My latest for Elephant Journal:

The Bomb in Boston Wasn’t the Only Bomb that went off in America on Monday. ~ Paula Carrasquillo

Boy-shouting-in-fear-MG-3614

Category:
abuse, domestic violence, Emotional Abuse, mindfulness, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, Rape, Recovery, Relationships, Spirituality
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Join the conversation! 12 Comments

  1. Awesome article, as always. You express my feelings in ways I never could.

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  2. It’s right to call domestic violence “terrorism”. Pick your dictionary, but the general consensus defines terrorism as the systematic use of extreme fear, especially as a means of intimidation and coercion. There are no cultural, political, religious, or social restrictions placed on the word. It isn’t limited to acts en masse that make it into the news. It is what it is – Domination by Fear.

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    • People live in bubbles and more people enjoy those ignorant bubbles to reality. When we provide the reality, they refuse to believe it or they use the good old stand by, “I’ll pray for you.” Like another survivor of abuse has repeated, prayer doesn’t protect anyone and prayer doesn’t solve problems. Prayer is nice, but real action must be taken. 🙂

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    • Only action will bring the giant down.

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  3. Oh my God, Paula, this is what I want most of all – for people to believe me. There are never any witnesses in a sociopathic world of isolation. It’s almost unbelievable that something like what happened in Boston actually did!, and hundreds of people saw it. The mind just can’t wrap itself around something like this easily, and I think that’s why people go back to business as usual so quickly, seemingly forgetting what just happened. Too painful, too gross, too unreal. And that’s how it is everyday living with abuse. Who would believe in a million years that because I smiled wrong that I would be so horribly emotionally mutilated! And of course there’s no witness, because the abuser makes sure that there are no friends, no family, no other’s around, EVER. That’s why I’m so appreciative of you, because you know, you believe me. It makes all the difference. The situation will never go back to normal, damage has been done. I’m so thankful that you and those that read what you write have some deeper knowledge and compassion for this.

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  4. Well said, Paula!

    his afternoon, on my way to grab some Starbucks, I was half way across the street when the light turned green. This guy in a car started glaring his horn at me. I yelled at him and said, “Oh, I guess you’ve already forgotten about the bombing on Monday (NOTE: I work in Boston). He just glared at me. So I said, “Yah that’s right A-hole peopled effing DIED and hundreds lost limbs and your’e glaring a horn at me because the light changed before I could all the way across!?!? WTF????”

    It doesn’t take long for people to fall right back into their selfish habits, does it?

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    • It certainly doesn’t! That’s part of the tragedy of these types of tragedies that bother me the most–the fleeting interest and care of most. Do you REALLY care about your fellow man or do you care just becuase it seems like it’s the right thing to do at the time? Momentary care. Momentary sympathy. And then go back to being selfish in a couple of days, like they did their good deed until the next tragedy strikes.

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    • I couldn’t have said it better.

      It also felt like some people (in my office) were thriving on the tragedy — I swear it. You know, like it gave them some kind of thrill that this happened.

      One woman in my office is obsessed with the entire story blurting out updates whereas I am just trying to focus on the fact that yeah it sucks but everyday people die from tragedies worse than this. Not to take away from those who were killed and injured but where is the outrage for all of humanity? I didn’t see this woman in my office get all upset when those innocent people were shot in CO movie theater!!!! Where was her outrage then? Ugh. I could go on but you get my point.

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    • Exactly! It’s like they’re discussing a cool movie or baseball stats. It means absolutely nothing to their hearts.

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