turn_awayEvery projection the sociopath spews in your direction is soaked with the truth of who and what the sociopath is, not of who or what you are.

Sweet, huh?

(‘To project’ is what guilty people in denial do in hopes of making everyone else feel as empty and as dark as the guilty person in denial feels. Guilty people not in denial are able to face their ‘crimes’ and be accountable for their crimes; they don’t project blame onto others. Instead, guilty people not in denial take full responsibility for their behavior and carry their shame upon their backs until they die.) 

Now back to the sociopath who is always guilty and always in denial.

>> When the sociopath tells you that you are a worthless whore, he’s actually revealing his promiscuous past and his sexual exploits and abuses of others.

>> When the sociopath tells you that men/women are only interested in you because they want to have sex with you, the sociopath is telling you that the sociopath is only interested in you for sex.

>> When the sociopath tells you that your best friend is not worthy of being your best friend, the sociopath is actually revealing that you shouldn’t trust the sociopath to be your friend.

>> When the sociopath tells you that your family doesn’t really love you and is just enabling you, the sociopath is telling you that the sociopath’s family is loveless and just tolerates each other because it looks better to seem like a loving family.

>> When the sociopath tells you that your son isn’t lovable and that your son only says loving things to you in order to manipulate you, the sociopath is telling you that the sociopath doesn’t love his own mother and is only nice to her to get her to do things for him.

>> When the sociopath tells you that you’re a liar, the sociopath is really confessing that the sociopath is the one who has been lying to you from the beginning of the relationship.

>> When the sociopath accuses you of being selfish and not putting the relationship first, the sociopath is telling you that the sociopath is an egotistical jerk who doesn’t really care about you or the relationship beyond having something to control.

>> When the sociopath tells you that you’re crazy, sick, bipolar and borderline, the sociopath is revealing the sociopath’s deep-rooted, psychological issues that the sociopath has been fighting against his entire life.

You can place a solid bet on the fact that anything ugly and judgmental that comes out of the sociopath’s mouth against you or another person is actually a self-observing statement of the sociopath by the sociopath.

Who says the sociopath isn’t reflective!?! The sociopath is always reflective!? The sociopath is so caught up in his own reflection that he confuses himself with everyone else when he glances up on occasion and sees us standing there. The sociopath ONLY has the capacity to see himself in all things and all people. He can’t think outside of himself, making him mediocre, not genius or evolved like he’d like us all to believe.

(Don’t, for a second, give consideration to the self-professing sociopath’s claim that sociopaths possess a genius or an above-average intelligence. It’s a crock of BS. Some sociopaths may be more able to go unnoticed longer than other sociopaths making these sociopaths seem intelligent in their manipulations. But none of them have brains and abilities as marvelous and as agile as non-sociopaths. And none of them can overpower a non-sociopath who has finally caught on to who and what the sociopath is.)

Once you see this and accept this, the easier it becomes to detach from all the bullshit accusations the sociopath throws in your direction. We should simply deflect the sociopath’s accusations back. We should hold up our shield and allow the sociopath’s own words, his weapons, to destroy the sociopath. It’s really an effortless approach.

How do we do that? How do we deflect the accusations without looking as ridiculous as the sociopath?

We say nothing. We just let the sociopath spew. He’ll eventually realize the only one who is listening to him is himself. He’ll eventually shut up or find another audience that will listen to his pity party, because he can’t stand recognizing that he’s the only one paying attention and that he’s talking to himself about himself.

Although few say anything about what their gut is telling them about the sociopath, every one of us sees through the sociopath’s projections. It’s just easier to say nothing than to deal with the wrath of a bruised and injured psychopath, don’t you agree?

After all, they are dangerous and predictable in the harm they are capable of inflicting, and it’s best not to provoke them. Just keep deflecting by saying nothing and remaining silent.

Namaste!
~Paula

(image source: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/408701734905122917/)


© 2013 Paula Carrasquillo and Paula’s Pontifications.

Category:
abuse, Cluster B disorders, domestic violence, Emotional Abuse, Family, Forgiveness, Friends, Health, Lessons, Love, Mental Health, mindfulness, Narcissist, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Narcissistic Sociopath, Peace, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychopaths, PTSD, Recovery, Relationships, Self Improvement, Social Studies, Sociopaths, Spirituality
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Join the conversation! 26 Comments

  1. Really blessed to have found this website. Re: projections. When I made it clear of my boundary with the ex socio/narc that it was best that he move out if he wanted to remain friends he walked up to me and gently put his hands on my shoulder and wanted me to know I was not a bad person. I said, I know I”m not a bad person. He kept saying I just want you to know that and then I watched him unravel, talk under his breathe, saying things like stupid, Fuch, fuched up and I kept asking myself is he talking to me or himself? You’re not a bad person was that really meant for him to not feel bad about the things he did behind my back or for me not to feel bad I was keeping him out?

