mask of a sociopathAccording to Martha Stout, Ph.D. and her book The Sociopath Next Door, sociopaths make up 4% of our society in the West. That’s about 1 in 25 people walking around among us without a conscience, without the ability to measure, or care to measure, the morality of their decisions and actions. Would you know how to identify a sociopath if you saw one, met one, started an intimate relationship or entered into a business contract with one? More than likely the answer is “no,” because unlike what we read on the television news or see in Hollywood movies, sociopaths aren’t just serial killers and murderers. Rather, they are members of our communities who we would never suspect of evil or wrong doing and who seamlessly blend into society with the rest of us.

Imagine someone you respect and whom many others respect unconditionally in your community, city, or small town.  He’s a CEO, chief of police, principal, or football coach. He has a college degree in one hand and a glass of expensive scotch in the other. He wears a Rolex or TAG Heuer on his wrist. He has a nice pearly white smile and the manners and charm of a prince. He has a squeaky clean driving record, a home, a wife, and children. He has influential friends. He shares lunch with judges and other high-profile leaders in your community.  He’s the person everyone trusts and honors.

Now imagine an abuser, rapist, or murderer in your mind. What does he look like? Is he a filthy, jobless degenerate with an alcohol or anger management problem? Is he the guy who yells at his wife in public and spanks his kid in the check-out line of your local grocery store? Does he smoke and wear clothes with holes in them? Does he drink Pabst or MGD out of a can? Does he swear and curse in the presence of women, children, and the elderly?

Hmmmm? What if I told you that the person you should be most fearful of and suspicious of being sociopathic is the one most respected in your community? What if I told you the dirty, jobless guy is the least of your community’s concerns? (He’s still a problem, but he’s easy to spot and monitor.) What if I told you the very person you think you should trust is the one person with whom your secrets, interests, desires and vulnerabilities should never be shared? Kind of pisses you off, doesn’t it? It should scare you, too.

But not all is lost. You can still protect yourself. There are ways to identify who could be the sociopath in your life. The first step toward identifying a sociopath is to first recognize people with a Cluster B personality disorder. These include:

*Antisocial personality disorder—

  • Disregard for others
  • Persistent lying or stealing
  • Recurring difficulties with the law
  • Repeatedly violating the rights of others
  • Aggressive, often violent behavior
  • Disregard for the safety of self or others

Borderline personality disorder—

  • Impulsive and risky behavior
  • Volatile relationships
  • Unstable mood
  • Suicidal behavior
  • Fear of being alone

Histrionic personality disorder—

  • Constantly seeking attention
  • Excessively emotional
  • Extreme sensitivity to others’ approval
  • Unstable mood
  • Excessive concern with physical appearance

Narcissistic personality disorder—

  • Believing that you’re better than others
  • Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
  • Exaggerating your achievements or talents
  • Expecting constant praise and admiration
  • Failing to recognize other people’s emotions and feelings

(source: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/personality-disorders/ds00562/dsection=symptoms)

All sociopaths suffer from at list one (if not all) of the Cluster B disorders, but not all folks afflicted with a Cluster B disorder are sociopaths. Alone, a Cluster B can wreak havoc on your life if you allow it, and the more overlapping of the four disorders a Cluster B possesses, the more destructive he can be. It won’t be until it’s almost too late for victims of Cluster B personalities to know or even suspect that the Cluster B is also a sociopath.

But how can we, as lay persons, make that determination and measure the leap from having JUST a personality disorder to being a sociopath without a conscience? How can we accurately, as non-scientists, measure the truth and conscience of another person? Out of respect for the researchers in the field of psychology and neurology, we can’t. Only a skilled and experienced professional in the field can diagnose or determine the mental state of a person we date, marry, or cohabitate. But we can still listen to our intuition and act in order to protect our own mental health and existence and that of our children.

So, instead of waiting to find out if your Cluster B is also a sociopath, it’s best to be on the safe side and assume that he is. In my experience with a sociopath, I made the mistake of trying to disprove he was a narcissist (because who wants to accept being a victim?) when I should have gone with the safer assumption that he was a full-blown sociopath. I would have escaped sooner, and then I could have spent my time away from him (in a safe place) reflecting, researching, and making the determination as to what he was and remains to be. Making such an extreme assumption is not a very scientific or politically-correct thing to do, but it certainly would have saved me a lot of blame, shame, and guilt.  I recommend that each of you, if in an abusive relationship, assume the person who is abusing you (physically, emotionally, and/or sexually) to be a sociopath and get out, seek support, and try to put your life back together before it’s too late.

