bullSociopaths aren’t really living; they’re merely existing.

A sociopath believes he is superior and evolved, and we almost believed that he was superior and evolved. After all, the Sociopath demonstrated what seemed to be a unique ability to “live in the moment” effortlessly and with little to no stress.

The sociopath often encouraged us to also live without worry and embrace “living in the moment” with him.

It seemed like a good idea. It even seemed fun and adventurous at first. Unfortunately, we always failed to master this philosophy. We couldn’t seem to let go of our worry and our fears as we navigated our lives with the Sociopath and others.

Why did we keep failing in this?

For starters, we have a conscience.

And for another thing, what the Sociopath was preaching to us wasn’t even close to living. The Sociopath’s self-analysis was actually VERY delusional, because the sociopath failed to see the difference between LIVING in the moment and EXISTING in the moment:

1. Living in the moment requires full awareness of ourselves and absolute respect for others. We’re careful not to cause harm to ourselves or others. We think about how others may or may not be affected. We act on empathy and what is in the best interests of everyone “that moment” touches.

2. Existing in the moment is analogous to a bull in a china shop. That bull is certainly in the moment…a moment of destruction, chaos and utter dysfunction. The bull is not considering anyone but himself and will harm anyone and everything that gets in his way.

The sociopath is the bull. You are the china.

Don’t settle on merely existing like the Sociopath. Don’t be fooled by the fool’s philosophy.

Aspire to live in the moment, reflecting on yourself and the choices you make and the people you affect and touch.

Honest and true joy come from living. Existing leaves behind a wake of destruction filled with lies and excuses.

~ Paula

© Paula Carrasquillo and Paula’s Pontifications, 2012 – 2013.

(image source:http://www.pinterest.com/pin/234679830552331951/)

abuse, Cluster B disorders, domestic violence, Emotional Abuse, Family, Forgiveness, Friends, Health, Lessons, Love, Mental Health, mindfulness, Narcissist, Narcissistic Sociopath, NPD, Peace, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychopaths, PTSD, Recovery, Relationships, Self Improvement, Sociopaths, Spirituality
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Join the conversation! 11 Comments

  1. Brilliant insight here, and I love the minotaur image too – fantastic.
    When I was first trying to disentangle myself from the sociopath in my life, I went to see this psychic I’ve seen many times over the years – she is exceptional and I trust her.
    She said the man I was seeing was turned AWAY from life, not really engaging with life and other people, just relating to them as audience, and was like a 3-year-old in a big bubble of smoke and mirrors.


  2. The children WERE discarded. Their sociopath-Daddy, enraged that he had been “outted”, set them and their mother adrift, robbed them of their extended family, took away their housing, vehicle and all financial subsistence in one sweeping motion. I sometimes wonder that these three females survived at all.
    I did not remember these events until I was 39 years old, when I unearthed a childhood teddy bear…


  3. Paula this is the most insightful comment. You are amazing to be able to step back and identify this. Sad, I still love him. He’s a mean man.


  4. Paula, I don’t have many aha moments any more with regards to psychopaths/sociopaths but I just had one now.
    When JC and I were together he was always saying I wasn’t flexible enough and his favorite line was, “you can’t be disappointed if you don’t have any expectations”. And that is the way life was; I trained myself to go through life with no expectations; none. Right down to if he would come home that night, would I have food to eat or a roof over my head


    • Oops. Because he lived in the moment he adapted to living conditions that all but killed me. To have no expectations is to have no plans for the future. It is a terrifying way to live. For some reason I hadn’t connected it to him being a psychopath, it was definitely a trait of his and he felt superior because he was so resilient. His mother used to say how special he was because set backs never kept him down; he would just bounce back. Yeah because his whole life was a joke and he made it up as he went along. If he didn’t like the way his life was he just told lies about it. The truth meant nothing and image meant everything.
      I think that was the hardest part, no expectations. Good post


    • Yeah! It’s disgusting and not a way the rest of us can or should be forced to live. It’s why it’s so easy for them to see as only means to an end. If we can’t get them to point B, they’ll find someone else or something else that gets them there. It’s an ugly existence. Damn. It’s why I hated reading The Stranger. There’s simply no humanity in JUST existing.


  5. They are also dogs in the manger. (Aesops fable.) Even if it benefits them to not have it / want it, they will slash and burn so that even their children can’t have what they’ve already thrown away.


  6. Great differentiation between living in the moment and existing in the moment. Had never thought of that, but it is so very true!


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