diamonds under a dark mask

diamonds under a dark maskUnlike sociopaths, we non-sociopaths are complete.

We have a light and a dark side. Sociopaths are just dark; they can’t absorb the light.

When I was in the relationship with the sociopath, I started watching the HBO series True Blood. Soon after starting, I stopped. (Or maybe the sociopath made me stop. I can’t remember to be honest.)

Recently, I started watching it again, beginning with episodes from where I left off.

As I watched episode after episode, I kept thinking, “The writers MUST know about sociopaths and psychopaths. Surely, this is a metaphor for what they believe is the truth of this world.”

If you aren’t aware of the show’s premise, here it is in a nutshell:

The world of humans learns that vampires, those blood-sucking beasts of legend and myth who don’t eat food but only human blood for survival, REALLY do exist.

In order for humans and vampires to co-exist, the vampires have the humans convinced that the vampires are not interested in feeding on human blood but can survive, and are happy surviving, on synthetic blood called Tru Blood, manufactured and bottled JUST for vampire consumption.

Tru Blood is the biggest LIE the vampires tell in order to keep humans ignorant and delusional about the truth. The truth is that vampires hate Tru Blood and continue feeding off of the blood of humans secretly and with great success.

Sound familiar?

Sociopaths/psychopaths/narcissists…whatever you want to call them…are soul suckers who lie with impunity and try convincing the humans in this world that they are just like us and deserve respect just like us. We should pity them and feel sorry for their lot in life.

And we buy the lies!

We let our guards down and seek to nurture and protect them and save them from themselves, we become their willing victims.

Willing you ask? Yes, willing.

We see them for what they are, maybe not immediately, but pretty soon we begin to see the cracks in their masks, and we STILL willingly live side-by-side with them giving them the benefit of the doubt. We assume they have a conscience, and we project our ability to empathize onto them, not realizing we are creating a deeper and darker pit for ourselves to one day crawl out of.

Why do we do this for so long?

Part of the problem is that sociopaths project their ugliness back at us at the same time we project our light onto them. We absorb the darkness; they reflect the light. Meaning, the darkness becomes a part of us that we try to understand; they never absorb the light. It blinds them just like the sun blinds and burns and ultimately destroys vampires of myth and legend.

We can live in the dark; they can not live in the light. They can turn us into them; we can’t turn them into us.

I realize this may sound hokey, but it’s the best metaphor for what actually happens when we become the willing victims of the vampiric sociopaths in our midst. (And whoever created the original metaphor, must have lived it, don’t you think? After all, we write and create what we know. Stuff doesn’t get created from thin air.)

Because we have both light and dark inside of us and understand the power of both, we can battle to rid ourselves of the darkness sociopaths impose on us just by capturing and embracing our light. Our light can overpower their darkness and help us uncover our own darkness. That’s what makes us so much more powerful than any sociopath/vampire. Simply by un-inviting them out of our lives, we begin to free ourselves of that darkness.

The rest is completely up to us.

So step away from these dark souls, as far away as possible, and start purging your soul and spirit of the darkness that is keeping you from living to your full potential.

Don’t be afraid of your darkness; there are diamonds under there.


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abuse, Addiction, Cluster B disorders, domestic violence, Emotional Abuse, Lessons, Love, Mental Health, mindfulness, Movies, Narcissist, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, NPD, Peace, Psychopaths, PTSD, Relationships, Self Improvement, Writing
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Join the conversation! 7 Comments

  1. for me I have looked back at happy times and reinforced those memories by writing about them – I have looked back to other things I did that I enjoyed and started to do them again – met nice warm happy people – I am reconnecting with the group that the narcissist abuser took away from me but that will take more time – I take care of me and am losing weight and getting fitter – feeling old strengths re-emerge – its hard to reflect that so that someone who was never a friend – only another of a group could have ever done all these things – could do that and look outwardly like they are happy and energised – yet I know now they are not – can see in them the convolutions – take some peace knowing that is not me – and find it easier to remain untouched but the blackness his presence brings even to a beautiful sunny day… patience is the key to this…


  2. I love this post Paula, especially the connection to the vampire, which historically also have an undertone of sexuality and seduction to them. The really funny thing is that the ex-narc has a a couple of costumes he performes in, in which he looks like a vampire. I like vampires as a mythology but not the sociopathic kind. Your article does touch on many levels–great food for thought.



  3. Interesting post, which made me think a lot actually…I was looking forward to hear from somebody saying that there is light and darkness in everyone of us… I was worried about this because I write short stories that may involve sometimes sociopaths and in order to write about the character you have to understand the character…and sometimes when you delve too much into it you begin to worry that you may going too much into the darkness… since of course I choose to live in the light , it´s good to know that there could also exist darkness living with it… Great post!


    • I think there is darkness in all of us. It’s the light that’s missing from some of us. I had a conversation with a friend over the weekend about how yoga has helped me tap into my dark side. I see something I dislike about myself, and I want to change it. It keeps me going back to the mat, so to say. My friend, on the other hand, mentioned that once she feels her dark side creeping up, that’s when she takes a break from yoga. It’s about accepting our darkness and not fearing that it will over power our light. It’s scary for many. 🙂


  4. I really like your comment that they project their ugliness back at us. Very true. Also, great metaphor with the light/dark.


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