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    • He said that to make you have doubts about your own worth. He thought he knew your cracks and weaknesses, and like a “good” sociopath, he drove a knife into one hoping it would ooze and become an all-consuming infection.

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  2. It’s refreshing to see honest post in the blogosphere – needs much more of it!

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  3. Hey, I am respectful of the article, however I must comment that nothing is as black and white as your list states. It’s a bit like this whole “I know you are but what am I” sort of thing, it’s a bit too polarising and comes off as emotionally and psychologically immature to think that when someone says this it really means this etc.

    >> When the sociopath tells you that men/women are only interested in you because they want to have sex with you, the sociopath is telling you that the sociopath is only interested in you for sex. : There are plenty of people (in or out of a relationship) who only show interest in the opposite sex because of purely wanting to have sex with them. This is in many ways the sickness of our society with messed up values etc as well as a primal thing that exists in all of us that we must control with grace.

    >> When the sociopath tells you that your best friend is not worthy of being your best friend, the sociopath is actually revealing that you shouldn’t trust the sociopath to be your friend. – My ex’s best friend was a complete let-down and would go on about how all men are crap etc, yet get in bad relationships constantly and also have a crowd of men around her whenever she’d go out and string them all along and get them to buy her drinks whilst she gets drunk and uses them. She’s as bad as the men she’s disappointed in, in this regard. This same girl wouldn’t tell my ex the full story about different things, as well as another one of her ‘best friends’ who actually spoke badly of my ex a lot; TO ME. Yet I never told her that her friend had been doing this.

    We all do bits of these things from your list from time to time depending on where our knowledge is at and how our information is gathered. I’ve been reading these sort of sites for a good few months now since my ex-girlfriend broke up with me. Myself, my family and my closest friends suspect her to be a narcissistic sociopath – all of my closest people had told me for years to get out and I always thought she wasn’t JUST this person etc, all that stuff, and I kept going with it and apologising for things I didn’t even need to, even if she was in the wrong and had done all of the things she kept trying to get me not to do etc.

    There’s a lot more weighty philosophy, perspectives and outlooks than drawing the line and labelling people as sociopaths for those things in your list – that’s pretty dangerous I think to people who are trying to figure out if their spouse/friend is a sociopath.

    Best regards and thank you for putting information out there. x

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    • I’m afraid things ARE black and white with a sociopath. If one tries to make sense and find excuses for repeat and sustained behavior over several months and years, then one will stay stuck in the pit with these types of abusers. So calling a spade a spade is not dangerous; it definitive, leaving no more questions to ponder. One can’t make sense of the senseless no matter how far back you try to go to explain away the behavior or attempt to compare your own misdeeds to a sociopath’s, which is the sociopath’s hope. Your friends and family often see things you yourself can not due to being so close and having formed the faux love bond you formed. This is a single post out of over 400 and meant for people who are not in denial about how they were fooled, tricked and manipulated into continuing to give their abusers the benefit of the doubt.

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  4. Hi there Paula,
    thank you for what you are writing and for liking my poem.
    seashell

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  5. […] Turn Away from the Sociopath’s Projections (paularenee.wordpress.com) […]

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  6. I started catching on to this at the end. He would always say his ex-wife’s a flake, but she was the one raising his son while he lived elsewhere doing whatever he wanted. (Duh: he is the flake.) But one day I asked him why he calls her a flake and he looked at me with his big creepy eyes, boring into my soul: “She’s bipolar.” And right there it all made sense. I feel like he confessed to me his mental illness and all the pieces fit together. Then he looked down, mumbled under his breath without looking at me, “I’m not just saying that because I’m the disgruntled ex … ” (translation, yes, I *am* just saying that because I’m the disgruntled ex.)

    Thank you for your honest and spot-on writing. Your site has helped me to see what I was dealing with and get away quicker than if I didn’t know what was going on. I was in a fog for a long time, felt upside down.

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  7. […] Turn Away from the Sociopath’s Projections (paularenee.wordpress.com) […]

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  8. What a great article that validated everything I was seeing AND regarding my feelings of responding. Thank you!

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  9. Hi Paula 🙂

    Yes another great post & you are obviously writing heaps, keep up the good work 🙂
    My Soc did most of the above projections etc…so they are very predictable the world over. I often wonder how come they are so alike & so cloned? It amazes me because we are all different & our patterns vary extremely yet the Soc is like one entity in numerous forms? Weird & creepy 😦
    My Soc would say when I was telling him something true, that “something was dripping from my mouth” & then would lean over & wipe my mouth & say “oh it’s just a bit of bullshit!” I would then be left justifying what I said whilst he sat with a smug look on his face & laugh! Ha!
    If I had known he was a Soc then, geeze I would have let him have it 😉 😉
    Oh well, he was the one that said he met the Rolling Stones etc…no proof so, BS was the name of his delusional game.
    I know now that I was so worried about meeting another dysfunctional person that I set myself up & gave my Soc the perfect opportunity to come in & play Mr nice guy & goody two shoes.
    When in fact he was far worse than any other dysfunctional person I’d ever known.
    Still my lesson has been well & truly learnt & burnt & up from the ashes I continue to rise, I’d rather be me any day with all my imperfections than a stooge pretending & projecting.

    Love & light always to you & all who follow you 🙂
    PR xoxo

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    • I think lacking a conscience only leads to being one way and that’s an empty and ugly way. Those of us with a conscience consider so many factors and scenarios before we consider our actions. Our behavior is NOT predictable. I’m sure it frustrates these fools and it’s why they try taking away our joy and light. Depressed people are pretty predictable. We just sit their like zombies letting others make choices and decisions for us.

      My ex would try undermining my points, too, before I was able to finish my thoughts. They’re very disrespectful and piggish. Gross and like nothing any of us should ever wish to emulate.

      Keep rising!! ❤

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  10. The entire time I was married, I had to listen to my Ex tell me it was my fault that he:

    -Suffered from anxiety attacks
    -Was having trouble swallowing food (and continued to have this prloblem even after we divorced)
    -am the reason he was not successful
    -that my unhappy childhood rife with neglect is the reason I am so “F*cked up”.
    -that I am fat (event though I was a size 8)
    -would never be seen with me at the beach because I was fat.

    and the list goes on.

    Based on what you wrote in this post, are you telling me that everything my Ex was accusing me of is projection?

    I get it, but how is calling me “fat” projection when he wasn’t fat. Or was that because he knew my weight/looks is my Achilles heel?

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    • Exactly, Susan. It’s a way to chip away at your self-confidence, because he can’t control you if you have confidence. Remember, these fools lack confidence. They want to strip yours in any way possible to render you defenseless and weak. He probably also has a fear of being viewed as fat or out of shape. What others think of then is their ultimate Achilles heel. 🙂

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    • He has always been into his looks and working out — always.

      Here what I don’t understand. The woman he is with, is chunky. So what gives? I wasn’t even fat and he harped on my weight and now the woman he is with is chunky? It doesn’t add up.

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    • It doesn’t add up because you are trying to add up the wrong pieces. The only criteria a victim/supply must have is a value that serves. It could be money, power or prestige. Ideally, it’s all three but these fools aren’t that choosy because they know its easy to have a piece of hot tail on the side if necessary. The biggest asset a wife can have, however, is money potential. You were a jackpot to him. This new wife is at least the pot.

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    • OMG is she ever! I suspect she looks reeeeeeeeeeeeeal good on paper.

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  11. Wow! If u have any thing u or someone u know has published an article on how to not get in a romantic relationship with one esp how to pick up on signs quicker to not get involved with them-please, please send me the links to my email
    Thank u so much

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    • I will. In the meantime, our best defense is to set proper boundaries and have a deep sense of self-love and self-respect. I thought I had those things in spades before the sociopath. I was tested and nearly failed. Now I recognize the behavior and manipulations faster and am less prone to trusting people, intimately or otherwise, too hastily. 🙂

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  12. Fantastic read! I was given a book after leaving my narcissistic sociopath. Seeing the facts of the personality disorder like this helped me so much. Thank you

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  13. Thank you, this was a great read.

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  14. Love it, when you see facts so well written down in one place, its very reflective, on ones past! It will be a long sad day for me. 😕! I appreciate it, though I needed it.

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  15. Absolutely awesome first sentence- says it all!

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