This is nothing to joke about. There may only be 1 in 25 people who are sociopaths (and that’s a low estimate, in my opinion), but there are far more people in our society afflicted with one or more of these equally relationship-destructive disorders of Cluster B. We prevent and seek early detection for diseases like cancer and heart disease. Shouldn’t we be preventing and seeking early detection of the potential mental health dangers of others who could, in turn, destroy our own mental health and ruin our lives completely?

*Antisocial vs. Asocial Behavior
One very important distinction needs clarified: antisocial behavior and asocial behavior are NOT the same thing and often misunderstood and erroneously defined by us lay people.

Antisocial behavior does not mean a person avoids social situations. On the contrary, folks who are antisocial participate to a high degree in social activities and use people and public situations in order to exploit or cause harm.

Asocial behavior is defined as an avoidance of social situations. People who are asocial reject or fear social situations, people, and events. These individuals are not charming, charismatic, or in search of attention.

Category:
abuse, domestic violence, Emotional Abuse, Family, Health, Lessons, Love, Mental Health, Narcissist, Psychopaths, Relationships, Self Improvement, Social Studies, Sociopaths
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Join the conversation! 35 Comments

  1. Hi,
    I just divorced a socio path husband of over 20 years…the lies, the manipulation, the betrayals….omg I thought I was going crazy. He turned all blame towards me, his wife. He is a cop and was an affair with a young female cop he works with. I had all the evidence, photos, texts, emails, phone calls and still I was told that I was the reason he left the family. I finally had enough. I went no contact, hired an aggressive male attorney, took him to court, divorced his a** and never talked to him again. It has been 2 years..at first it was difficult. The no contact empowered me, gave me strength that I did not know I had in me. My life is peaceful and sane now. He brought out the worst in me. I cannot believe the ways I acted when he pushed my buttons. The no contact allowed me to finally break this addiction to him. I had so much fear of being on my own. My entire marriage was an illusion ..it was a one sided love. He was and is not capable of loving anyone. Including his 20 year old son. Fortunately my son knows the truth and wants nothing to do with him. Why keep abusive people in your life. My advice is to leave him, divorce him and never communicate with him. Any communication is like talking to the devil. God always has a plan and we font see it right away….but believe me, God taking this evil monster out of my life, was the best thing ever. I have my sanity back…I lost myself in those 20 years trying to please him, trying to change him. They will never change. It is a waste of energy and a waste of time. I can be my own person again. Divorcing him was the best decision I ever made. If he wants those sexy, young minions…that’s ok. Please, they can be my replacement and now the receiver of his lies, affairs and betrayals.

    Like

  2. WE HAD A NEIGHBOR WHO WAS A SOCIOPATH AND HE LIVED RIGHT NEXT DOOR HE WAS SO SICK IN HIS HEAD. HE PUT US THROUGH LIVING HELL. WE FINALLY MOVED AWAY. HE MADE EVERYONE TURN ON US. AND MADE IT LOOK LIKE WE WERE CRAZY. I FEEL SORRY FOR HIS CHILDREN TO HAVE A FATHER LIKE THAT. IT WENT ON FOR 8 YEARS. BUT I LEARNED HOW TO STOP HIM AND IT WORKED. YOU HAVE TO MAKE HIM THINK YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR MIND AND EVERYTHING HE TELLS PEOPLE IS TRUE.. START SINGING AND DANCING, START TALKING TO YOURSELF. EVERYTHING HE TELLS OTHER YOU ARE DOING, DO IT ( ONLY IF ITS HARMLESS) I DON’T KNOW WHY BUT IT WORKED HE LOOKED LIKE HE WAS STARTING TO GET SCARED. SOCIOPATHS PUT YOU THROUGH VERY BAD MENTAL BREAKDOWNS. I ALSO STARTED DOING EVERYTHING HE WOULD DO IF HE CLEANED HIS CAR I CLEANED MINE, I WOULD WATCH HIM OUT THE WINDOW EVERY TIME HE WAS THERE. IT WAS GETTING TO A POINT THAT HE DID NOT KNOW WHAT TO SAY ABOUT US TO PEOPLE ANYMORE BECAUSE EVERYBODY SEEN IT . I STARTED MAKING HIM PARANOID AND STARTED TO BEAT HIM AT HIS OWN GAME. I WOULD PLAY MUSIC 6:00 AM EVERY MORNING AND SING THE SONGS IN A MICROPHONE I STARTED NOTICING THAT HE REALLY STARTED THINKING TO HIMSELF THAT HE REALLY HAD WATCH OUT FOR HIMSELF. HE CREATED ALL THESE LIES ABOUT US AND WE STARTED TO MAKE THEM COME TRUE TO HIM. AND THEN WE HIT HIM REAL HARD BY JUST MOVING OUT OF OUR HOUSE OUT OF THE BLUE! IT LEFT HIM SPEECHLESS. YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE SUFFERING AND LIES THEY MAKE UP ABOUT YOU AND ALL THE PAIN AND AND GET STRONGER. YOU HAVE TO SHOW THEM YOU DON’T CARE WHAT HE SAYS ABOUT YOU OR WHAT HE DOES TO YOU. YOU LET THEM KNOW YOU WILL NEVER BACK DOWN. BECAUSE ALL THEY WORRY ABOUT IS BEING RIGHT AND HAVING POWER OVER YOU AND TRYING TO MAKE YOU LOSE EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE. I LOST MY JOB, AND WE LOST FAMILY AND FRIENDS BECAUSE OF THIS MAN. BUT WE STAYED STRONG AND REMEMBERED THAT HE WILL DO IT TO SOMEONE ELSE AND THE TRUTH WILL COME OUT ABOUT HIM. BECAUSE SOCIOPATHS JUST MOVE ON TO ANOTHER VICTIM. I PREY FOR ANYBODY WHO HAS BEEN THROUGH THIS. IT IS A HORRIBLE EMOTIONAL SUFFERING YOU GO THROUGH.

