“Opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves come when life seems most challenging.” – Joseph Campbell

The above quote captures what the month of February 2012 was for me…challenge upon challenge.

Most of my readers know that on February 1 I started (and will be finishing tonight!) a 30-day Bikram yoga challenge. Honestly, I don’t think I could have completed it without the help of my husband and son, who complained only slightly about my stinky-ness, sweaty-ness, and tiredness. (I’ll be preparing a surprise for them this weekend. They have NO idea!! wink, wink)

Also this month, my readers were aware that I started the process of having my tattoo removed. It’s been bitter-sweet but fairly painless. If you missed any entries, get caught up now!

However, you, my readers, were unaware that I received a VERY disturbing email mid-month (February 13) that challenged my spirit, my faith in humanity, and faith in my ability to act and react appropriately.

The exact details of the email are unimportant. Just know that reading the email instantly destroyed my memories and understanding of my recent past; it had the potential to destroy my marriage and relationship with my husband; and it made me doubt my current and seemingly healthy physical state. (The emotional effects? Pfft! ENORMOUS!)

So, how did I act and react? I turned to my creative side and did what I would like to think I do best… I wrote.

I wrote to the sender (to thank her and to acknowledge I received her generous disclosure), I wrote to the subject of the email (to let the Douche Bag know that I now know about something he lied about in hopes he’d provide an explanation or more likely, an excuse), and I wrote to myself (which I shared with my dedicated readers and followers on my The Story of a Sociopath site).

I also coped through having conversations with my family, friends, fellow bloggers, and most importantly, my husband. I was overwhelmed with their love and support and encouraging words and care. My husband was angry with me for many justifiable reasons. However, we kept the conversation going and threw blame out the window. He is no longer angry with me, but I’m not certain if I am 100% forgiven yet. Time will tell.

As for a returned correspondence from the Douche Bag? NONE! So, I wrote some more…to his mother and his new girlfriend (yes, the contents of the original email contained information she was privileged to know, in my opinion). Still nothing. Until I received a threatening letter from the Douche Bag’s lawyer (who is also a douche bag, in my opinion), stating a suit would be pursued if I did not discontinue defaming him in emails and on the site housing The Birth and Evolution of a Narcissistic Sociopath.

So, like any good American who knows her rights, I chose to ignore the letter. (I did, however, stop sending the Douche Bag and his family emails. But the story keeps getting better and better each and every day, don’t you think?)

And, in my opinion, the Douche Bag’s lack of explanation or excuse for not disclosing “his little secret” to me long ago, simply affirms what I have been convinced of for months– The Douche Bag is in fact a narcissistic sociopath with zero empathy or conscience. 🙂

Category:
abuse, Bikram Yoga, domestic violence, Family, Forgiveness, Friends, Health, Humor, Letter, Relationships, Self Improvement, Tattoo, Tattoo Removal, Writing, Yoga
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Join the conversation! 6 Comments

  1. Paula,

    What you are writing about is important. Please be careful to protect yourself with your ex-sociopath, don’t underestimate his evilness.

    Roberta

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    • Roberta,

      Thank you for your comment. I re-evaluate my reason for writing and sharing every day. I am glad you agree it is important. Remaining protected from his evil is one of my biggest concerns. 🙂

      Paula

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  2. I have gained some well needed insights from your postings! I admire your strengths and your ability to connect to your creative side to cultivate positivity. As far as your disturbing news and my limited knowledge of your email, I ask myself-“What would I do?” I hope that I would take the “high road” but until I’m engaged with a situation all I can do is hope that when the moment comes that I stop and simply reflect on your writings and make the mature decision…

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    • I can’t say that I didn’t have violent thoughts. I did. And I can’t say that some of what I wrote to him and shared with his family wasn’t angry. Most of it was. But in the midst of it all, I realized that this crappy person wasn’t going to steal any more of my energy; the vampire was no longer welcome in my life. Through purging myself by writing the Story, I have realized how many other stuff I want to write about, good things I want to share. Lots of cliches come to mind but I am really convinced that something good can come from something bad; we just need to have faith in ourselves. Thanks for sharing your comment, Tanya. I appreciate it. 🙂

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  3. Although this chain of events seemed to bring you very disturbing news, from my limited perspective it truly seems as if you are in an incredible state of personal power. Perhaps the yoga helped solidify this, who knows, but to articulate things are you did is such a sign of awareness and maturity. Good luck!!!

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    • I attribute my ability NOT to pick up the phone and scream into it to yoga. If I had received the email before this month (any time before), I am ot so sure I would have been able to look at the situation as an opportunity. Thank you for your comment. I appreciate it very much.

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