How often do you or did you find yourself discussing other people while in your toxic relationship with the sociopath?

Talking about the faults of others is never-ending and always the highlight of the Sociopath’s existence.

The ultimate in confusion is when the sociopath begins talking negatively about people you thought he admired. One day he’s best friends with someone; the next day that best friend is his mortal enemy.

And if you even consider questioning or countering the sociopath’s opinion of someone, you become their enemy also.

The sociopath leaves you little choice but to endure his hate-filled tirades about others. Otherwise, you become the subject of the sociopath’s hate-filled tirades, and who wants to be that? The sociopath is so vile in his description of people he dislikes. So vile.

People with healthy minds and outlooks on life don’t spend countless hours and conversations trying to convince the rest of us that someone deserves our disdain.

Healthy people ask each other why they might feel dislike for someone, because healthy people don’t want to hold on to the hate. Healthy people want to turn our hate into understanding, even if a person has behaved badly. (That’s why we give the sociopathic fools chance after chance.)

But the sociopath enjoys hating and enjoys it even more when he convinces or thinks he’s convinced others to hate, too.

When we agree or pretend to agree with the sociopath’s hate, we’re providing supply which energizes the sociopath to keep doing what he’s always done: hate and hurt.

I choose not to participate in this hate game. It simply takes us further and further away from peace.

Good morning! ~Paula

abuse, Cluster B disorders, Emotional Abuse, Family, Forgiveness, Friends, Health, Lessons, Love, Mental Health, mindfulness, Narcissist, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, NPD, Peace, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychopaths, PTSD, Recovery, Relationships, Self Improvement, Sociopaths, Spirituality
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Join the conversation! 12 Comments

  1. Interesting how many people don’t “question” the sociopaths jealousy towards others. Its almost like they want to please and nurture the idiot by being an idiot themselves.

    A lot of the time a sociopath will absolutely hate someone from something irrational like their hairstyle or their appearance. Nothing that has to do with them. And boy can they use double standards!

    I pity socios for one reason, they fail to realize how much HATE they have for themselves, instead they dump all their gook on others. The way people treat you is a direct reflection of their own consciousness. If a person dislikes themselves deep down they will not hesitate to disrespect or harm another human being, with little or no provoking. They just do it just because….and you better believe they enjoy every second of it.


  2. Hi, Paula,

    I saw this so vividly just yesterday. He came home from an event he had been at with friends and he was being so vicious to 2 of the people who were in that group. And then he wanted to show me a picture of another group of people that we know and he had biting things to say about people in that group. I couldn’t believe how mean he was being! I should know by now that he does this, but for some reason, it still shocks me when it happens. Thank you for your post.


    • It’s easy to lose sight when it’s not always shared so blatantly and frequently. That’s the art of the passive part of his nature. 🙂


    • I’m impressed by this article because it speaks so many levels of truth. Sociopaths “choose” people to drag in their deceptive hater games. If you refuse to play along with the big baby(s) then be prepared to be framed “lame”
      They want us to entertain them, the way a master entertains its bored dog. They want us to play along, and hopefully join their team of haters. They want to challenge our goodness and see how much evil they can cause. They want control over us. They need control over us. They suck.


  3. Have you ever met someone who is a friend of your sociopath for the first time. Have you seen the judging eyes? The loathing? The unexplained disapproving attitude? This person has been recruited by the method you mention. Constantly attacking while you are not actually there. I had the experience where my sociopath was engaged in this type of behavior years before I even knew about it. By then, the damage was done. My reputation with the “minions” was trash. I had to write them all off and move on. Recruiting minions is the sociopaths most viscous weapon.


  4. what they think of other people is really a reflection of how they feel about themselves.


  5. My entire ex-husband and his family did this. For one example, whenever there was a family event, they would “quarterback” i.e. call each other and critique everyone that was there, and especially certain people that they disliked or who ever they were on the “outs” with. What was wrong with what the person wore, what they said or didn’t say. It when on and on. For days, on the phone discussing, judging and finding fault. I have to admit, sometimes I fell into it, to make them happy. I felt bad sometimes, It seemed so stupid to me, but it made them feel better, so I figured it was harmless until when one of my sister in laws was sick with cancer, I recognized how sick it was. I stood of up to them and told them it was wrong. I also realized I’d be the next person since I knew I wanted a divorce from my husband. Little did I know they already knew, and they had already started making me the enemy. I never experienced such behavior. I thought my ex was controlling, but they all were. It was a way of life for them. They showed up in court and lied and said I was the abusive one, not him. No one understands this unless you have lived with it.


  6. Boy, did I get the discard real fast when I questioned his actions against a supposed enemy.


    • They’re cowards! They have no defense for their hate and refuse to admit to their childish behavior. After all, they are so mature and evolved in their delusional minds. Hehe!


  7. I have so lived this with my stepkids bio Mom. She sits with her children and speaks negatively about everyone. Of course, being a narcissist, she is the first to run screaming if she ever hears of the slightest disparaging comment about her. I could care less about her. Instead I focus on my stepkids, trying to show them that talking about people in this way is not “normal”. They really have picked up her habit.


    • It’s not acceptable behavior for grown adults. It’s teenage behavior. The boy in my story would talk negatively about my son’s father. He had never even met my son’s father! I initially thought it was just normal jealousy. But when it never ended and the boy seemed to get more intense with his vitriol, I realized it was very unhealthy but didn’t understand why it was happening. All I knew for certain is that I did not want my son to EVER hear someone speak badly of his daddy.


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