Heart outside of his jar - Keep it there!If you succeed or have succeeded in ending your relationship with a narcissist, a sociopath, or anyone with an affliction associated with any Cluster B disorder (antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorders, and histrionic personality disorder), there WILL be a time in either the near or distant future that the nutcase will contact you in an attempt to lure you back into his lair.

The sociopath will choose a time in his life that he needs you the most. He might be alone, engaged to someone who is simply driving him crazy, married to a nag, or dealing with a pregnant wife who just won’t put out or give him any attention. Whatever his situation, he’s suffering because the woman in his life doesn’t love him the way he NEEDS to be loved. He’ll be sitting around one day and suddenly you’ll come to mind, and he’ll think:

“Paula. Yeah, Paula. She was easy to manipulate and control; she’ll enjoy some of my flattery and give me some, too, I’m sure. Getting my fix [his narcissistic supply] from a few e-mails or phone calls would really boost me right now.”

And off goes the narcissist to call, write or text Paula with lies, lies, lies about how he’s being mistreated and misunderstood.

He’ll be expecting Paula to soothe his ego and take pity on him immediately. He’ll expert her to say, “You poor thing. You deserve better. You poor, poor, thing.” But he doesn’t realize that Paula has learned her lesson (FINALLY!) and can now recognize the tricks of sociopathic pricks like him even from a distance of several light years.

So, instead of having pity and replying to him with soothing words often reserved for children, she won’t respond at all. She won’t even send him a “Screw off!” note. Instead, she’ll ignore him because that’s the best way to defeat these predators. Ignore them and act like they aren’t even human, because, with all sincerity, they aren’t human like the rest of us.

These song lyrics below (and video here) may help some of you who are on the fence about finally deleting, blocking, or changing your email and phone number, so you don’t have to read his words or hear his disgusting voice again…

“Jar Of Hearts”

No, I can’t take one more step towards you
‘Cause all that’s waiting is regret
Don’t you know I’m not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most
I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

[Chorus:]
And who do you think you are?
Runnin’ ’round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don’t come back for me
Who do you think you are?

I hear you’re asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms
And I’ve learned to live half-alive
And now you want me one more time

[Chorus:]
And who do you think you are?
Runnin’ ’round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don’t come back for me
Who do you think you are?

Dear, It took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
‘Cause you broke all your promises
And now you’re back
You don’t get to get me back

[Chorus: x2]
And who do you think you are?
Runnin’ ’round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul

Don’t come back for me
Don’t come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?

Category:
Addiction, domestic violence, Family, Forgiveness, Friends, Love, Music, Poetry, Relationships, Self Improvement, Spirituality, Video
Tags:
, , , , , , , ,

Join the conversation! 17 Comments

  1. Thank you so much for replying. I just hate thinking he is happy with her.

    Like

  2. I see how his new woman is becoming friends with his friends on facebook. Eww. She is falling into his trap right?? Why else would she become friends with his friends and why am i obsessing all the time about him and her? Help!! I just want it to stop. He doesnt bother me at all. I feel so crazy.

    Like

    • It’s normal to feel what you’re feeling. It’s like withdrawing from a bad habit: we crave it but know it’s not good for us for so many reasons. We hate seeing others continue to enjoy it, but we know it will only bring them regret the more they imbibe. Standing back and watching the madness unfold is a safe place to be. Just think back on how sick it made you and the obsession and worry will subside. Our brains have a tough time turning off that switch a familiarity, even when our heart knows we are better than that drug could ever be. 🙂

      Like

    • Been there. Even knowing what you know, you can feel pain and jealousy for a while. You also wonder if the new gf got the “good” version of your ex. But it’s short-lived.

      Like

  3. do they really try to come back? he has a girlfriend right now and i tried to warn her but of course she didnt belive me. we also have a child together.

    Like

    • Because you have a child with him, you are especially more vulnerable to his games. The new girlfriend will leave soon enough. She may not believe you now because she’s still on cloud nine and can’t imagine leaving her Prince Charming. But your words are sitting in the back of her mind. (Women may act stupid temporarily during the idolization phase; but we wake up especially when we were originally warned.)

      Like

    • My abusive ex, he broke up with me (I wasn’t sufficiently submissive), but came back a couple weeks later, claiming to have “grown up a lot.” A week later, he was gone again. His next girlfriend told me he did that because he was horny…..

      That girlfriend and I were friends that year, so I found out she knew very well that he wasn’t a good guy. Whatever I said about him, she agreed with. But she lasted a while. It was tough seeing them together, but their relationship was very unstable, and finally ended for good. Then I met my husband and graduated college, so I was safely away. But one evening, to my shock, future hubby and I were loading up the car to go visit family for Christmas, when my ex showed up right next to me! He came all that way just to give me some papers that belonged to me. If it weren’t for future hubby, I wonder what he would have tried….

      My ex then got a new girlfriend. They were still at college, so my friends, having seen him with me and then the next girlfriend, tried to warn her. I didn’t even know the girl, and felt it wasn’t my place, so I was glad they did it all on their own. She was pregnant, though, and I guess she was in love; she didn’t listen. 10 years later, they divorced.

      Like

  4. I love this song. When it first came out I described him to the “T”. Don’t you just love how they treat you like dirt and then after they give us women “time to cool off” (as if it was our fault for the abuse) they contact us and expect us to treat them like kings once again. Sick!

    Like

    • It’s part of their disease. They have zero empathy or sympathy, so assume we don’t either. And to call him a King or idol or God, that’s the ultimate! Haha!

      Like

  5. Such an important message! Those of us with functioning beating hearts, that actually care about others, can find it so difficult to resist a plea for help. My dad is up to his old tricks again with my mom and brother. But I have the power to ignore. I used to feel guilty, but now it is just as easy to delete his email as the Buy Viagra ones. Because I know the words are meaningless junk.

    Like

    • I can’t imagine it coming from the one man you should believe, love and trust. Good for you for loving yourself enough to recognize this. 🙂

      Like

  6. Well said and I love that song :~)

    Like

  7. One of the sweetest things I’ve experienced lately is hitting the delete button without replying.

    Like

  8. And that is one of my favorite videos its so beautiful.xoxo

    Like

  9. Paula what a great post! however my little nutcase will never contact me again. If you read my last post that is pretty much how i have been addressing him and speaking to him anytime he has attempted to! 😉

    Like

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: