact isn’t easy to maintain.
In the early months of recovery, not only are you detoxing from the addiction of being totally dependent upon the sociopath for emotional validation and support, you are also going through the natural rumination and bargaining phase of grief.
And the grief is multi-layered! You are not only grieving the loss of a relationship, but you’re also grieving the loss of a fantasy you thought was real.
You want answers. You demand answers, dammit! So you erroneously think the sociopath will give them to you. You contemplate breaking No Contact.
Reaching out to the sociopath will inevitably harm you. The sociopath will do 1 of 4 things:
1. Ignore you, causing you to question yourself more. (Stonewaller)
2. Respond to you with hate and vile, causing you to question yourself more. (Persecutor)
3. Respond to you with feigned concern, telling you that you’re sick and need professional help, causing you to question yourself even more. (Savior Complex)
4. Respond to you with a weak apology and love bombing to suck you back in, causing you to question yourself more. (Pity Ploy)
All of these responses give the sociopath power and control over you. The sociopath feeds off of your desperation.
Do you want to continue this merry-go-round? Or do you finally want to break free from the craziness?
You know what you need to do…
(Image source: http://pinterest.com/pin/545428204843094244/)