Eight months after I left the sociopath (a.k.a. the boy in my story), he called me at 10:00 p.m. on September 6, 2011, his birthday. I didn’t answer. I texted him instead saying, “I know why you called. Happy birthday. Hope it was a good one.”
Well, you would have thought I told him to go to hell or something, because the stream of texts I got in return spoke to his need for control.
His texts were down-right cruel and despicable.
He wrote how I was a heartless and mean-spirited whore (all things he had told me while in the relationship) and that I never loved him, and if I had ever loved him, I would have picked up the phone. By not picking up the phone it was proof to him that I was a bad person. (See how fucked up and self-centered their logic is? I didn’t pick up the phone because I was setting boundaries, asshole!)
A week later, I called him. (I still didn’t realize what he was at that point. That came later.) I was concerned about his stability after those emotionally charged text messages. He picked up. I asked him if he was okay, and he actually apologized and said he wanted to be friends.
I hung up the phone feeling extremely relieved! I was thinking that all of my recent suspicions of him being a narcissist were completely off. Finally, I felt good about the end of it all and hoped he would find happiness with someone one day and maybe even have a child of his own to care for and love.
Fast forward one month. I became enemy #1 again because of a website and URL I owned that he wanted me to hand over to him. The site and domain name just so happened to be for his business. I had agreed to create a site for him while still in the relationship and had done all of the leg work and even created a landing page as a place holder instead of using the default page provided by the internet host provider.
He basically demanded that I hand over a site and domain name that I paid for with my money using my name during registration.
Hmmm? I said no. I said he could pay for the domain name and the site like everybody else. I’d be glad to put it up for auction for him.
Why did I say no? Well, just a few weeks before he had asked to be friends, remember? I remembered. So, as a friend, I thought he should have asked for the site and domain name in a nicer way, in a way that’s indicative of a friendship rather than a business transaction.
But asking to be treated like that was unacceptable. According to his sick mind, asking to be treated like that meant I was still interested in him and wanted to be with him. He just wanted the site and domain name and I wanted him. (Gag!)
Stubborn me, I refused to just hand it over to him until he asked nicer and with more respect. (Do you see how I was still trying to teach him how to treat people even outside the relationship? I was banging my head on the proverbial wall and didn’t realize it!)
And it continued. E-mail exchange after e-mail exchange, he could not understand why I expected him to treat me like a friend. He thought I wanted to hold on to the site and URL because I wanted a piece of him. He couldn’t see that I just wanted to be treated like I wasn’t some stranger to him.
Little did I realize that I was and had always been a strange stranger to him. But being the stubborn person I am, I fought to be treated differently.
I said to myself, “I am a human being, God dammit, and will be treated with respect! That prick needs to open his eyes. If he wants the domain name, he’s going to either ask nicer or he can pay for it!”
He never asked nicer. (Surprise! Surprise!) So, I threw it on GoDaddy auction with a starting bid of $250. (The minimum bid is $10, but I can be an asshole like the best of them when provoked.)
And that’s when World War III began and led me down a path of realization and acceptance. In a few short months, I eventually realized that the man I once knew was a boy and a complete sociopath. My suspicions were correct from the beginning.
Remember that these fools test our empathy without us realizing it. We react to them like healthy humans do when we happen upon wounded and pathetic creatures. Our healthy and caring reactions are met with disdain and hatred, and we just get screwed repeatedly for showing an ounce of concern for them. We finally react with equal amounts of hatred and disdain.
In hindsight, I see that I shouldn’t have battled this boy for as long as i did. He has no empathy or conscience and is not capable of understanding. Not capable!
I finally relinquished the site and domain name in late September 2012. It was becoming a black cloud over an otherwise bright and shining existence. Do you have any idea how good it felt to simply hit the “delete” button?
And to think at one time I wished him the best in life.