Entitlement is when a person believes he has the right to own or possess any “thing” or any “person” he desires. An entitled person believes his mere existence qualifies him as unique, special and somehow more deserving than others and above all laws and moral codes.
Sociopaths believe they are entitled.
Entitled sociopaths do not work or strive for what they have. They simply take it.
But the sociopath will argue that he does deserve what he has and what he takes. The sociopath will argue that he earned everything. He will argue that he worked long and hard to get what he has.
And the entitled sociopath is often very convincing in his arguments. Entitled sociopaths are good at justifying their con games. Entitled sociopaths believe that the art of arguing and conning people is synonymous with working hard.
How wrong could they be!?!?
Sociopaths are preposterous and delusional to believe they are somehow entitled to take everything they covet and desire. This kind of entitled thinking begets greater and greater delusions and results in the sociopath exerting greater and greater control over others in hopes of convincing others of the sociopath’s delusions.
The sociopath’s ultimate goal is to make you as delusional as he is. You must think as he thinks.
Well, for starters the sociopath can’t stand being surrounded by people who have independent thoughts. The sociopath is threatened by the creativity and ingenuity of others. If it doesn’t serve to propel the sociopath in status or reverence, the creativity and ingenuity of others is without purpose to the sociopath. He must be surrounded by people who think just as he thinks to feel complete and whole and powerful.
Once you become zombie-like and convinced of the sociopath’s delusions, the sociopath becomes that by which you measure all others. And once you start measuring all others against the sociopath’s delusions, a funny and ironic thing happens to your brain:
You become rewired to think that non-delusional people, people you once admired and respected, are the delusional ones and that the sociopath is completely sane and reasonable. You become convinced that the sociopath’s entitlement is justified and all others are simply too jealous or too stupid to understand.
“No wonder those people don’t like the sociopath! They’re just super jealous of the sociopath! Makes total sense now!”
Sociopaths are often successful in exerting their will onto us and making us zombie-like through influence and control. The greatest tool the sociopath has in his bag of tricks is his ability to invalidate us. The sociopath invalidates us with subtle language, suggestions and passive-aggressive behaviors:
- You’re just not thinking clearly right now. Soon you will see things the way I see things.
- Have you given enough thought to that idea you have? It seems you haven’t thought this through.
- You’ve clearly been damaged by someone in the past. No wonder you don’t trust me. No wonder you lash out at me.
- How could you be doing this again? Don’t you ever learn?
As soon as someone, anyone, begins using this type of language with you, be cautious about continuing the relationship. Better yet, don’t respond and stop engaging.
Unfortunately, it’s never that simple, is it? Our stubborn default is to become defensive. When confronted with a sociopath’s attempts to invalidate us, we seek answers and ask questions like:
- Why would you say such a thing?
- How could you think such things of me?
- I thought you cared about me. I thought you thought I was smart.
These questions simply validate the sociopath’s invalidation of you, because if you have to question the question, you must be confused by what you believe to be real. And that’s exactly what the sociopath will keep asking you, too:
If you have to ask me, you must not understand what I’m saying. Let me explain it again.
(Oh, and he’s so sweet about it too, isn’t he? So helpful and open, huh? Pfft!)
And each time the sociopath re-words the same points, you continue to have the same questions. Why? Because it doesn’t make sense to your logical and free-thinking mind. Forcing someone to think just like you has never been a goal. So being confronted by a person who needs you to think just like him makes no sense. It goes against who you are and your understanding of the world. It causes confusion and even makes you question yourself. And once you start questioning your beliefs and measuring them against the sociopath’s beliefs, you’ve been caught in the web.
- Am I confident in my abilities?
- Do I really believe I am worthy of feeling the way I feel about life?
- Am I convinced that I am just as important as the next person?
(The answer to these questions must be “yes.” If not, you have some work to do.)
If confronted by a sociopath, you must believe in yourself and your ability to be you. Otherwise, you’ll end up getting intoxicated by the confusion the sociopath spins, and your life and what you once knew of yourself and how you once thought about the world will spiral out of control. You will lose yourself to the control of the sociopath, giving him total and complete access and control over your life, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Learn to love yourself completely and learn to spot and recognize language that invalidates so you know not to react or respond to it. By not reacting or responding, you disarm the sociopath and force the sociopath to go in search of someone willing to take the bait.
The more people willing to take the bait, the stronger the sociopath’s entitlement and delusions become.
We can’t really blame the sociopath for being so delusional and feeling so entitled, can we? Wouldn’t you feel powerful too if people changed their entire perception of the world just because you told them to change it?
© Paula Carrasquillo and Paula’s Pontifications, 2012 – 2013.