My pro-choice soapbox

Trigger warning: For those who are not pro-choice, please choose NOT to read any further. You have that freedom, you know, and I did warn you. 🙂

My pro-choice soapbox

Teenagers, college students, CEOs, doctors, nurses, lawyers, teachers, professionals in every sector.

Who are these people? The “other” face of abortion.

Women who CHOOSE abortions aren’t just the young or uneducated or unemployed. They’re not whores, sluts or prostitutes.

Most are law-abiding tax payers. They make a choice to have or not have children for many, many personal reasons. PRIVATE personal reasons often related to their financial situation, spiritual health, mental health, physical health and over-all will as a human being.

Who is the United States government to take away that choice and free will?

And don’t preach to me about what abortion means in the eyes of God.

I think many women would tell you they have more faith in how they will handle their choice than in a governmental body or church that chooses to take away that choice.

Do you respect people who control you and take away your right to choose anything in life? Of course not.

No amount of preaching and guilting women is going to convince any of us it’s okay to take away our choice. We will disrespect you with zero guilt above any good you think you have accomplished.

We can not and will not be conned and manipulated into submission. And when you try, expect a battle.


Image credit: Legal Watercooler Blog

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Join the conversation! 18 Comments

  1. Having been there I don’t think that peopel realize that when a woman choses abortion it is not usually a decision that was light heartedly made. It is usually frought with much agonizing. What we need to do as a society is to foster an enviroment and a political and health system in which a woman would feel like chosing to have a child is a viable option. I was not in a plase to have a child without detriment to myself or the child–I had no options.


    • And your choice is none of anyone’s business. I agree. If society could guarantee that all unborn children would be provided health, wealth and equal opportunities regardless, I think the decision to have a child would be an easier one for many women to choose. But society leaves many with nothing but fears and unknowns. Thank you, Ivonne. 🙂


  2. When I was 16 and pregnant I refused to have an abortion but was forced to give the baby up for adoption. For years I battled depression that was almost incapacitating every year around his birthday. He would be 37 now and although I still wonder about him and pray he has a good life, it doesn’t hurt any more. The guilt etc I suffered all those years because of the judgements of “holier-than-though” do gooders affected decisiions I made the rest of my life. I don’t know that having an abortion would have been any easier. I had g/f’s that suffered huge guilt and remorse after having abortions. My son got a girl pregnant after a particularly good dinner out. They barely knew each other and now are raising a child
    together and I have a beautiful grand

    For me I would never presume to tell a woman she couldn’t have an abortion


    • Sorry, hit post before I was finished. I would never tell Any woman what she should do but I do believe that there should be more education, and nonjudgemental support for women faced with an unwanted pregnancy. I also feel the men should be considered in the decision. My son loves his daughter very much as I love my grand baby. I don’t feel I would have a right to stop the girl from having an abortion if that is what she would have wanted but I thank God she didn’t!!

      Very touchy topic that has so many variables, ultimately the woman carrying the child gets the final decision. Like I said to my son at the time he told me I was going to be a grandma. “how long ago did I buy you your first condoms??”


    • Definitely more education and real non-judgmental support is needed. I think part of the guilt many feel is a result of the pro-lifers’ judgment we see splashed all over the place and in the faces of women as they walk into clinics across the country.

      My fear is that if the father or the man who thinks he’s the father had a place in the decision, it would cause another dimension of guilt and feeling controlled. I firmly believe it can only be the choice of the mother.

      My ex threatened to take my unborn child from me. He told me he would convince a judge that I was an unfit, depressed alcoholic. Hmmm? The only problem with his plan is that if I hadn’t miscarried, I would have probably aborted the pregnancy. Why bring a child into such an ugly life? Also, my ex didn’t realize that because I was still married to my husband, my sociopathic ex had zero rights over me or any child I birthed even if we were intimate. My husband did.

      I am happy for you as a grandmother!! My son is only 7, but I often find myself wondering about being a grandmother one day. It could happen sooner than I think, huh? 🙂


  3. Life doesn’t begin at conception…it continues. Both egg and sperm are alive. They come from living beings. We seem to care little for either until they combine to create the potential for something new. Is the potential being more important than the existing? Are any of us more important than the others? I say no.

    So now to the crux of the issue, at what point does the potential become actual independent life. I don’t know. Nobody knows. I do know this, my wife had two miscarriages and it broke our hearts both times. Maybe its our emotions that make the decision for us and not our intellect.

    Maybe all of those abortion clinic protesters actually feel love for the unborn and are willing to sacrifice their own lives to save them. Who can argue with such a noble cause? The reality is that once the babies are born, where are these good people? Nearly one in six children live in poverty in the United States. I shudder to think what the rates are in other countries. Yet these same people will vote for politicians who implement policies that will keep those one in six children starving. I do not believe it is love for the unborn that motivates these people. Loving people do not make death threats, stalk nurses, force women to endure vaginal probes, or shame women.

    It is much more sinister than that.


