The boy would speak of his exes and of me and explain that he was attracted to all of us because we seemed to have good values. He claimed he was never in love with any of his exes but mentioned what good and loving people they were. This statement always confused me. If they were so lovable as he noted, why then couldn’t the boy love them?
But whenever I threatened to leave him or simply had disagreed with something he said (always petty stuff), the boy would claim I didn’t love him the way he NEEDED me to love him (basically meant full agreement with everything that spewed from his mouth), but that all he did was love me so much. By the end of our relationship, I would respond to his dying devotions of love to me with,”You don’t love me. You love the idea of me and what I can do for you.” He never understood what I meant, and it’s taken me nearly 18 months to fully understand my own observation.
I believe the boy and other emotional and psychological controllers and manipulators (i.e., narcissists, borderlines, sociopaths) wish to steal our goodness right out from under us. I believe they recognize they lack something genuine and good (a conscience) and somehow believe that being in close proximity to our genuine goodness (our consciences) it will somehow rub off on them.
But they will NEVER succeed. EVER. The only thing the boy succeeded in doing was to render me numb and robotic. I lost my capacity to show love and care (for him at least). I absolutely hated and was disgusted by the sight of him. Thankfully, I escaped before he realized this and discarded me as he had so many before me.
Unless the boy can look within and recognize his own ugliness, he will NEVER be good. He is a thief. He is a serial killer of innocent spirits. He’s a sociopath to the core.
“The Wise Woman’s Stone”
“A wise woman who was traveling in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveler saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation.”
“The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. But days later he came back to return the stone to the wise woman.”
“I’ve been thinking,” he said, I know how valuable the stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone.”
~ancient Indian parable