We know they can fake an empathetic stance and act like they care. They do this with brilliant believability in the beginning idolization and repeated grooming phases of the relationship.
But they can’t feel the emotions that empathy naturally necessitates. They can’t demonstrate true empathy in words or actions or in their treatment of us.
If we are feeling hurt emotionally due to insensitive treatment by the sociopath, the sociopath, in turn, succeeds in hurting and crushing us even more by criticizing us for being emotional!
Why? Why do sociopaths not recognize our pain and attempt to alleviate it rather than exacerbate it?
The only explanation is that sociopaths are somehow denied the ability to feel or have emotions of their own and, as a result, are convinced that emotions are a sign of weakness. After all, how can anything the sociopath doesn’t possess or can’t experience have worth?
But the irony is that sociopaths are fueled by our emotions!! They need our emotions. When we cry or get angry, the sociopath perceives our emotions as their cue, their green light, to destroy us.
They hate emotions and love to destroy what they hate.
So what better way to “hurt” a sociopath than by being emotionless in the face of their abuse? What better way to get a sociopath to lose interest in you than by not reacting to them?
This is why no contact is so important! You’ve exhausted yourself in hopes of getting answers. And you know by now that nothing true or real will ever come from any more questions and pleadings on your part. Further questions and pleadings will simply fuel the sociopath and encourage the sociopath to continue the avoidance and projection games.
Nothing will ever be resolved.
So you are left to accept the sociopath for the incomplete person the sociopath is and to detach emotionally from an emotionless being. It’s really simple and very easy once you put it into practice.
© 2013 Paula Carrasquillo and Paula’s Pontifications.