    • I agree 100% with everything you have added, Henley. Just to add a little more regarding the empathy for the child stance: the majority of women who choose to abort their pregnancies ARE thinking empathetically about the child. Women in abusive relationships or who are married to abusers shouldn’t be forced to bring children into such an ugly existence. Unfortunately, many are born disadvantaged due to the disadvantages of their parents. Ideally, we could all take care of ourselves and our children equally and with equal love and devotion. Another reality is that not all women want to be mothers. And they shouldn’t be forced to be. 🙂


    • We are in complete agreement.


  4. your welcome Paula,
    having been raised in a guilt/shame religious tradition and having been so sinful has to become pregnant with one not of my religious belief before marriage I was subjected to NOT being able to marry in the ‘holy’ part of the ‘church’, it was in the priest’s office with only immediate family members allowed and up to the last minute before the ceremony I was pressured into giving up the child into adoption! I had 2 children within 20 months, a lousy husband, no income, local priest said he could not condon birth control, I said/believed that if the people of the church were not going to pay for the raising of my children there would be no more, that decision brought be OUT of the church, but what really made me LEAVE the church was when my children were early teens and wanting them to have that ‘religious’ upbringing, I was told that because I was divorced my children were not ‘welcomed’ unless I paid a big $$ fee! I told him to shove it and walked, never looked back.

    no person, group, government has the right to use fear/terror to control anyone and I personally find it disgusting that in the name of religions people will do anything to anyone and feel so self-righteous about doing it…

    keep speaking


    • The bulk of anti-choice (a.k.a. pro-life advocates) aren’t vegetarians or vegans from my experience. They preach a pro-life stance and then go eat hamburgers. That’s why I see these arguments against abortion as nothing more than people trying to impose and shame their so-called beliefs onto others. We can’t seem to respect the living and breathing humans and animals that walk among us. Why do people then take on a righteous view on the issue of abortion? It’s so hypocritical and does more harm than good in the end. 🙂


  5. right on, Paula…
    most people forget about the ‘human condition’ which is…frankly speaking… a human is only interested in seeing these basics satisfied FIRST, eating, defecating, sleeping and sexual activity! If a human is not or is incapable of being ‘socialized/civilized’ for any number of real reasons, that human could give a rat’s ass about the consequence of their actions. The real purpose of any community is to set ‘acceptable’ behavior rule, without any everything would be left to anarchy. The real purpose of any government, built on our system of personal freedoms, is to make sure that there are no scrapgoats just because some citizens have a ‘moral outrage’ over another’s actions or that a citizen can control themselves etc. It is a double-edge sword of government for sure, and one that needs close attention by reasonable citizens and those citizens must also remember that they are NOT every human’s judge or jury. Personal freedoms will never be fully controlled by civil or religious organizations and as long as humans exist we will have these and many other ‘social’ issues to contend with.


    • Thank you, Gert! You always add so much to the conversation. Women are shamed for not having babies and shamed for having too many. My decision to be pregnant or not to be pregnant is not the business of my government or my neighbors.

      Shit, I was on birth control when I found out I was pregnant with my son. If I hadn’t been married, I don’t know what my decision would have been to remain pregnant. But because I had the support I needed to get me through the pregnancy, I gave birth to my son who is a true blessing in my life.

      I don’t expect everyone to agree on the moral base of choosing to have an abortion or not. Those discussions should be between an individual and their God. Not an individual and a government and a bunch of people standing around pointing shameful fingers accomplishing nothing but more confusion.


  6. While ones personal choice is their own. I agree someone should not be able to take the choice from them. I thought that is what this whole country was built on. Freedom and choice? I get so confused sometimes by the politics, I forget the simpleness of it all. Sorry.


  7. Paula, I highly value your helpful comments of Narcissism awareness and healing have been so appreciated…more than you know! Please do favor those posts as often as you can. This post, with its disclaimer, understandably comes from your place of freedom to speak your mind. One could say, Yes, I get it (your soapbox speech): wealthy and poor should all be able to “choose” Death for the fetus = a human life. However morbid as that is and however the “surgery” occurs, women & men can choose to kill a baby of any weeks of age because the choice is theirs. Hmmmm how about we agree that being sexual has its consequences (fertilized egg) and that is where the problem really lies… with responsibility. Can us citizens focus more about making responsible choices versus IRresponsible choices? and then the government shouldn’t have to rule this for us. On the other hand, our Government, God bless them, believes its only sole purpose is to keep making laws and rules to sustain its mammoth interest in governing the U.S population. Again, Thanks so much, for offering your frank comments related to survivors of psychopathic destruction in your daily postings.


    • Guilting people into making them believe they’re committing murder doesn’t work, either. My point is that the government has no business taking away a woman’s choice. Abortion is a personal choice based on personal morals, personal beliefs and other personal understandings of faith and life. I do not share your personal beliefs on the issue. An issue that has no business being discussed by a government built on freedom and choice.

      As far as psychopaths are concerned when it comes to the issue, they generally don’t have a solid opinion one way or the other. A psychopath will have no qualms telling you you’re a murderer if you choose to abort and a lousy, stinking mother if you choose to have the child. With a sociopath, you’re shamed and guilted regardless of your choice.


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