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    • I love it!! I have always believed it’s easier not to fight these fools and their allegations and simply act crazy toward them. They think we’re crazy? Well, let’s show them what crazy really looks like. I think if I were to ever see my ex on the street, I’d point at him and scream, “Psycho!!! He’s a psycho!! Save me!!” And then dance in circles and then drop to the ground and go into fake convulsions. Yeah. He thinks I’m crazy. I’ll oblige. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Paula I love your comment!! I still do it and it has been getting easier and easier. the only thing I do regret is my husband and I lost some really nice neighbors over this. but I believe what comes around goes around. have a great day!

      Like

  3. Hi,
    I am new to the discovery of cluster B personality but not to the person in my life that may have been the poster child for it. I have known her for over 30 years. Her newest drama is to cause a scene that her alcohol and drug abuse is destroying her and her kids. Well I bought it –along with other’s only difference is this time I told her to be honest dig deep and tell the rehab that the alcohol is just the symptom to what actually ails her. She is extremely narcissistic going from being abusive to being the abuser. Her constant need for attention has humiliated and embarrassed everyone in her life but herself—she says guilt is a wasted emotion. I say it is a balance check on having some humility. She is extremely dominating to the point of bullying. Cheated incessantly on her sociopathic husband who she loved for the drama and hated because she has issues so deep it kept her with him despite his constant abuse. She is promiscuous, dresses for sex, needs everyone’s attention and reminds us how smart beautiful and successful she is. She goes from boasting and bragging about her children to anger at them for being in the way when she seeks self- destructive behavior. Her whole life is about the never ending divorce(now I know she doesn’t shut off the abusive ex because she loves the attention and drama). It’s police, underage drinking parties at her house, countless men who use her for sex, lawyers, restraining orders, drunk driving. DSS etc. she ropes you in due to her excessive shallow charm and banter. She insults me in front of my family and friends so they will see her prettier, smarter and wanted. I demanded inpatient treatment hoping to bridge the gap with her kids who want her detoxed and rehabbed before they would think of coming home, her daughter is now diagnosed with multiple issues caused by the parents. She agreed then got out of it. Her family said this is the worst it’s been and she listens to me. But knowing she may have to dig deep she bailed and is doing a day rehab. We both know it’s about her mental illness but now she blames me and has shut me out and I am grateful and angry at the same time. I went online and looked up the symptoms OMG — cluster b histrionic/narcissistic is her to a T. Down to her childhood and now her parenting. I knew it wasn’t the alcohol but a much deeper issue. She lies to therapists, tells certain ppl certain things, leaves out important info and has become a danger to herself and her kids. She is mad at me I don’t care anymore self preservation is necessary. I feel bad about the kids and wish I could call up the therapist and tell her BPD cluster B but she believe’s everything my friend tells her. I am so happy I found websites like this—- I feel a lil saner to realize my weakness for being loyal in this situation will only cause more pain for me down the road. I won’t miss seeing her thrown out of every bar– men walking out of her room when the kids are home and seeing her drink and drive but I hope for her children she gets some clarity on what is really going on. To all that are married or in a relationship run do not walk and best do luck.
    Friend in California

