It’s difficult to have much sympathy for the disordered person who has hurt you or who continues to hurt you. I always advise not to pity the narcissistic sociopath because it could lead us back to the co-dependency that allowed the abuse to last for as long as it did. Our strength is in our ability to empathize with these monsters. It really does help to move forward and live the life you were meant to live. Just don’t feel too sorry for them. After all, they are the ones who choose to be the way they are regardless of having been born with their disadvantages. Peace!! And thank you, Lynna!!

My Sociopath

light-in-darknessIf you are feeling angry or hurt by the harmful actions of someone with a destructive personality disorder (sociopath, narcissist, borderline), feel sorry for this person instead.

Think what it would be like to be someone that does not feel validated, energized or even fully alive unless someone else is feeding their ego.  To feel no inner-light driving you toward authentic acts of love, compassion, empathy, enlightenment, truth-seeking, mindfulness, and spiritual growth. When someone else is not in your range of attention, you are void, lost, helpless, empty…

You are a mere shell unless someone else is fueling your insatiable desire for stimulation.  You must seek the light of another human being just to feel alive and when this light source is gone, you must desperately seek a new source, any source. Every person that comes along is your fuel, your stimulation, a satiation for your emptiness, your light…everyone is…

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Join the conversation! 6 Comments

  1. thanks for clarify Lynna,
    guess I’m jumpy due to the recent killings and discussions over mental illnesses and gun control.
    too many people believe that we must forgive those that hurt us, I don’t agree, in my mind, you do the crime you do the time, period
    I will give your piece a second read with a clearer mind, thanks.


    • Hello Gertmcgueen:
      Absolutely agree. If we all held these people accountable even back to their “smaller” infractions (using, manipulating, trying to control others), they might not be able to continue to victimize one innocent person after another.xoxo


  2. There was a time when I was able to forgive, but not forget, what ‘she’ did to me and my family, but after ‘she’ wrote a libelous book and when we objected to it ‘she’ attacked again, enlisting others and more others, that’s when I said NO MORE.

    I may have at one time felt ‘her’ pain, but not after she intentionally wrote lies to harm everyone and ‘she’ has intentionally caused and still is causing harm to me and family. there is no feeling sorry for ‘her’, she had her chance to change and do the right thing(s), ‘she’ chose to be evil and harm again and again.

    Some people are just plain evil…evil DOES exist in the world! If someone has a mental illness, which ‘she’ does, then they need to be under restraints and not be allowed to continue to harm people. If they are allowed to continue to harm others then that contitutes EVIL In this case that evil is directed to me and my family and I fight that evil…there is no place for pity or compassion in the face of evil.


    • Hello Gertmcgueen:

      This writing was metaphorically speaking only. It wasn’t meant to imply that you should literally feel sorry for someone that destroys you and allow more destruction to happen.
      That wasn’t what the writing said at all. Again: It was metaphorical only.



  3. You are exactly right, Paula. Feeling sorry for someone who does these things does lead us right back to the codependency and feeds the sickness. For me, I see the extreme suffering and thanks to him pushing me to the brink, finally finally am able to stop the rescuing, stop the feelings of never being good enough, stop feeling sorry for beings that are totally incapable of experiencing reality, stop trying to make them see so that the world will be a better place. I am learning to take care of myself only, in truth, in love and in the highest integrity. We are NOT responsible for the behavior of others. I will NOT give up my life ever again to live in this sick distortion of someone else’s misfortune for ANYreason. Thank you for reposting this on your blog. Bless you, and all of us who are living the truth of love now.


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