I’m a Narcissist Slayer. Narc Slayer for short. I know several other Narc Slayers. I bet you do, too.
Roughly two (2) years ago when I started actively writing on this blog about my experience with the boy in my story, I never imagined that one day I would be awarded with a Narc Slayer Award. But that day has arrived, and I couldn’t be more thrilled.
Kim, the very talented and insightful blogger over at Let me Reach with Kim Saeed, presented me (along with ten (10) other bloggers/Narc Slayers) with this honor on December 13. Thank you, Kim!
Check out her full post and the others she awarded.
Like all blog awards, I have a responsibility as a recipient. I must:
1. Thank the person who nominated me and link back to them. CHECK!
2. Place the award logo on my blog. CHECK!
3. Write a blog post and nominate other blogs for the award – there is no minimum or maximum number of blogs required to nominate. CHECK!
4. Inform my nominees on their site that I have chosen them for the honor. CHECK!
5. Share one positive thing I took away from my relationship with the Narcissist.
Well, crap! I can do 1 – 4 with relative ease. But #5 stings my eyes just reading the words. Something positive? Other than the fact that going through hell has given me a greater appreciation for all of the beautiful people and encounters I experience on a daily basis, the positives are best described as things I have learned as a result of the toxic relationship:
I learned how NOT to live and navigate this world.
I learned that I may make mistakes, but those mistakes do not have to define who I am forever and eternity. I’m allowed to change and be better without constant and repeated shaming.
I learned that love has always been abundantly present in my life. I was just too stupid and blind to recognize and appreciate it. (I love you, George!)
I learned that loving with my whole heart is possible and even more fullfilling when I am with those who also love with their whole hearts.
I learned that change is possible, real change, as long as I remember that falling down doesn’t mean something’s over; it means I get a chance to try again with greater insight and understanding.
I learned that love truly is patient and kind; but in order to receive it, I must really love and value myself first.
I learned that regardless of how alone and powerless I feel when it comes to any and all challenges life throws my way, there is someone, many someones, out here who feel as I feel and desperately do not want to feel alone either.
I learned that there is strength in numbers and anything is possible if I simply have faith…faith in myself…faith in my family…faith in my friends…faith in God.
I learned that I do believe in something greater than myself and that something is with me every day as long as I never stop believing.
I learned that judgment truly is the root of evil, and that judgment of others begins when we judge ourselves. I’m finding peace in just being and not judging.
I learned that stating facts and responses to how I was treated are not judgments and that silence only encourages evil and abuse to perpetuate, grow and fester.
I learned that injustices eventually “get served” and that good truly does triumph over evil. However, unlike the drama-fueled victories depicted in movies, real-world victories are far more subtle and happen unexpectedly. There’s no applause or obnoxious cheering, but there are many silent smiles and feelings of validation and accomplishment.
Above all, I learned that patience is my best friend. (I wish I had met her sooner!)
Namaste!
~Paula
© 2014 Paula Carrasquillo and Paula’s Pontifications
24 responses to “What I Learned from Living Through Hell – The Narcissist Slayer Award and Nominees”
[…] She is Paula from Paula’s Pontifications. […]
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Ok Paula, here it is… http://myabandonedself.com/2014/01/04/the-narcissist-slayer-award/
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Yah!! ❤
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🙂
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[…] my blogger BFF Paula over at Paula’s Pontifications nominated me for the Narcissist Slayer Award (Narc Slayer for […]
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Paula,
I love this particular statement: “I learned that stating facts and responses to how I was treated are not judgments and that silence only encourages evil and abuse to perpetuate, grow and fester.”
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Congratulations Paula 🙂
Thanks for speaking your truth & speaking out with such guts & determination. You deserve this award & I applaud & cheer you on 🙂
Many are walking in your footprints & many walk in your shoes & no-one is alone anymore 🙂
Goodluck & continued success in every aspect of your life 🙂
Love & Light 🙂
PR xoxo
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Reblogged this on Madeline Scribes and commented:
An amazing writer and someone who helped me learn to slay narcs too.
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Congrats Paula!! you are most deserving of this award. \I love what you learned.
You’ve come along way my friend, and left the a…wipe in your dust. that is justice.
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Beautifully said…….Keep calm and slay on! Again, thank you and congrats! May 2014 be a year for triumphed slayers around the world!
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I came here from a PTSD group on Facebook. I hav enot been in a relationship with a narc (I’ve been in other aubsive situations) but I can relate ot many of the things you’ve learned from your abusive relationship. Congratulations on the narc slayer award!
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Thank you, Astrid. I wonder if we follow the same PTSD page? 🙂
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Happy New Year from Blog Mommas!
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Thank you Paula. We’re a force, all of us shedding light on these dark-loving monsters. It’s a team effort.
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Cheers to Narc Slayers !! We will prevail !
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Congratulations Paula and thank you for your contribution ❤
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Congrats Paula…your posts help shine lights in places that need to be lit, they offer great hope to many, please continue!
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Congratulations!
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Hi Paula!
Thank you for the nomination!!
I have to go shovel out from our recent New England snow storm. 😦
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Very well said! thank you
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Woo Hoo! Go Paula! (Shaking pom-poms) 🙂
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Hehe! Thank you so much, Kim!
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Yay!!! Thank you Paula!!! Love you!
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You’re welcome!
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