    Like

    • Wow. Your friend is lucky to have you even though she doesn’t heed your advice and seek inpatient treatment. You’re right. Her therapist is surely fooled by her. They don’t learn about how to detect deception in college and they certainly don’t get the training until they’re struck unexpectedly by someone with a personality disorder. My ex’s therapist was convinced I was bipolar or borderline simply because of things my ex would say to her about me. She never once met me but he had her convinced I was the cause of all of his issues. He only sought therapy in order to abuse me more with what he learned from her. They know they are sick; they just enjoy being that way and will do their due diligence to keep the focus off of them and on everyone else’s negative traits. They are masters at clouding and fogging issues. Don’t let your friend get away with her bad behavior when you’re around. Call her out. One day she may thank you. 🙂

      Like

    • wow,
      this is my sister!
      I could have written this myself!
      Run as fast as you can, because there absolutely nothing you can do but protect yourself.
      They are very dangerous poeple.

      Like

  4. […] But how can we, as lay persons, make that determination and measure the leap from having JUST a personality disorder to being a sociopath without a conscience? How can we accurately, as non-scientists, measure the truth and conscience of another person? Out of respect for the researchers in the field of psychology and neurology, we can’t. Only a skilled and experienced professional in the field can diagnose or determine the mental state of a person we date, marry, or cohabitate. But we can still listen to our intuition and act in order to protect our own mental health and existence and that of our children. So, instead of waiting to find out if your Cluster B is also a sociopath, it’s best to be on the safe side and assume that he is. In my experience with a sociopath, I made the mistake of trying to disprove he was a narcissist (because who wants to accept being a victim?) when I should have gone with the safer assumption that he was a full-blown sociopath. I would have escaped sooner, and then I could have spent my time away from him (in a safe place) reflecting, researching, and making the determination as to what he was and remains to be. Making such an extreme assumption is not a very scientific or politically-correct thing to do, but it certainly would have saved me a lot of blame, shame, and guilt.  I recommend that each of you, if in an abusive relationship, assume the person who is abusing you (physically, emotionally, and/or sexually) to be a sociopath and get out, seek support, and try to put your life back together before it’s too late. The mask of a sociopath: awareness of cluster B disorders and sociopaths […]

    Like

  5. Thanks for all the info….I don’t feel so alone anymore. I have a brother who is a psychopath and sister-in-law who is borderline and I am the target for both of them. They have destroyed the family.

    Like

    • I’m really sorry you are dealing with this, Anonymous. There are too many quietly enduring nightmares they think no one else would understand.

      Like

  6. I am not sure what my ex NP is, but grateful he is my ex. I have done quite a bit of research on narcissistic personality disorder and bi-polar disease. I think he is a combination of the two known as Cluster B. When he first met me, he spent months “wooing” me with calls and texts and then once he figured out I was interested seriously, he quit texting and disappeared for weeks. We live in different cities, but when I visited him, I noticed some abnormal and scary behavior. He is easily angered, he doesn’t want to go anywhere, but smoke cigarettes and drink excessively in his room, shared with me that he is addicted to online porn, and sleeps every day until 1:00 or 2:00 p.m. His parents have given him a large sum of money, so he doesn’t have to work. Red flags also were that he has been married twice – the longest only lasting seven years. He is obsessed with his second wife of three years – talks about her constantly. She is remarried, but he insists he could get her back. He also talks about ex-girlfriends horribly. They are all psychos who still want him – never saw any of them trying to contact him while I was with him. For being almost 50 years old, he seems to enjoy playing games with people. The final straw for me was when he sent me a text he intended for another woman. I knew then what I had suspected all along. And he had shared in our conversations that some “smoking hot young girl” was after him. She is 15 years younger than me, so I guess that was meant to be hurtful. Fortunately, I am very confident but I did find that very disrespectful and rude. Not sure how he could ever have a successful relationship with anyone. Just glad it will NOT be with me.

