Narcissist Slayer Award - Paula's PontificationsI’m a Narcissist Slayer. Narc Slayer for short. I know several other Narc Slayers. I bet you do, too.

Roughly two (2) years ago when I started actively writing on this blog about my experience with the boy in my story, I never imagined that one day I would be awarded with a Narc Slayer Award. But that day has arrived, and I couldn’t be more thrilled.

Kim, the very talented and insightful blogger over at Let me Reach with Kim Saeed, presented me (along with ten (10) other bloggers/Narc Slayers) with this honor on December 13. Thank you, Kim!

Check out her full post and the others she awarded.

Like all blog awards, I have a responsibility as a recipient. I must:

1. Thank the person who nominated me and link back to them. CHECK!

2. Place the award logo on my blog. CHECK!

3. Write a blog post and nominate other blogs for the award – there is no minimum or maximum number of blogs required to nominate. CHECK!

>> Deliberate Donkey

>> My Abandoned Self ©

>> Madeline Scribes

4. Inform my nominees on their site that I have chosen them for the honor. CHECK!

5. Share one positive thing I took away from my relationship with the Narcissist.

Well, crap! I can do 1 – 4 with relative ease. But #5 stings my eyes just reading the words. Something positive? Other than the fact that going through hell has given me a greater appreciation for all of the beautiful people and encounters I experience on a daily basis, the positives are best described as things I have learned as a result of the toxic relationship:

I learned how NOT to live and navigate this world.

I learned that I may make mistakes, but those mistakes do not have to define who I am forever and eternity. I’m allowed to change and be better without constant and repeated shaming.

I learned that love has always been abundantly present in my life. I was just too stupid and blind to recognize and appreciate it. (I love you, George!)

I learned that loving with my whole heart is possible and even more fullfilling when I am with those who also love with their whole hearts.

I learned that change is possible, real change, as long as I remember that falling down doesn’t mean something’s over; it means I get a chance to try again with greater insight and understanding.

I learned that love truly is patient and kind; but in order to receive it, I must really love and value myself first.

I learned that regardless of how alone and powerless I feel when it comes to any and all challenges life throws my way, there is someone, many someones, out here who feel as I feel and desperately do not want to feel alone either.

I learned that there is strength in numbers and anything is possible if I simply have faith…faith in myself…faith in my family…faith in my friends…faith in God.

I learned that I do believe in something greater than myself and that something is with me every day as long as I never stop believing.

I learned that judgment truly is the root of evil, and that judgment of others begins when we judge ourselves. I’m finding peace in just being and not judging.

I learned that stating facts and responses to how I was treated are not judgments and that silence only encourages evil and abuse to perpetuate, grow and fester.

I learned that injustices eventually “get served” and that good truly does triumph over evil. However, unlike the drama-fueled victories depicted in movies, real-world victories are far more subtle and happen unexpectedly. There’s no applause or obnoxious cheering, but there are many silent smiles and feelings of validation and accomplishment.

Above all, I learned that patience is my best friend. (I wish I had met her sooner!)


© 2014 Paula Carrasquillo and Paula’s Pontifications

abuse, Child abuse, Children, Cluster B disorders, domestic violence, Emotional Abuse, Family, Forgiveness, Friends, Health, Humor, Kids, Lessons, Love, Mental Health, mindfulness, Narcissist, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Narcissistic Sociopath, NPD, Peace, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychopaths, PTSD, Rape, Recovery, Relationships, Self Improvement, Sociopaths, Spirituality, Writing
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Join the conversation! 24 Comments

  1. […] She is Paula from Paula’s Pontifications. […]


  2. […] my blogger BFF Paula over at Paula’s Pontifications nominated me for the Narcissist Slayer Award (Narc Slayer for […]


  3. Paula,
    I love this particular statement: “I learned that stating facts and responses to how I was treated are not judgments and that silence only encourages evil and abuse to perpetuate, grow and fester.”


  4. Congratulations Paula 🙂

    Thanks for speaking your truth & speaking out with such guts & determination. You deserve this award & I applaud & cheer you on 🙂
    Many are walking in your footprints & many walk in your shoes & no-one is alone anymore 🙂
    Goodluck & continued success in every aspect of your life 🙂
    Love & Light 🙂
    PR xoxo


  5. Reblogged this on Madeline Scribes and commented:
    An amazing writer and someone who helped me learn to slay narcs too.


  6. Congrats Paula!! you are most deserving of this award. \I love what you learned.
    You’ve come along way my friend, and left the a…wipe in your dust. that is justice.


  7. Beautifully said…….Keep calm and slay on! Again, thank you and congrats! May 2014 be a year for triumphed slayers around the world!


  8. I came here from a PTSD group on Facebook. I hav enot been in a relationship with a narc (I’ve been in other aubsive situations) but I can relate ot many of the things you’ve learned from your abusive relationship. Congratulations on the narc slayer award!


  9. Happy New Year from Blog Mommas!


  10. Thank you Paula. We’re a force, all of us shedding light on these dark-loving monsters. It’s a team effort.


  11. Cheers to Narc Slayers !! We will prevail !


  12. Congratulations Paula and thank you for your contribution ❤


  13. Congrats Paula…your posts help shine lights in places that need to be lit, they offer great hope to many, please continue!


  14. Hi Paula!

    Thank you for the nomination!!

    I have to go shovel out from our recent New England snow storm. 😦


  15. Very well said! thank you


  16. Woo Hoo! Go Paula! (Shaking pom-poms) 🙂


  17. Yay!!! Thank you Paula!!! Love you!


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