I have been meaning to write this post for the past few months. Unfortunately, everytime I think I have the answers, I second guess myself. This second-guessing game made me realize that the best way to respond to a narcissist is to NOT respond.

A narcissist will always be right. No matter how much logic and sincerity goes into your response, a narcissist will find a way to turn your words against you. It’s quite sad. I am saddened that I allowed a narcissist to affect me for so many years (even though within months of meeting I knew I should have run FAST in the opposite direction). I guess folks like me who can put ourselves in other people’s shoes believed the narcissist wasn’t really a narcissist, that he wasn’t really THAT materialistic or self-indulgent. Folks like me are wrong.

So, I am delighted that I finally found the answer, the answer I intuitively knew but ignored 3 years ago: when faced with a controlling narcissist, say nothing and just run as fast as you can in the opposite direction and NEVER look back. He’ll be fine. Narcissists always are (at least in their minds).

Category:
abuse, domestic violence, Family, Health
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Join the conversation! 6 Comments

  1. Yes, never look back! You can guarantee they are living the SAME life!

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  2. Wow, this post was really a relief for me. I knew that disconnecting was the right thing to do but also felt that I was being mean to him. The fact is that he doesn’t feel it! He WILL be fine!! So move on to normal relationshps and pray for those who may fall pray to him in the future.

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  3. I could have saved myself a lot of time on a therapist’s couch and saved myself a lot of money on self-help books if I had read this earlier.

    You are absolutely correct. Bravo and thank you!

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  4. […] The analogy between narcissists and skunks surfaced after I read a Paula’s Pontifications post, “How to Respond to a Narcissist:” […]

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  5. Yes. I keep thinking my husband isn’t really all that bad; that I’m the one being unfair. I find myself always making allowances for him. And he keeps telling me, well, if you would just do this, then I’ll be nicer to you.

    Thank you for your post.

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