You’re probably asking yourself, “Really, Paula?!?! What the F&%* has gotten into you? Have you gone nuts on us?”
No. Not exactly. However, I have gone nuts listening to the same justifications over and over again from victims as to why they won’t leave or think they can “fix” their abuser.
Once and for all, “YOU CAN’T FIX A PERSON WHO DOESN’T WANT TO BE FIXED!”
I realize it’s not a simple thing to escape or leave your partner. I understand. But I also understand that if we don’t start changing our way of thinking while we’re in the hell that the narcissistic sociopath has created, we will never get out of it. We will just fester, lose ourselves, and eventually die with lots of regrets.
This post is for all of the men and women who think it’s more compassionate and human to stay with their abuser. Who hold out hope for a better future, because they don’t want to give up on someone. Who need to take a good hard look at where they are and what they have or will become.
The Top 5 Reasons to Date a Sociopath
1. You never have to speak.
We all have trouble expressing ourselves and sometimes we just wish we didn’t have to make a case for why we think the way we think. It’s grueling on our brains and can cause headaches for some of us.
In a relationship with a sociopath, you’ll quickly learn that you don’t need to use your brain anymore. It’s really a moot exercise that goes something like this:
While sharing your most intimate feelings and your best ideas with your sociopathic partner, he’ll sit there seemingly listening while he nods, grunts “a-hem, a-hem,” and rubs his hands together in anticipation for you to hurry up and shut up. As soon as you finish your sentence, he’ll says, “Well, but you’re wrong. It’s actually X, Y, and Z; not A, B, and C.”
And it doesn’t matter what the topic, you will always be wrong. (Unless it’s knowledge or experience you have that he wants to suck from you. Just don’t ever expect a “Thank you” for your free lessons. Sociopaths take with impunity.)
If you’re in a relationship with a sociopath, it doesn’t matter what you think or say. The sociopath isn’t going to listen to you anyhow, so you may as well stop.
2. You never have to change.
Those 10 pounds you’ve been wanting to lose? Keep ’em! That class you wanted to take in hopes of helping your career? Stop worrying about saving up for it. Why? Your sociopath likes you just the way you are, the way you were when he spotted you and set his sights on ensnaring you. The idea that you would want to improve yourself when you are already so “perfect” is absurd to the sociopath.
Change is a dirty word to the sociopath. Change means you are spending time doing something that doesn’t involve pampering and tending to his needs. Only his self-improvement, reputation, and goals matter. Find out what your sociopath wants to accomplish and help him grow and change. Your self-improvement is completely unnecessary.
You can finally breathe a sigh of relief knowing you don’t have to bother with all of the hard work that goes into being successful and accomplished. You can feel completely content being a sub-par human. It’s not like anyone would notice improvements anyhow, right? Pfft!
3. You never have to make hard choices.
Decisions. Decisions. They’re pesky little buggers, huh? If you’re lucky enough to be in a relationship with a sociopath, he’ll make those decisions for you. No need to worry your pretty little head about making any for yourself, okay?
The sociopath knows what’s best for you after all. And he will tell you often what’s best for you. It’s quite amazing how much he knows after only knowing you for a short time, too. It’s like you are soul mates or something and you’ve been waiting for him to come and save you from being burdened by all of these tough choices and decisions.
4. You never have to make new friends (and you can forget about old ones!)
Maintaining healthy relationships with friends and families can be a burden sometimes. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I just want to turn off my ringer and not listen to my sister complain to me or to my best friend tell me about another argument she had with her husband. Another exhausting part of life I would like to do without on occasion.
Enter your sociopathic partner to the rescue! Thanks to him, you will never have to worry about that again.
Your sociopath will single-handedly make all of your friends and family members disappear. In record time. It’s like magic, really. One day you’re getting calls from your mom, dad, sisters, and long-time friends; the next day you’ve got no one. (What a fucking relief, huh? They just drained you anyhow and expected too much of your time.)
But how did the sociopath accomplish what you never could with your friends and family? How did he get them to leave you alone for a change?
It seems your sociopath’s charm can be VERY selective when he puts his mind to it. He puts on a prince charming mask for you but a Darth Vader helmet for everyone else. No wonder you keep ignoring all the warnings your friends and family give you about him. You can’t see what they can see, and it is just how the sociopath likes it.
And now you have no more friends. It’s just the two of you. You and your sociopath against the world. Isn’t it so romantic?
5. You never have to love yourself.
The most difficult place to get to in life is a place of self-love. Self-love requires you to care for yourself, respect yourself, take responsibility for yourself, and know yourself. If you’re in a relationship with a sociopath, the struggle to find self-love is over, because the sociopath will strip away every last ounce of your spirit. You will be rendered spiritless, and it’s only with a spirit guiding us that we can journey toward the inner peace self-love provides.
Your sociopathic partner will convince you that you are worthless, shameful, and damaged. Through gaslighting, triangulation, projection, and manipulation, you will quickly be convinced that you are garbage.
You are a bad mother, a bad father, a horrible employee, a person in need of learning lessons. Everything you accomplished in life up until the time you met the sociopath means absolutely nothing. Why? Because it didn’t involve the sociopath.
Get a head start today. Go ahead! Delete your Facebook account. Delete your blog. Throw away pictures from your past. You are stuck with a sociopath who can’t be bothered with your tears, your hopes, your desires, or your ambitions. But most of all, he can’t be bothered with you behaving like you matter.
Do you matter? Of course you do! I don’t want you to give up on yourself. Please don’t give up on yourself.