I am quite positive that my Sociopathic X has used my blog and book as tools to prove he is the victim and that I am just a bitter ex-girlfriend. I’m sure of it. I believe he has directed his most recent girlfriends (and his few remaining friends and family) to read my blog in order to prove how crazy I am.
First, of course he adamantly denies that anything that he said or did to me was abuse. He brushes it off as normal relationship quarrel-type episodes that “Paula has now blown out a proportion because she is bipolar and has multiple personality disorder.” (I wish I could see him saying this shit with a straight face. He must do it pretty convincingly.)
Once he convinces them of this, he proceeds to tell them that he’s the one who has suffered and had to seek counseling for my abuse, hence the role reversal of the abuse protocol. To further convince them of this and to provide more proof of my delusional mind and a solid reason for why he can’t move on and have a healthy relationship, he directs them to my websites and blog. And the scary part is that they believe him, at least at first. Why? Because they are trapped in his web, spun to perfection during the first phase of his sociopathic seduction.
In predictable narcissistic sociopath fashion, he spends the first part of his relationship idolizing his victim. This is the phase where he seems sympathetic and like the first man she has ever known to be sensitive and interested in really understanding her feelings. She reveals everything about her past, present, and future, and he responds with how “amazing and inspiring and unbelievable you are! You make me so proud to say you’re my girlfriend.”
That phase doesn’t last long for this Sociopath. Soon, he begins to use his girlfriend’s secrets and values against her. He gaslights her, accuses her of not caring about him when she disagrees with something seemingly insignificant, demands that she stop doing things she’s always enjoyed doing because it takes away from his time (even though he calls it “our” time), continuously uses the phrase “if you loved me like you say you love me then you wouldn’t [fill in the blank],” and succeeds in driving her to the edge of believing she’s going nuts.
Fortunately, even though she dismissed my blog as the ramblings of a crazy bitch months or weeks before, she returns to my writings. That’s when she looks at them objectively, and the light bulb goes off. She rethinks this sicko’s motives and jumps ship.
(At least this is my hope. Don’t fall victim to his DARVO attempts. Leave while you can. He’s only going to get worse, and it’s only going to get harder and harder to escape. He once told me that he had a gut feeling that he would never have children. I hope to God his gut is correct.)