    Like

    • Hehe! Yes! Many of us are VERY glad they’re gone from our lives. Your situation sounds a lot like mine but my ex is younger, under 40. Regardless, I am convinced he will never have a lasting and loving relationship, and I pray he never has children. While with him, he remained in contact with a few past girlfriends, and yes, they were all crazy and they all loved him and wanted him. I believe one did still hold a candle for him, but she was a girl from his childhood. What could she possibly know of the “man” today? And one of the other women was married with children. He would disclose to me his calls and emails as if he were their unofficial counselor or something. He was always playing the martyr or the victim, it seemed. Very extreme. But if I so much as texted “hello” to a past male friend, I was deemed a whore. So tiresome, these fools. 🙂

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  7. I’m fairly sure my brother in law is a sociopath. I have good evidence that he is sabotaging my belongings. He’s a very selfish man who lives a parasitic lifestyle and shows little signs of remorse. Despite being a doctor, he merely sees people as stupid idiots who need to be controlled. He’s also against disabled people being alive (!). That’s the kind of detached person he is. He’s been nasty to me since day one, but manipulates my partner terribly, so it’s being made to look like I’m the one with the issue.

    I’ve recently discovered many of my prized possessions have been UTTERLY destroyed – he is currently living with us (cleverly manipulated my partner). My partner will not entertain the idea that it’s his brother doing it and blaming it on where and tear/me being careless.

    I believe he will destroy our relationship. Whether intentionally or not, I don’t know. I had a step mother who was the same and destroyed my family – my father abandoned us all, taking her word over ours. I can see the signs and what he is doing, but I have no idea how to stop this. My partner thinks his little bro (25 yrs) is wonderful, a bit
    cynical, but ultimately a good guy.

    Like

    • Listen to your gut and keep track of things. I would even take pictures of everything in your home as proof that wear and tear can’t be used as an excuse. The boy in my story once asked my sister how she could date a guy with only one leg. He said he was only 1/2 a man. Very disturbing!!! These people have zero worth, in my opinion.

      Like

  8. Excellent, site, Paula! I agree that there needs to be more awareness about personality disorders and you have summed them up well. When you were in highschool did you remember learning about any of this? I took psychology classes and don’t remember hearing this or anything that could be helpful at all to a young girl. I do remember a lot about salivating dogs and bells… I had to learn about predators the hard way, which seems to be the case 99% of the time… I am glad you are fighting the good fight!

    Like

    • To be honest, I have never taken a course in psychology, not even a 101 class in college or high school 20 years ago. (I wish I had before my experiences with abuse.) Everything I write about has been learned on my own through reading and speaking with my counselors and other experts in the field of psychiatry/psychology. I’m just trying to pull together as much useful information as possible to allow anyone to understand these disorders and how to spot them at the most basic level. Thanks for stopping by. I like your blog. 🙂

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  9. […] sociopaths, and others characterized with Cluster B personality disorders feed off of the values, knowledge, and sympathy of others. It’s part of their life source, […]

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  10. I like to play it safe and leave people like that out of my life as much as possible. It sucks when you have a brother in law who is a sociopath. These types make life difficult, but I think we can all use common sense and be smart enough to kick them out of our lives as needed.

    Like

    • You are right. But it’s hard for good people to do that, because we feel guilty for kicking someone out of our lives. It’s what they love about us humans with feelings and empathy. 🙂

      Like

    • I spent 20 years feeling like a pile of crap and depressed because I got beat up, teased and harassed. I was a good “nice” girl. It took a while, but finally I am strong enough to not worry about hurting someones feelings. Your blog is a great tool to share with the world that we are not alone, do not deserve to be treated like scum, and are strong enough to just say NO. I am proud of you for getting this far and learning what you have. You are an inspiration. I wish my sister would read what you write and believe in herself.

      Like

    • Thank you. I write for people like your sister. One day she’ll get it. And I realize now that I am good enough even with all of my faults and issues and bad choices. We all have the potential to change and be happy. And that’s theultimate goal in life, right? Just to be really happy. 🙂

      Like

    • I think so. Happiness comes from inside for sure.

      Like

  11. Read your book with great interest Paula, finished it early this morning. My very own personal creep has histrionic, borderline and narcissist badges according to this post which is fabulous, he also has some antisocial sprinkled on top for making himself that much bigger of an assholejackwad to be around. God I hope he found a house this weekend! The similarities in your book describe the last 20 years of my life and my previous ex. Wanting to “dress” me the way he wants me to look, going to public places and pointing out how ugly everyone is and how poorly dressed, how we are the best looking people there. I had no friends, no family and he could not be alone. That is just the tip of the ice berg. I will probably soon post red flag alerts on my blog. I will include a letter from when we were just together 5 years and don’t know why I saved it, I thought it was weird. Also, saved an email that shows his fuckedup way of thinking and how hypnotized I was. Amazing journey my friend! Your efforts are very valued!

    Like

  12. Fabulous, informative post – thank you, Paula! The man in my life has many cluster B “symptoms” if one can call them that. Having labels to put on these assholes makes it much easier to step back and see them for what they are and begin the journey back to being a real person again.

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  13. My ex is so charming that he has most, if not all, people in his life fooled. As long as you are projecting back to him an image where he sees himself as being a “good” person then he can easily manipulates you into believing he adores you. As soon as you see the cracks in his veneer he begins to engage in more risky behavior (blatant infidelity including high risk sex, name calling, starting violent fights in public or in front of family) knowing that you will begin to disengage so that he can use the guise of being the “hurt and abused one” on other unsuspecting victims. Spewing about how he always falls victim to “psycho women”. A terrifying aspect is that people who have been fooled for years do not always see that the narcissist has a string of “psycho women” in his life and the problem is him not everyone else.

    One thing that I find particularly eerie is that he fawns over his son as if he actually cares about him but when you take a hard look at his responses to his child, the different way he treats him in front of an audience versus when it is just you, and his eruptive behavior in front of him you realize that a child makes a perfect mirror for a sociopathic narcissist. A child is someone who loves and adores their parents, regardless of their faults constantly reflecting back an image to the narcissist as them being “perfect”. That coupled with the child becoming an avenue in which the narcissist can try to make the child and extension of himself.

    Like

    • Yes, Loren, it’s a frightening realization. They use their own children as tools and supplies for their narcissistic behavior. But it only works with their own children. If a girlfriend brings a child from a previous relationship into a relationship with a narcissist, he’ll see the child as an obstacle and treat the child as such. That’s what happened to my son, who was as young as 4 when my X began his control, manipulation, and abuse of him. It started first with me being accused of favoring my son over him. My response to this, “Of course I favor my son over you. You’re a big boy with a mommy of your own. Go get her pity; she’s in the back.” Since that failed, he went directly to attacking and belittling my son, but at very convenient times, times when I was not home, directly in the room, or out with them somewhere. So, it took me a long time to really understand why my son hated my X. I assumed he was simply jealous of the attention I gave the X, which is natural. But when my son started to say things like, “I hate him. He makes me sick,” I knew something far more sinister was at play. I stopped letting them spend “boy time” together and made certain I was always around. My X finally broke and couldn’t contain his dislike, jealousy, and pure hatred for my son and began acting out against him in my presence. He’s sick and twisted and has no conscience or understanding that he has done anything wrong. None of these types do. Thanks for commenting, Loren.

      Like

  14. I just want to add – what makes it so hard, which you described, is that they don’t “look” evil. They look like, act like, “good people.” They are respected. Everyone thinks my husband is “so nice.” I sound crazy if I try to explain than he is not good to me or my daughters, because he seems “so nice.” Thank you for writing this post.

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    • Our society puts such an emphasis on appearance, and sociopaths learn this early and blend in easily. It’s as if they have a manual they share, when in reality the manual is society itself and the behaviors of good people they model. So scary!!

      Like

  15. Paula, this is a great post!!!

    Like

  16. The Narcissist describes my ex perfectly. I can’t imagine how they get like that. I read somewhere that when parents are not affectionate, expect a perfect outer appearance and onlly focus on what a child can produce (high grades, good at sports,) instead of just accepting and loving who they ARE it creates a person who expects the same of others. Love isn’t the bottom line, results and appearances are!

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    • Like most cancers, no one knows what causes personality disorders like narcissism. There have been studies done on brain activity that suggests a person’s tendency to be afflicted is genetic but only about 30-50% genetics-based. The other factors are nurturing of the parents, environment, and the culture in which they are raised. Less than 1% of all Asian populations are made up of sociopaths. The scientists and researchers attribute this to the Asian’s value and equality of all living things and that even those born with a higher tendency to be sociopaths, will follow the norms of their culture in order to blend in. This allows fewer opportunities for the amoral part of people to be nurtured. Where in the West, our cultural values are focused on the individual and winning and being distinguished…the perfect petri dish for breeding narcissistic sociopaths! (That’s why I think 4% is a low estimate.)

      Like

  17. Oh my goodness this is such an informative post! I had no idea about the Asocial and antisocial difference…my father is the anitsocial…wow! i am going to tweet and fb this!!

    Like

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